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Tiki Bar Humor
Kraken007
Tiki Centralite

Joined: Nov 18, 2015
Posts: 80
From: Las Vegas
Posted: 2016-06-21 08:15 am   Permalink

A Pirate walks into a bar..... The bartender looks at him and notices a steering wheel on the pirates crotch. The bartender says "Hey do you know you have a steering wheel on your crotch?" "Aye" the Pirate says...."It's drivin me nuts!"


(Sorry its just too hot at 8am..... and I need another cup of coffee)
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www.thelasvegasgentleman.blogspot.com


 
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AceExplorer
Grand Member (6 years)  

Joined: Apr 03, 2008
Posts: 2199
From: Deep in the Jacksonville Florida jungle.
Posted: 2016-06-24 06:55 am   Permalink



 
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AceExplorer
Grand Member (6 years)  

Joined: Apr 03, 2008
Posts: 2199
From: Deep in the Jacksonville Florida jungle.
Posted: 2016-06-26 07:00 am   Permalink

Look at this great deal on Appleton rum -- it just arrived at my local Costco!



So expensive that they only have a PHOTO and not a real bottle on display.

Nevertheless, I'm adding this to my Christmas wish list. This proves once again that I'm not hard to shop for.
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mikehooker
Grand Member (first year)  

Joined: Jul 17, 2014
Posts: 917
From: Austin
Posted: 2016-06-26 10:42 am   Permalink

Quote:

On 2016-06-26 07:00, AceExplorer wrote:
Look at this great deal on Appleton rum -- it just arrived at my local Costco!



So expensive that they only have a PHOTO and not a real bottle on display.

Nevertheless, I'm adding this to my Christmas wish list. This proves once again that I'm not hard to shop for.




Thread Derailment: Does you Costco carry other Appleton products? Mine only has Flor de Cana gold and Sailor Jerry or Capt Morgan and maybe Malibu or something artificially flavored. The prices are right, just wish they had stuff I was buying.


 
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AceExplorer
Grand Member (6 years)  

Joined: Apr 03, 2008
Posts: 2199
From: Deep in the Jacksonville Florida jungle.
Posted: 2016-06-26 7:25 pm   Permalink

Quote:

On 2016-06-26 10:42, mikehooker wrote:
Thread Derailment: Does you Costco carry other Appleton products? Mine only has Flor de Cana gold and Sailor Jerry or Capt Morgan and maybe Malibu or something artificially flavored. The prices are right, just wish they had stuff I was buying.



Derail, continued... haha!


No Appleton in my Costco either. Not even Flor de Cana. Possibly Sailor Jerry. Definitely a lot of the popular spirits like Crown Royal, Jack Daniels, Tito's & Ketel One Vodka, etc. They do carry a surprisingly decent selection of whiskies though --- recently they started carrying Eagle Rare bourbon for $25/bottle --- in addition to Woodford Reserve, Johnny Walker Black, and a few other good things. But for the most part, they stock the popular stuff which sells well, but with some "nuggets" sprinkled in for the more discriminating drinker.

I'm a fan of the Woodford and the Eagle Rare with the latter being incredibly good for the under $30 price point. It's not about the price with some of these higher-end spirits. There are some great spirits priced unbelievably low.





 
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AceExplorer
Grand Member (6 years)  

Joined: Apr 03, 2008
Posts: 2199
From: Deep in the Jacksonville Florida jungle.
Posted: 2016-06-27 1:26 pm   Permalink



 
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Haole Jim
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 17, 2009
Posts: 424
From: central coast metro Chicago
Posted: 2016-07-01 10:52 am   Permalink

A Moai walks into a Tiki bar, sits down and orders an umbrella drink.

The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"


 
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Tiki Drifter
Tiki Centralite

Joined: Jun 26, 2016
Posts: 57
From: San Diego, CA
Posted: 2016-07-04 7:07 pm   Permalink



 
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AceExplorer
Grand Member (6 years)  

Joined: Apr 03, 2008
Posts: 2199
From: Deep in the Jacksonville Florida jungle.
Posted: 2016-07-05 1:25 pm   Permalink


Our own Sven...



...found and copied here from another thread elsewhere in TC.


 
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AceExplorer
Grand Member (6 years)  

Joined: Apr 03, 2008
Posts: 2199
From: Deep in the Jacksonville Florida jungle.
Posted: 2016-07-08 09:32 am   Permalink

What do you call a very short *psychic* tiki bartender who escapes from a tiki prison?



Wait for it...



Wait some more...



---> a SMALL MEDIUM at LARGE.



Groaning has been proven to be very good for you. It makes you mix and drink cocktails to forget bad crap like this joke. You're welcome!


 
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AceExplorer
Grand Member (6 years)  

Joined: Apr 03, 2008
Posts: 2199
From: Deep in the Jacksonville Florida jungle.
Posted: 2016-09-12 10:18 am   Permalink


I was searching for a specific cocktail book online and came across this book.



When was the last time YOU were Tai'd up?


 
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AceExplorer
Grand Member (6 years)  

Joined: Apr 03, 2008
Posts: 2199
From: Deep in the Jacksonville Florida jungle.
Posted: 2016-09-15 09:27 am   Permalink



Edited to correct a sobriety-induced error in the text. Doh!

[ This Message was edited by: AceExplorer 2016-09-15 13:38 ]


 
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AceExplorer
Grand Member (6 years)  

Joined: Apr 03, 2008
Posts: 2199
From: Deep in the Jacksonville Florida jungle.
Posted: 2016-09-15 12:43 pm   Permalink



 
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Heath
Grand Member (first year)  

Joined: Dec 31, 2005
Posts: 673
From: Suburban San Diego (The Drawer)
Posted: 2016-09-15 12:51 pm   Permalink

Quote:

On 2016-09-15 09:27, AceExplorer wrote:




I think it should say bikinis expose about 90%of a woman's body.




 
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AceExplorer
Grand Member (6 years)  

Joined: Apr 03, 2008
Posts: 2199
From: Deep in the Jacksonville Florida jungle.
Posted: 2016-09-15 1:26 pm   Permalink

Quote:

On 2016-09-15 12:51, Heath wrote:
I think it should say bikinis expose about 90%of a woman's body.



Ooops, you're right... I composed that on the fly, and I was sober, so that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

I'll re-do that and replace the bad image with the good image. Thanks for calling that out. How embarrassing! But at least I can blame it all on my terribly sober condition.


 
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