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Tiki Central Forums Bilge The Official Tiki Central's 'Hijack This Thread" Thread.
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The Official Tiki Central's 'Hijack This Thread" Thread.
GROG
Grand Member (first year)  

Joined: Jun 21, 2006
Posts: 6862
From: Tujunga
Posted: 2006-08-14 6:39 pm   Permalink

Embarrassing moment #151:

GROG wanted to buy a Hummer a few years back, so GROG goes to the Humvee dealership and takes a look around.
No salespersons came around so GROG went to find one. GROG goes up to an attractive lady and says GROG would like to get a Hummer. She slaps the crap out of GROG and storms off. Turns out she wasn't a salesperson. GROG just glad GROG didn't ask the gay guy standing next her.


 
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TikiJosh
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Feb 01, 2005
Posts: 735
Posted: 2006-08-16 1:24 pm   Permalink

My landlord sucks!


 
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Unga Bunga
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jun 06, 2003
Posts: 5814
From: CaliTikifornia
Posted: 2006-08-16 1:38 pm   Permalink

Quote:

On 2006-08-16 13:24, TikiJosh wrote:
My landlord sucks!


Does that cost extra rent?


 
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woofmutt
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Mar 26, 2002
Posts: 2601
From: Seattilite Telstar
Posted: 2006-09-23 01:39 am   Permalink

Aurthur's note: I was gonna post this in the Drunk Again thread which I had always assumed to be a place where everyone posted drunk things. But when lookin' at that thread I realized "Drunk Again" is sorta Suicide Sam's personal blog about diggin' his own grave...What size shovel he's usin', the consistency of the dirt that day, how deep he got, etc. So, here it is here. A complete piece of useless contemplation. Perfect fer Bilge.

I just got in from the second night of the Rockabilly Ball. It's the sorta event yuh kinda figger one should leave drunk from...But I am stone cold sober. And I was last night when I left, too. The main reason fer this strange state of sobriety is that I am drivin' home each night. But the weirder reason is...I haven't felt like drinkin'. It's enough to make me worried that I may never drink again!!! I think that last Saturday's go around with the infamous Pete's Monkeyskull VooDoo Lounge VooDoo Punch may have actually burned out some sorta "I wanna get drunk" part of my brain. And speakin' of evil spirits: I swear I see the ghost of Carrie Nation in the corner of my room smilin' with approval.
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Unga Bunga
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jun 06, 2003
Posts: 5814
From: CaliTikifornia
Posted: 2006-09-23 02:15 am   Permalink

Quote:

On 2006-09-23 01:39, woofmutt wrote:
Aurthur's note: I was gonna post this in the Drunk Again thread which I had always assumed to be a place where everyone posted drunk things. But when lookin' at that thread I realized "Drunk Again" is sorta Suicide Sam's personal blog about diggin' his own grave...Perfect fer Bilge.


MUTT! Are they still letting you post here?
Shit! I'm outta here.


 
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woofmutt
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Mar 26, 2002
Posts: 2601
From: Seattilite Telstar
Posted: 2006-09-23 07:41 am   Permalink

I would like the point out that through the clever use of ellipses my opponent, Unga Bunga, misconstrued the meanin' of my original post to imply that Suicide Sam's posts are ideal fer the Bilge forum. As anyone can see by my original post this was not my intent.

In all the years he has held the office I am currently challengin' him fer, my opponent, Unga Bunga, has used such tactics to confuse the voters; mislay taxpayer money and drycleanin' orders; park fer 5, even 7 minutes in 3 Minute Passenger Loading Only zones; get free water, salt, and pepper at area restaurants; enter major retail stores through the EXIT ONLY doors; and place stamps on pre-addressed envelopes outside of the Place Stamp Here rectangle.

He has also been known on numerous occasions to refer to small pea gravel as medium pea gravel, and has attempted to order breakfast at local cafes and chain restaurants after the noted end of breakfast time.

It's time fer a change. This fall yer vote fer me fer whatever it is he does is yer chance to no longer let Unga Bunga keep yuh unda.
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JimTandem
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jan 02, 2005
Posts: 102
From: Ontario, Ca.
Posted: 2006-09-23 3:01 pm   Permalink

Woof,
Absolutely hysterical stuff....and for that I humbly give you my cherished #100.


