Joined: Mar 27, 2002
From: Honolulu Lounge,Lewes, DE
|Posted: 2004-10-05 10:47 am  Permalink|
Did anyone else get one of these? Is it legit? I'm not sure I should risk it.
Sent: Tuesday, October 05, 2004 5:46 AM
Subject: TIKI PARTNERSHIP
I would respectfully request that you keep the contents of this e-mail confidential and respect the integrity of the information you come by as a result of this communication. I am contacting you independently of our usual channels and no one is informed of this matter. I would like to intimate you with certain facts that I believe would be of interest to you. In 2002, a foreign national came to me in the strictest of confidence to discuss the use of our private banking facilities to purchase of a treasure trove of Witco furnishings, Leeteg paintings, Oceanic Arts carvings, and Stephen Crane mugs amassed by the estate of the late Sunny Sund, first wife of the legendary Donn Beach aka Don the Beachcomber. The private party was quite animated over this discoverey and informed us that he had a financial portfolio of 500 thousand United States Dollars invested in an off-shore bank, which he wished to deposit with us for the purchase of this valuable tiki-related merchadise as an undisclosed third-party buyer. I was the officer assigned to his case, I made numerous suggestions in line with my duties as the de-facto chief operations officer of the private banking sector, especially given the volume of funds he wished to put into our bank and the rapidly appreciating value of the items he wished to purchase. We met on numerous occasions prior to any attempt to make his requested purchase. I encouraged him to consider various scenarios. The favored route in my advice to customers seeking the acquisition of highly-collectible antiques is to start by accessing e-bay auctions to determine the approximate current value of the item(s) in question, and to find a number of knowledgable buyers of similar merchandise that might be willing to act on our behalf in return for a commission. Based on my advice, we disbursed the money to various known-buyers of tiki collectibles deemed trustworthy by their grand membership in an Internet chat room called "Tiki-Central". In mid 2003, these buyers -- unknown to one another -- were instructed to contact the seller at pre-determined intervals and make general inquiries. They were to use various well-know euphamisms for tiki items when describing the kind of merchandise they were interested in buying. These included terms such as totem, eames-era, and ugly mug. The purchasing process we designed for this transaction worked flawlessly and the entire collection -- valued at more than 750,000 thousand United States Dollars -- was purchased for 375,000 United States Dollars. Our strategic involvement and orchestration of this transaction entitled us to our usual and customary fee of $20,000 plus $5,000 in fees paybale to the various tiki collectors who acted on our behalf. The buyer complained about the charges but later came around when I explained to him the complexities of the task recently accomplished and the tremendous profit-margin that could be realized on the resale of this merchandise at annual tiki culture events such as Tiki Oasis, The Hukilau or on on-line auction sites such as e-bay. After remitting to him by wire the unsued portion of his initial deposit -- 100,000 United States Dollars -- all that remained to complete the transaction was to ship the precious cache of furnishings, paintings and ceramics to an undisclosed off-shore location. I undertook all the processes and made sure I followed his precise instructions to the letter and had the items carefully packed and prepared for shipping. The buyer told me he would contact me prior to April 1, 2004 with the exact shipping address and to designate an agent to receive the merchandise on his behalf. This was the last communication we had. In June, we got a call from an asset management firm asking us for the where-abouts of a client that had received 100,000 United States Dollars by wire transfer for our bank. We were unable to comply with their request since the foreign national had not made known to us his location, or the address or agent to whom this vast tiki collection was to be delivered. In August we were informed their client had apparently lost his life in a boating accident sometime in early March. If you are familiar with private banking affairs, those who patronize our services usually prefer anonymity, but also some levels of detachment from conventional processes. In his bio-data form, he listed no next of kin. In the field of private banking, opening an account with us means no one will know of its existence, accounts are rarely held under a name; depositors use numbers and codes to make the accounts anonymous. This bank also gives the choice to depositors of having their mail sent to them or held at the bank itself, ensuring that there are no traces of the account and as I said, rarely do they nominate next of kin. Private banking clients apart from not nominating next of kin also usually in most cases leave wills in our care, in this case, our client died without specific instructions as to survivorship with our bank. I am the only party to know the full details of this transaction, the whereabouts of the unclaimed collection of tiki treasures and am empowered as the private banking officer assigned to this case to dispose of the items in our care.
My proposal; I am prepared to place you in a position to receive this vast collection of tiki culture memorabilia -- which I assure you could be used to fully-furnish several large tiki-related restaurant and/or bar businesses -- to you as a knowledable buyer of tiki merchandise, and a non-partipant in initial purchasing scheme transacted by our bank. Upon receipt of 10,000 United States dollars, I am prepared to ship the entire collection to any location within the continental United States you require. I would have gone ahead and taken delivery of the merchandise myself for re-sale to tiki collectors, however, this would draw a straight line to me and my involvement in the transaction exposing me to potential identification by participants in the original transaction. I can assure you that I can have the long-lost treasure trove of Ms. Sunny Sund deivered to you within a few days. I will simply inform the bank of the final closing of the file relating to this matter and I will then officially communicate with the warehousing and shipping firm your delivery location. With these two things: all is done.
