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Behold: The Tiki of Unlimited Abundance |
Johnny Dollar
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Oct 01, 2003
Posts: 2916
From: Baltimore, Maryland, PNG
|  Posted: 2006-01-09 08:28 am Permalink
if your horn of plenty does not subside within four hours, seek immediate medical attention.
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Pepe le Tiki
Tiki Socialite
Joined: May 09, 2005
Posts: 325
From: Vancouver, BC
| Posted: 2006-01-09 08:38 am Permalink
Oh, Great Tiki of Unlimited Abundance!! At long last, a way to increase my dismal luck at thrifting!!!
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Tangaroa
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Apr 25, 2002
Posts: 1550 | Posted: 2006-01-09 08:58 am Permalink
I am completely gobsmacked.
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Chongolio
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Oct 02, 2002
Posts: 2765
From: The Coast of Kauai
| Posted: 2006-01-09 09:31 am Permalink
but wait there is more.... you also get a Tiki mug (Tiki farm knock off) specially made to hold 16 oz of your favorite cyanide laced Mai Tai, a custom pair of black Tiki Nikes, and a free ride on the Hale bop Tiki comet.
Such a small price for so much Cosmic Tiki.
Chongolio
Lost-Isle
Lost-Isle Trading Post
Barefoot bloggin'
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FLOUNDERart
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Sep 02, 2003
Posts: 1140
From: Orlando Florida
| Posted: 2006-01-09 10:20 am Permalink
I knew this was a scam from the get go as I received a paper cut while trying to charge the cut out photo with my own Personal Imprint. The printing ink immediately infected the cut causing a red line to run up my arm toward my heart. I knew I had to act fast and jumped in my car to race to the hospital. Of course my car wouldn't start. I then called an ambulance but when it arrived the medic was my ex-brother in law who preceded to beat me to the ground. A neighbor then pick me up off the ground and preceded to take me but of course on the way we were side swiped by a Hummer sending us into a swampy marsh filled with the dreaded Florida gator. Anyhow to make a long story short I now have a missing leg, arm and a couple fingers, but hey I always have the 30 million to look forward to. Cross your fingers. Since I can't any more.
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Tiki-bot
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Jun 24, 2002
Posts: 1345 | Posted: 2006-01-09 11:02 am Permalink
"The activation of the 'Universal Mana' with which it is 'charged'is 100% automatic and compatible with all systems of belief, religions and traditions worldwide."
Thank God (or whatever) he had the sense to make his Mana work across all platforms! I'm so tired of incompatible Mana. Can't we just decide on a standardized Mana so we can avoid any future compatability problems?
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mrsmiley
Grand Member (8 years) 
Joined: Apr 03, 2002
Posts: 3153
From: Las Vegas, NV
| Posted: 2006-01-09 11:11 am Permalink
TOO FUNNY!! too bad it is a scam to rip people off ,though. 
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virani
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Sep 17, 2003
Posts: 1434
From: Volcanic area of France
| Posted: 2006-01-09 11:38 am Permalink
tiki drive in Tahiti, bwahahaha. Does he knows Tahiti is not an english speaking island ???
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Chip and Andy
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Jul 13, 2004
Posts: 2079
From: Corner table, Molokai Lounge, Mai-Kai.
| Posted: 2006-01-09 12:16 pm Permalink
[ This Message was edited by: Chip and Andy 2009-06-05 17:03 ]
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bigbrotiki
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Mar 25, 2002
Posts: 10562
From: Tiki Island, above the Silverlake
| Posted: 2006-01-09 6:49 pm Permalink
YES...well no...actually, nothing should happen, he would bag the money and smile, right? Why should he care about responding and divulging anything further.
So my thought was to send the fifty, and bait him with a gushing fan letter like "...and I have already felt the power of the TioUnAb when I unexpectedly came into a large inheritance after receiving it's message, how can I secure further blessings..." or something along the lines of "How can I send MORE money to you?"
