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Tiki Central Forums » » General Tiki » » Tiki Bar Humor
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Tiki Bar Humor
lucas vigor
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 12, 2004
Posts: 4072
From: SOCAL
Posted: 2014-03-18 08:28 am   Permalink



[ This Message was edited by: lucas vigor 2016-09-01 09:19 ]


 
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GROG
Grand Member (first year)  

Joined: Jun 21, 2006
Posts: 7098
From: Tujunga
Posted: 2014-03-18 11:49 am   Permalink

This one for Lucas. GROG not preface it with whining like Lucas.

C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "you're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.
Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.



 
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Atomic Tiki Punk
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 19, 2009
Posts: 7048
From: Costa Misery
Posted: 2014-03-18 1:19 pm   Permalink

I heard a Musician was arrested for having relations with A minor....

[ This Message was edited by: Atomic Tiki Punk 2014-03-18 16:10 ]


 
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lucas vigor
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 12, 2004
Posts: 4072
From: SOCAL
Posted: 2014-03-18 2:15 pm   Permalink



[ This Message was edited by: lucas vigor 2016-09-01 09:20 ]


 
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Atomic Tiki Punk
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 19, 2009
Posts: 7048
From: Costa Misery
Posted: 2014-03-18 2:25 pm   Permalink

Any joke told in a Tiki Bar is a Tiki joke!

 
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Unga Bunga
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jun 06, 2003
Posts: 5850
From: CaliTikifornia
Posted: 2014-03-18 3:36 pm   Permalink




 
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lucas vigor
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 12, 2004
Posts: 4072
From: SOCAL
Posted: 2014-03-18 4:53 pm   Permalink



_________________
http://soundcloud.com/lucas-vigor/sets/set-3/

I AM A SOCIOPATH!


 
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GROG
Grand Member (first year)  

Joined: Jun 21, 2006
Posts: 7098
From: Tujunga
Posted: 2014-03-18 5:41 pm   Permalink

C, E-flat and G go into a TIKI bar with an interior by Bamboo Ben. The bartender says, "sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "you're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.
Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.

Fixed.


 
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TikiTacky
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Nov 23, 2010
Posts: 1319
Posted: 2014-03-18 5:51 pm   Permalink

Quote:

On 2014-03-18 14:25, Atomic Tiki Punk wrote:
Any joke told in a Tiki Bar is a Tiki joke!



I'll add this to "any mug used in a tiki bar is a tiki mug," and "any music played at a tiki bar is tiki music" as things that will cause a riot on Tiki Central.
_________________
"You can't eat real Polynesian food. It's the most horrible junk I've ever tasted." —Trader Vic Bergeron


 
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Bay Park Buzzy
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Apr 07, 2006
Posts: 3015
From: West Bay Park, San Diego, CA
Posted: 2014-03-18 5:53 pm   Permalink

Quote:

On 2014-03-18 14:25, Atomic Tiki Punk wrote:
Any joke told in a Tiki Bar is a Tiki joke!



Call me a hoity toity purist, but it's that "Anything Goes" attitude with tiki jokes that's ruining the whole tiki humor scene. Tiki humor MUST have TIKIS in it, or it's just another example of tropical inspired Jokiana.

Buzzy Out!
_________________


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Bay Park Buzzy
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Apr 07, 2006
Posts: 3015
From: West Bay Park, San Diego, CA
Posted: 2014-03-18 5:54 pm   Permalink

Now let's RIOT!

Buzzy Out!


 
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Atomic Tiki Punk
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 19, 2009
Posts: 7048
From: Costa Misery
Posted: 2014-03-18 7:13 pm   Permalink

Does it count if there are Tikis in the Tiki Bar?

But what you say sounds cogent, all Tiki Jokes must have Tikis in them
just like in death a member of Project Mayhem, has a name!

Signed: I am Buzzy's splintered carving fingers.

[ This Message was edited by: Atomic Tiki Punk 2014-03-18 19:13 ]


 
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lucas vigor
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 12, 2004
Posts: 4072
From: SOCAL
Posted: 2014-03-18 8:09 pm   Permalink



[ This Message was edited by: lucas vigor 2016-09-01 09:20 ]


 
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VampiressRN
Grand Member (first year)  

Joined: Nov 23, 2006
Posts: 6099
From: Sun City Lincoln Hills (NorCal)
Posted: 2014-03-18 9:48 pm   Permalink

Grog...that was delightfully entertaining!!!

 
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Atomic Tiki Punk
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 19, 2009
Posts: 7048
From: Costa Misery
Posted: 2014-03-18 10:33 pm   Permalink

Two Tiki carvers overheard talking at the Tiki Ti:

When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think its cute.
I just think it's crazy how many people bring knives on a date.



 
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