 
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Sabu The Coconut Boy
Tiki Central Poet Laureate

Joined: Aug 20, 2002
Posts: 2792
From: Carson, California
Posted: 2006-09-25 4:04 pm   Permalink

The soup of the day at our company cafeteria was Chicken Noodle.


 
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GROG
Grand Member (first year)  

Joined: Jun 21, 2006
Posts: 6862
From: Tujunga
Posted: 2006-09-25 6:07 pm   Permalink

That's what it was at our company cafeteria today, also. Then GROG realized we don't have a company cafeteria, so GROG not sure what GROG was eating and what that particular room is for.

 
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woofmutt
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Mar 26, 2002
Posts: 2601
From: Seattilite Telstar
Posted: 2006-09-29 10:17 pm   Permalink

It was only because (and solely caused by) the little bits of things that seem to get in between the larger parts of nothing that I once again found myself heading south on route 99. Another round with the Lower Dark 37 miles behind me, I was driving with one hand, the other firmly clenched tight, holding the shadow of a dead bird.
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Jungle Trader
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jan 04, 2003
Posts: 3736
From: Trader's Jungle Outpost, Turlock, Ca.
Posted: 2006-10-04 07:52 am   Permalink

I don't get it. But I don't get a lot of things. How is shrunken heads....Tiki? Shrunken heads are macabre. Tiki is cool. What up with that shit?
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Chongolio
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Oct 02, 2002
Posts: 2765
From: The Coast of Kauai
Posted: 2006-10-04 08:45 am   Permalink


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Jungle Trader
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jan 04, 2003
Posts: 3736
From: Trader's Jungle Outpost, Turlock, Ca.
Posted: 2006-10-04 08:51 am   Permalink

aiight, how bout a monkey with a shrunken head of a human as a pendant? Just need to find a monkey that will wear it.

 
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woofmutt
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Mar 26, 2002
Posts: 2601
From: Seattilite Telstar
Posted: 2006-10-09 9:55 pm   Permalink

Once thought lost ferever to the shiftin' sands of time or the deserts around the base of certain West African cell phone spam robots...Here's a blast from the recent past...

Un-Tiki? -cheeky half-

I'm sorry if I step on any Tiki toes here, but I agree with cheeky half. This is just the sorta unregulated over moderated liberal conservative populist snobbery wishy washy mish-mashery that is the reason gnomes have begun to replace trolls, sharks are now walking on land, the sky is green (and falling) at the edges, and cows feel it's all right to mosey about all day sayin' "Ooom-oom-oooooooooom!" Sure, we all want free ice water and a heart felt "Hey there!" from our dry cleaner, but when I first got into Tiki yuh could get two Snicker's bars fer 95 cents at most places, what's-his-name was still in office, and the average gas station restroom powdered hand soap dispenser actually had soap in it! Now yer lucky if yuh can find medium brown shoe laces and are frequently stuck havin' to go with dark brown ones which pert near always look like black and generally require a lotta explanation. So how "Tiki" is that? What's next? Blue grenadine? Extra EXTRA Crispy chicken at KFC? "America's Next Top Ramen"? C'mon. If it comes to that I just have to quote that famous line "Now with more figs!" because clearly it's so small it can go anywhere makin' it convenient fer home, office, school or leisure. If that's "un-Tiki" then call me Harvey (Or "Hank") and use the white courtesy telephone when yuh do it.
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woofmutt
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Mar 26, 2002
Posts: 2601
From: Seattilite Telstar
Posted: 2008-06-10 06:27 am   Permalink

So her's my front yard right now...




The picture is a little old, there are several large holes now which I dug for the logs. Also there's a house. And the water tower. Plus a 7-11, a Denny's, and that wedding chappel I mentioned.

So if I use the 2x4s as braces and the bamboo blinds are wrapped and glued to them do you think I can use that old stack of white walls as the trunks for the fake palm trees I'm going to top with army surplus helicopter props (painted a brighter green, of course!)???

Also I wanted to do a stucco effect on on the ceiling to imitate the ceilings at Palmatoria (before the remodel)...Would peanut butter work? I know it never dries and can't be painted on, will attract yellowjackets, and eventually turn rancid, but could I use it anyway?

Are yellowjackets Tiki? Cuz I have a helluva lotta them in the summer.
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