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Tiki Central Forums » » General Tiki » » Tiki Bar Humor
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Tiki Bar Humor
Sophista-tiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Sep 13, 2005
Posts: 1740
From: Seattle WA
Posted: 2014-04-19 2:21 pm   Permalink

I actually keep a laminated recipe card for the original Trader Vics mai tai in my wallet. but its not 3x5.

 
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AceExplorer
Grand Member (3 years)  

Joined: Apr 03, 2008
Posts: 999
From: Deep in the Jacksonville Florida jungle.
Posted: 2014-05-16 06:12 am   Permalink

I treated my date to a few drinks at my home tiki bar the other night, then took her to an awesome concert. When we got there she said:


 
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telescopes
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 06, 2007
Posts: 569
From: Palm Springs
Posted: 2014-05-19 7:43 pm   Permalink

Quote:

On 2014-04-19 12:06, woofmutt wrote:
[
I've generally tried to refrain from too pointed comments on here but then I'm rarely on here anymore so I'll just go ahead and say I think that's the only thing you've ever posted that was funny. And it's really really funny.



Why? In a world where there is no Woofmutt....One lonely blogger dares to...
_________________
Hola versus the Aloha Monster


 
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shovinoff
Tiki Centralite

Joined: May 14, 2014
Posts: 15
From: Riverside
Posted: 2014-06-06 08:07 am   Permalink

Quote:

On 2014-03-17 22:55, Bay Park Buzzy wrote:
Quote:

On 2014-03-17 21:45, tikicoma wrote:


But WTF lets go to town and see if we can get this topic locked too.





Unfortunately, Lucas whine fests never get shut down... I think the moderators take sadistic pleasure in letting him go on and on through the whole Tiki Oasis season buildup year after year.

If you want to have this thread locked, then I suggest that you work into this conversation that old shithole The Bahooka, or its stupid fish problems again. Those topics are thread shut down magnet!

Buzzy Out!


You already did!


 
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AceExplorer
Grand Member (3 years)  

Joined: Apr 03, 2008
Posts: 999
From: Deep in the Jacksonville Florida jungle.
Posted: 2014-06-06 08:27 am   Permalink

Please, this is supposed to be a humor thread. We all like funny stuff.

Can we move the bickering to Facebook where it expires and goes away? And then look for, and share, some tiki bar humor here?
_________________


 
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Unga Bunga
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jun 06, 2003
Posts: 5824
From: CaliTikifornia
Posted: 2014-06-06 10:11 am   Permalink



 
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shovinoff
Tiki Centralite

Joined: May 14, 2014
Posts: 15
From: Riverside
Posted: 2014-06-12 09:18 am   Permalink

A Tiki kind of guy walks into a crowded bar with a two and a half foot tiki on his head. As he approaches the bar with all eyes in the place on him, the bartender says "what's with the tiki on your head?" The tiki guy said "I wear a tiki on my head EVERY Wednesday night!" The bartender says "this is Tuesday night." The tiki wearing mans eyes got really big as he looked around the room and said "Tuesday? Oh my god, I must look like a fuckin' idiot!"


 
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shovinoff
Tiki Centralite

Joined: May 14, 2014
Posts: 15
From: Riverside
Posted: 2014-06-12 09:22 am   Permalink

How do you open a tea lock?

 
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shovinoff
Tiki Centralite

Joined: May 14, 2014
Posts: 15
From: Riverside
Posted: 2014-06-12 09:27 am   Permalink

A tiki walks into a bar. Bartender says "Why the long face?"


 
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TikiAno
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Aug 07, 2012
Posts: 897
From: San Diego, CA
Posted: 2014-06-15 8:23 pm   Permalink

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Ku."

"Ku who?"

"I don't think you need any more cocktails. You're making bad tiki knock knock jokes."



 
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Fez Moai
Grand Member (first year)  

Joined: Dec 01, 2013
Posts: 276
From: Parts unknown
Posted: 2014-06-16 6:34 pm   Permalink

A tiki walks into a bar looking depressed. The bartender asks "Why are you sad", the tiki replies "I'm all a-Lono".

 
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tikilongbeach
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Aug 05, 2011
Posts: 1397
From: Long Beach, CA via Dallas, TX
Posted: 2014-07-29 08:48 am   Permalink


_________________
-Lori


 
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thePorpoise
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jan 23, 2011
Posts: 1259
From: Tampa Bay
Posted: 2014-07-29 3:44 pm   Permalink

HA! they left out mezcal, and tinctures...

 
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AceExplorer
Grand Member (3 years)  

Joined: Apr 03, 2008
Posts: 999
From: Deep in the Jacksonville Florida jungle.
Posted: 2014-07-31 09:33 am   Permalink

A guy walks into a tiki bar and notices a very attractive woman at the bar with a cocktail. When she notices him she starts waving an motioning him to join her.

He walks up to the bar and she says, “Hello.”

He’s rather taken aback because he just can’t remember where he knows her from. So he asks, “Do you know me?”

To which she replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”

Suddenly his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife. So he gathers his courage and nervously blurts out:

“Are you the hula-dancing stripper from the tiki party that I made love to on the pool table, with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my butt with a stick of wet celery?”

She looks into his eyes, squints, and says calmly, “No, I’m your son’s kindergarten teacher.”


 
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AceExplorer
Grand Member (3 years)  

Joined: Apr 03, 2008
Posts: 999
From: Deep in the Jacksonville Florida jungle.
Posted: 2014-08-06 10:20 am   Permalink

After a late night with your friends, partying at your home tiki bar, put all your trash into a single black Hefty bag and put it out on the curb looking something like this:



 
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