If you find yourself able to work with me, contact me through the provided email account. If you give me positive signals, I will initiate this process towards a successful conclusion. I do not want any direct official link between you and me. My official lines are not secure lines as they are periodically monitored to assess our level of customer care in line with our Total Quality Management Policy. I strongly believe that you would not betray my confidence in you. Please send your response to firstname.lastname@example.org. If we can be of one accord, we should plan a meeting, soon. I await your response.
Mainstream? Hell, they sell tiki at Target.
[ This Message was edited by: Kailuageoff on 2004-10-05 15:15 ]
Joined: Aug 10, 2004
From: Redondo Beach, CA
|Posted: 2004-10-05 11:06 am  Permalink|
Yeah, I think we all have received this email. I've already sent my money. Had to tap into my retirement account but "what the heigh!"
I say go for it!
Joined: Jul 29, 2004
|Posted: 2004-10-05 11:08 am  Permalink|
Hi, it was good to meet you at hukilau. We get these kind of emails all the time. Although, nothing tiki related so far. It sounds like the typical hoax to me. Are you sure that it's not a joke from someone who knows you?
Joined: Jun 03, 2002
From: Huntington Beach, California
|Posted: 2004-10-05 11:20 am  Permalink|
Kailuageoff, this is just another twist of those scam emails that we all have been sent at one time or another. The person who (re)wrote this is somewhat knowledgeable about tiki (at least knowing key-word names). Don't waste your time.
By the way, the letter says "If you give me positive signals, I will initiate this process towards a successful conclusion." Just ask yourself...
Question: What would Wayne's answer be?
Answer: see below
Grand Member (first year)
Joined: Feb 18, 2003
From: Bay Area
|Posted: 2004-10-05 11:54 am  Permalink|
I Partnered with a Tiki just last night and I've already lost 20 pounds! Plus, my thighs have never been sleeker, and my bank account has enlarged to twice its size overnight! The rash, they say, is only temporary.
*Disclaimer: Sarcasm at use.
Joined: Mar 27, 2002
From: Honolulu Lounge,Lewes, DE
|Posted: 2004-10-05 12:02 pm  Permalink|
On 2004-10-05 11:20, SugarCaddyDaddy wrote:
Question: What would Wayne's answer be?
Answer: see below
Joined: Mar 24, 2002
From: Ocean Beach, San Francisco
|Posted: 2004-10-05 12:22 pm  Permalink|
> DEAR SIR/MADAM,
> THIS IS A PERSONAL EMAIL T0 YOU ONLY. I AM THE SON
> OF SPAM SPADE, THE FORMER LOAN OFFICER OF NIGERIA,
> WHO WAS KILLED BY A RUSSIAN LADY WHO WANTS TO MEET
> YOU. HIS MORTGAGE RATES WERE SUPERB, BUT HIS PENIS
> WAS TOO SHORT, SO HE ORDERED 60,000,000 VIAGRA PILLS
> AND BEFORE HE COULD TAKE THEM HE WAS ASSASINATED BY
> 5 MILLION EMAIL ADDRESSES AT NO COST TO YOU. NOW I
> HAVE THESE 60 MILLION VIAGRA PILLS AND SEEK YOUR
> HELP IN TRANSFERING THEM TO YOUR ACCOUNT.
> I AM USING THIS MEDIUM T0 REACH YOU. HOWEVER I HAVE
> NO OTHER CHOICE AND THIS IS STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL,
> YOUR CO-OPERATION IS NECESSARY. YOUR RESUME WAS
> SELECTED AS BEING HIGHLY QUALIFIED, BUT THIS IS NOT
> SPAM! THIS IS FREEDOM FROM DEBT - CUT YOUR MORTGAGE
> IN HALF WITH OUR AMAZING REMOTE-CONTROL PASTA POT.
> THIS OFFER IS FREE. YOU HAVE NO OBLIGATION TO DELETE
> IT AT ANY TIME.
> Y0UR PILLS ARE BEING HELD IN AN INEXPENSIVE DIGITAL
> CABLE DESCRAMBLER BOX GUARDED BY TEENY TITS CARRYING
> EXPLOSIVE LOADS. THE LOWEST RATES ARE LOCKED IN,
> ALONG WITH YOUR FREE GIFT. THESE PILLS MUST BE
> TRANSFERED TO YOUR ACCOUNT USING A HAND-HELD
> ORGANIZER WHICH MAY BE OBTAINED FROM A FREE
> GOVERNMENT-AUCTION WEB SITE. BY VIEWING PHOTOS OF
> SINGLES IN YOUR AREA, INCLUDING HORNY WIVES, YOU CAN
> LOOK YOUNGER, LOSE WEIGHT, AND INCREASE YOUR STAMINA
> WHILE DRIVING PRE-QUALIFIED CUSTOMERS TO YOUR
> MULTILEVEL PROGRAM AND MAKE OVER $4000 PER MONTH
> GUARANTEED. THESE PILLS WILL NOT ONLY MAKE YOU LOOK
> 3" LONGER, THEY WILL GET RID OF YOUR FLEAS AND TICKS
> FOR GOOD! SIMPLY COPY ANY DVD TO YOUR FREE INTERNET
> DOMAIN AND BEGIN YOUR ANTI-AGING PROGRAM TODAY.