Thing is, that guy is not dumb, and a scammer is hard to scam, so it might not work,
PLUS also, since I have only a power book MAC as my computer, it took me two weeks and the help of my girlfriend to figure out how to post these pages properly. And I got the letter from Tiki Tony a week later after he told me about it. So even if his 5 day return limit is mainly to coerce people to not procrastinate and forget mailing him, he most likely has flown the coop by now to not be reachable for any legal inquiries.
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spy-tiki
Tiki Socialite
Joined: May 11, 2003
Posts: 697
From: glendale, ca
| Posted: 2006-01-09 7:14 pm Permalink
If fifty of us each put in a dollar....
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SES
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Sep 14, 2003
Posts: 992 | Posted: 2006-01-09 9:36 pm Permalink
Wow that is truly bizarre! Would be great if someone could knock on their door with book in hand and say hello to investigate.
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tikitony
Grand Member (6 years) 
Joined: Aug 18, 2002
Posts: 854
From: Ventura, CA
| Posted: 2006-01-09 10:16 pm Permalink
Yeah, the guy who gave this mailer to me runs a ceramic studio out of a this old ladies back house. He said that she literally gets a dozen of these scam packages a week. She's 83 years old, and quite with it, with a good sense of humor, but my friend told me she gets suckered into believing each one of them, and wants to send money to the most believable ones. I've met her, and talked to her and would never believe she could believe this flowery verbage, but he has to get to them in the mail before she does or else she'll send off a check. I think these scams prey on the old and lonely who play bingo on a bi-weekly basis. Who ever put this together certainly is gifted, and well educated. Every mention of the tiki is "the last great tiki of unlimited abundance" and not just tiki... He's branding his tiki, and by repeating this rediculous combo of words, his magic started to work on me. Reading this finely crafted package gave me more insight into story telling and marketing than a four-year college degree of either subject. As for the time limit he set, I believe its to set the urgency high for the reader, so that they get out the check book now, because he knows that when they put down the Last Great Tiki Of Unlimited Abundance reader, they will probably pick up the next scam mailer that comes the next day. Well, now I want to sculpt the exact Marquesan tiki pictured and send it to him telling him he's got a big fan! I wish we could get our Swiss agent to camp out in the post office and wait until the PO BOX on the return was opened, and interview them. I want to hire this guy to market all of my Limited Abundance Tikis!
-tOny
_________________
 Live like a Beachcomber! www.TikiTony.com www.facebook.com/tikitonybeachcomber
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aquarj
Grand Member (8 years)
Joined: Apr 02, 2002
Posts: 1040
From: SF bay area, CA
| Posted: 2006-01-09 10:24 pm Permalink
Sven and Humu, thanks for pointing out that oversight - wonder how I missed that before! So what's this Book of Tiki you speak of anyway?
Quote:
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FWIW thought I'd juxtapose that collage page with the inside illo from the Lanai menu...
Really looks like the same illustrator, right down to the flowers and the style of lines and colors. I know the outside of the Lanai menu was done by an illustrator from San Francisco named Don Clever, but dunno if he had a hand in the inside. Maybe he did the DTB one too (?).
Anyway, back to the shock and awe of unlimited abundance! Naomi commented that this kind of scheme is quite common in Japan, usually with very well written text and testimonials. I bet it's "real", as far as these things go.
-Randy
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bigbrotiki
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Mar 25, 2002
Posts: 10562
From: Tiki Island, above the Silverlake
| Posted: 2006-01-09 10:58 pm Permalink
Clearly, what we have here is another miracle of the TIKI of UNLIMITED ABUNDANCE:
He has shown us the way to find a link between the Lanai in San Mateo and Don The Beachcomber in Hollywood, an important find in Tiki archaeology!
Phew! I must say that after all this theorizing I am looking forward to Wednesday night's ritual, when I will, after a long dry spell, experience the Tiki TI's Unlimited Abundance! (...of tropical concoctions) Aaaah! My kind of horn of plenty.
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