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Tiki Central Forums Bilge If we're not supposed to eat people, why are they made out of meat? (the Cannibal Thread)
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If we're not supposed to eat people, why are they made out of meat? (the Cannibal Thread)
cybertiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jun 28, 2003
Posts: 234
From: Fort Lauderdale, FL
Posted: 2004-12-18 11:57 am   Permalink

Quote:

On 2004-12-18 11:35, Hakalugi wrote:
Wow! That's another example of cannibal coincidence. Kalikiana's above post is the exact same article that is linked in the very first post of this thread!!!



OK ... so you want a DIFFERENT true cannibal story? Try this one:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/3263163.stm

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker
were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now we've caught you and we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then we're going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can choose how to die."

The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword."

The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through.

The Englishman says, "a pistol for me please."

The chief gives him a pistol, the Englishman points it at his head and says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out.

The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork!"

The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork.

The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over--the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There is blood gushing out all over, it's horrible.

The chief is appalled and asks, "My God, what are you doing?"

The New Yorker responds, "So much for your canoe asshole!

Cheers!
_________________
Stay on the beach. The natives over there are cannibals.
They eat liars with the same enthusiasm as they eat honest men.

http://www.cybertiki.com


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cybertiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jun 28, 2003
Posts: 234
From: Fort Lauderdale, FL
Posted: 2004-12-18 12:03 pm   Permalink

Cannibal: One who loves his fellow man (with gravy).

... and then there's always the one about the Cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle one day.

Cheers!
_________________
Stay on the beach. The natives over there are cannibals.
They eat liars with the same enthusiasm as they eat honest men.

http://www.cybertiki.com

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Satan's Sin
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Joined: Jun 13, 2004
Posts: 729
From: Imperial Beach, CA
Posted: 2004-12-18 2:13 pm   Permalink

All we want ...



... is to serve Man.


 
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Kalikiana
Tiki Centralite

Joined: May 01, 2004
Posts: 84
From: South Lake Tahoe
Posted: 2004-12-18 11:57 pm   Permalink

Whooops! Sorry about the repeat post before...I had no idea it was the same story. When I first tried the link, I got an error page. Hmmmm, works fine now...

By the way, I'm loving the cannibal jokes!

[ This Message was edited by: Kalikiana on 2004-12-18 23:59 ]


 
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Hakalugi
Site Administrator

Joined: Aug 10, 2004
Posts: 3055
From: Redondo Beach, CA
Posted: 2004-12-19 12:18 am   Permalink

That's alright Kalikiana. If the linked article moves or disappears, the story will now continue to be here for everyone to savor.

 
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hiltiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jun 10, 2004
Posts: 3109
From: Reseda, calif.
Posted: 2004-12-19 12:36 am   Permalink

Ayyyy, I am speechless again.

 
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Shipwreckjoey
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Nov 29, 2002
Posts: 1794
From: San Diego, CA
Posted: 2004-12-19 01:07 am   Permalink

"...I said Mr. Purple People Eater don't eat me. And he said to me in a voice so gruff "I wouldn't eat you because you're too tough""

- Sheb Wooley


 
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Tangaroa
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Apr 25, 2002
Posts: 1558
Posted: 2004-12-19 11:50 am   Permalink

I took the family to the utterly fascinating 'Body Worlds' exhibit (http://www.bodyworlds.com/en/pages/home.asp) at the Science Center yesterday.

And all I kept thinking about was this thread & how you'd prepare the various parts... Thanks a lot!
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cybertiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jun 28, 2003
Posts: 234
From: Fort Lauderdale, FL
Posted: 2004-12-19 2:27 pm   Permalink

These two cannibals kill a missionary. They argue for a while about how to divide him up, when finally, one of them says,"Okay. You start at the head and I'll start at the feet." So they begin their tasty feast. After a while one of them says, "Hey, this is really great. I'm having a ball.""Slow down!" cries the other cannibal "you're eating too fast!

Two cannibals were sitting by a fire. The first says, "Gee, I hate my mother-in-law." The 2nd replies, "So, try the potatoes."

The first cannibal asked the 2nd cannibal, "Aren't you done eating yet?" The 2nd cannibal replied, "I'm on my last leg now."

One day a cannibal visited the neighboring island of cannibals. There, people cost $2 but politicians cost $25. The visiting cannibal asked, "How come politicians cost so much?" The chief answered, "Do you know how hard it is to clean one of those?"

Cheers!
_________________
Stay on the beach. The natives over there are cannibals.
They eat liars with the same enthusiasm as they eat honest men.

http://www.cybertiki.com

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Mystiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 03, 2003
Posts: 165
From: Sakatamata Island
Posted: 2004-12-19 9:20 pm   Permalink

Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender Missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender."
The second cannibal asks, "What kind of Missionary do you use?"

The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."

"Ah, ha!" the second cannibal replies. "No wonder ... those are friars!"

HEHE....now that give's new meaning to the words "Friar's Roast". @;-)
_________________

Jamio Designs (jamio.com)-Taboo Tiki and Kustom Kulture Art


 
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Hakalugi
Site Administrator

Joined: Aug 10, 2004
Posts: 3055
From: Redondo Beach, CA
Posted: 2004-12-24 12:25 pm   Permalink

Here's a useful chart just in time for your holiday feast preparations:




[ This Message was edited by: Hakalugi on 2004-12-25 10:29 ]


 
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The Sperm Whale
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Aug 23, 2004
Posts: 1550
From: Lakewood California
Posted: 2005-10-27 6:10 pm   Permalink

BUMP

 
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tikivixen
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Aug 28, 2002
Posts: 724
From: Vallejo CA
Posted: 2005-10-27 7:31 pm   Permalink

Just in time for the upcoming holiday feasts, eh Spermy?



 
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alohabros
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Feb 04, 2004
Posts: 533
From: westernus
Posted: 2005-10-28 07:20 am   Permalink

...what did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?
the cold shoulder...


 
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alohabros
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Feb 04, 2004
Posts: 533
From: westernus
Posted: 2005-10-28 07:20 am   Permalink

... have you heard about the cannibal restaurant where dinner costs an arm and a leg?..

 
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