> THE PLAN IS SIMPLE. Y0U WILL USE NORTON SYSTEMWORKS
> (A $300 VALUE FOR ONLY $38.95) TO PURCHASE 37
> MILLION SHARES OF TONER CORP STOCK. THEN YOU WILL
> MEET ME AT THE WORLD'S SMALLEST DIGITAL CAMERA WITH
> $30,000 IN CORAL CALCIUM. WARNING: DO NOT TAKE ANY
> HUMAN GROWTH HORMONE OR YOU WILL NOT QUALIFY FOR
> YOUR FREE GIFT. ONCE YOU RECONNECT WITH YOUR
> HIGH-SCHOOL FRIENDS, YOUR FREE CREDIT REPORT WILL BE
> SENT. WITH THIS REPORT, YOU CAN BUILD YOUR OWN
> ONLINE CASINO. ONCE INSIDE THE CASINO, YOU WILL
> SUBSCRIBE TO KARA'S FREE FAN CLUB, WHERE YOU WILL BE
> ENTERED IN A DRAWING TO PROTECT YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM.
> DO NOT FAIL TO DO THIS, OR I WILL REDUCE THE SIZE OF
> YOUR PENIS BY THREE INCHES! KARA'S WEB SITE WILL POP
> UP 6,000 PAGES, ALL OF WHICH YOU WILL HAVE TO CLOSE
> BY CLICKING THEM. FOR EACH ONE YOU CLICK, TWO MORE
> WILL APPEAR. AFTER YOU COMPLETE YOUR ONLINE DEGREE
> (IN 8 MONTHS OR LESS), I WILL SEND YOU A HOT AMATEUR
> MP3 THAT WILL CONSOLIDATE YOUR DEBT USING ONLINE
> AUCTIONS. NOT EVEN CNN, CBS, ABC, NBC, OR OPRAH WILL
> KNOW OUR SECRET!
> N0W Y0U WILL BE READY TO RECEIVE THE PILLS. YOU WILL
> USE THE AUCTION SITE TO FIRE YOUR BOSS AND CLAIM
> YOUR PORTABLE DVD PLAYER FROM THE SECRET
> ANTI-WRINKLE AGENT. NEXT, BOOST YOUR CELLULAR
> RECEPTION AND DRIVE OUR TEENY LOLITAS WILD WITH
> HUMAN PHEROMONES MADE FROM PRE-OWNED INKJET
> CARTRIDGES. YOU WILL TRADE THE PHEROMONES FOR A
> SINGLE GEORGE FOREMAN GRILL FILLED WITH A FREE
> THIRTY-DAY SUPPLY, WHICH WILL ENLARGE YOUR PACKAGE
> EVEN FURTHER. THE HERBAL INGREDIENTS IN THIS PACKAGE
> WILL INCREASE YOUR REVENUE PROJECTIONS BY 3" AND
> CLEAN THE INNER WALLS OF YOUR INTESTINES. REMEMBER,
> THIS IS NOT A SLEEP REMEDY, THIS AMAZING PRODUCT
> TARGETS THE BACTERIA THAT ACTUALLY CAUSE SNORING!
> 0UR PSYCHICS ARE STANDING BY TO TAKE YOUR ORDER.
> GIVE THEM YOUR CREDIT CARD NUMBER AND WAIT FOR THE
> BEEP. YOU WILL BE GIVEN THE ULTIMATE SCIENTIFIC
> BREAKTHROUGH AND A FREE CREDIT CHECK. DEPOSIT THIS
> CHECK IN A PRE-APPROVED ACCOUNT, AND YOU WILL TAKE
> HOME 40% OF THE PILLS.
> THIS IS A VERY SIMPLE TRANSACTION. THE RESULTS ARE
> GUARANTEED. THIS IS A COMPLETELY SECURE INVESTMENT.
> I HOPE YOU WILL HELP ME AND MY FAMILY AS WE ARE IN
> DESPERATE NEED. PLEASE REPLY ASAP.
> S0N OF SPAM
> P.S., IF YOU WANT TO BE REMOVED FROM THIS MAILING
> LIST, SIMPLY GO TO www.UNSUBSCRIBE.COM
Joined: Oct 01, 2003
From: Columbus, Ohiya
|Posted: 2004-10-05 12:35 pm  Permalink|
but i want the smokeless tiki ashtray...
Joined: Mar 29, 2002
|Posted: 2004-10-05 4:27 pm  Permalink|
And it's off to Beyond Tiki we go!