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Tiki Central Forums » » Bilge » » If we're not supposed to eat people, why are they made out of meat? (the Cannibal Thread)
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If we're not supposed to eat people, why are they made out of meat? (the Cannibal Thread)
alohabros
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Feb 04, 2004
Posts: 533
From: westernus
Posted: 2005-10-28 07:21 am   Permalink

... two cannibals were eating a clown. one said to the other, "does this taste funny to you?"...

 
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alohabros
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Feb 04, 2004
Posts: 533
From: westernus
Posted: 2005-10-28 07:29 am   Permalink

... two cannibals were eating dinner. one said, "i really hate my sister."
the other said, "well, just eat the noodles."


 
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martiki
Official Mixologist

Joined: Mar 29, 2002
Posts: 3058
From: http://www.smugglerscovesf.com
Posted: 2005-10-28 08:17 am   Permalink

http://www.tikiroom.com/tikicentral/bb/viewtopic.php?topic=17055&forum=1&0

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HelloTiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 23, 2005
Posts: 440
From: Kailua, Hawaii
Posted: 2008-03-14 12:38 am   Permalink

Why did Jeffrey Dahmer keep a blender on his front porch?
He liked to greet everyone with a hand shake.




 
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lucas vigor
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 12, 2004
Posts: 3985
From: SOCAL
Posted: 2008-03-14 08:59 am   Permalink

Two missionaries were traveling trough the jungle, and got caught by the local tribe. The village elder explained "You have tresspassed on our most sacred and holy burial ground. Now you must pay the price. The ancient penalty was known as "the choice". Either death, or "bunga bunga". The tribal elder pointed at the first missionary and said "choose!". The first missionary said "death is so final, and absolute, so I choose Bunga bunga, whatever that is". The elder then said " he has chosen!". He gave a command, and 4 of the biggest guys ran over, tied the missionary to a stake and proceeded to brutally rape him over and over, until he collapsed in a heap, sobbing and bleeding from the rectum. Now, the village elder points at the other missionary and says "choose". The second missionary looked at his falled comrade, and said "I have SEEN Bunga Bunga, and fuggedaboudit! I choose death!!". The village elder smiled and said "A wise choice my friend, however, according to our custom we have a tradtional way we administer the death penalty here". He looked at the missionary and said "Death.....



By BUNGA BUNGA!!!!!!!"


 
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bb moondog
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Apr 18, 2006
Posts: 492
From: Gilbert AZ
Posted: 2008-03-14 09:02 am   Permalink

WOW..i had forgotten that joke ..i heard that in college..thati s an absolute CLASSIC.. THANK YOU!!!
_________________
ahuka a'la a'la palu

BB MoondoggyO
sweatin' to Quiet Village in AZ


 
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HelloTiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 23, 2005
Posts: 440
From: Kailua, Hawaii
Posted: 2008-03-14 11:44 am   Permalink

“I love children. Especially when they’re well cooked”
-W.C. Fields.
Comic Actor and suspected Cannibal



 
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HelloTiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 23, 2005
Posts: 440
From: Kailua, Hawaii
Posted: 2008-03-17 8:57 pm   Permalink

"I never met a man I didn't like".
---Will Rogers
( American humorist, movie star, suspected cannibal)


 
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Sophista-tiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Sep 13, 2005
Posts: 1726
From: Seattle WA
Posted: 2008-05-06 07:16 am   Permalink

I always find that the subject of canibalism really takes the edge off a potentialy explosive conversation about politics
_________________


 
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bigtikidude
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Aug 10, 2004
Posts: 8927
From: Anaheim,Ca.
Posted: 2008-05-06 12:16 pm   Permalink

have been watching tons of those BBQ shows on the food Network recently.
I recorded one, and showed it to My Buddy JonPaul, asd he looks over at me and says where do we get BBQ longpig?


Jeff(bigtikidude)


 
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Hakalugi
Site Administrator

Joined: Aug 10, 2004
Posts: 3084
From: Redondo Beach, CA
Posted: 2009-11-15 11:34 am   Permalink

More cannibals in the news.
11/14/2009


Kebab diners in Russia get murder shock




Russian police are investigating a case of cannibalism involving three homeless men and a kebab shop. The three men are suspected of killing a man, eating part of his body and the selling other parts to a kebab shop. Police statements have revealed the men were unhappy with the victim and had allegedly targeted him because of their hostility. The men, from the city of Perm, some 1,400 kilometres east of Moscow have been charged with the murder of a 25-year-old victim. The body of the man was found in the forest in Perm and was found to have been attacked with knives and a hammer. The corpse was dismembered. Part of it was eaten and part was also sold to a kebab and pie kiosk, according to police.
The kebab shop was not identified.



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Chip and Andy
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 13, 2004
Posts: 2211
From: Corner table, Molokai Lounge, Mai-Kai.
Posted: 2009-11-15 11:53 am   Permalink

In some parts of the world they are unfortunate homeless people. In other parts, they are a lovely kebab with a nice curry sauce.
_________________


 
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Hakalugi
Site Administrator

Joined: Aug 10, 2004
Posts: 3084
From: Redondo Beach, CA
Posted: 2009-11-15 12:47 pm   Permalink

I think Chip and Andy are suggesting a possible solution to world hunger!!


Meanwhile, those wacky Russians are at it again:

_____________

Russian cannibal who ate mother has sentence reduced 'because he was hungry'

A Russian cannibal who killed and ate parts of his own mother has had his prison sentence reduced by nine months after a court accepted he resorted to cannibalism out of hunger rather than preference.


Sergei Gavrilov admitted he had used parts of his murdered mother's legs to make soup and pasta for weeks on end. But he argued he was driven to the desperate act because he had ran out of money and was starving.

"I did not like the flesh," he told investigators. "It was too fatty."

A court in southern Russia accepted his explanation and ruled that the unemployed 27 year-old had therefore not wantonly defiled his mother's own corpse. It did find him guilty of murder, however, and sentenced him to fourteen years and three months in prison, according to Russian news agency Interfax.

That is nine months less than the standard 15-year sentence for such a crime. Mr Gavrilov got off more lightly because of his confession and because the judge believed he had turned to cannibalism out of hunger rather than preference.

Mr Gavrilov said he had killed his 55 year-old mother Lyubov last January after she refused to hand over her pension. He wanted to spend the money on a drinking and gambling binge.

Angered by her refusal, he hit her on the head with a brick and strangled her with an electric cord before dumping her lifeless body on the balcony.

It was only two weeks later after he had spent all her money that he discovered that her body had frozen on the balcony and decided to begin slicing bits of flesh from her legs to keep his hunger pangs at bay.


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bigtikidude
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Aug 10, 2004
Posts: 8927
From: Anaheim,Ca.
Posted: 2009-11-15 7:07 pm   Permalink

wow, Nice.



 
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HelloTiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 23, 2005
Posts: 440
From: Kailua, Hawaii
Posted: 2009-11-16 7:50 pm   Permalink

The man arrested recently in Ohio(?)n with the bodies of 11 prostitutes in his home apparently offered free BBQ to his neighbors on a regular basis.

 
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