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Tiki Central Forums Bilge Ah, sweet childhood memories...
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Ah, sweet childhood memories...
bananabobs
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Joined: Feb 16, 2003
Posts: 824
Posted: 2005-03-03 5:48 pm   Permalink

The old man hit the booze hard and slept in the buff, one night he heard a noise out at the garage, picked up his 38, stepped out on the back porch and unleashed a drunken verbal assult on the who-go-there, The neighbors called the police who found my Dad, naked on the back porch with a 38 and the door locked behind him. You would have thought he would either stop drinking or get some PJ's but...
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Kailuageoff
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Mar 27, 2002
Posts: 1504
From: Honolulu Lounge,Lewes, DE
Posted: 2005-03-08 12:25 pm   Permalink

There is no way stories about my parents escapades could ever top my own. For example, the night a vietnam vet who was walking across america to call attention to the plight of POWs came to my birthday party at my house in Alexandria, Va with a girl friend of mine and was accused of stealing $100 out of someone's wallet, and was then chased by car to the Viet Nam Veterans Memorial in DC, where he was threatened with death if he didn't turn over the money. Afterwards we went back to my place where people were variously throwing up, abusing their girl friend, loudly copulating in our bathroom or screaming to the neighborhood they needed to buy some cocaine, now! It was at that point, I decided I needed a different circle of friends.

 
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Tiki-bot
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jun 24, 2002
Posts: 1345
Posted: 2005-03-08 1:34 pm   Permalink

Quote:

On 2005-03-02 18:29, kctiki wrote:
When that TV ad for the double bladed razor came out, showing how the first blade pulls back the hair, & the 2nd blade cuts it short before it has time to pop back into place...Dad figured it would work the same way mowing the lawn.



A couple days ago I saw a preview for the evening "news" that said something like, "Lawnmower manufacturer takes a tip from double-edge razor technology" and they showed the mower, but I couldn't see the second blade.
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Atomic Cocktail
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jun 25, 2002
Posts: 925
From: Land O' The Next Big One-L.A.
Posted: 2005-03-09 9:08 pm   Permalink

Oh Bong! There are just too many memories for this little site. One does stand out (though it's not one of my parents-I'm not sure I can post any of those memories. I must consult the family): Late 1960's, Memorial Day or Fourth of July party. Our whole block participated in gigantic backyard bar-b-q. It was night and us kids were in "Helen Wheels" (the local Holy-Roller) back yard watching the hijinks. Music was blaring and folks were-a-drinking (and had been all day). My friend Malcolm's mom was completely boozed up and causing a ruckus at on of the picnic tables. Not getting enough attention she climbed on the table and started dancing artistically. She moved back and forth along the table with her invisible partner,

Well, at one point she went too close to the edge, tipping the table and shooting herself across the yard (I SWEAR!) nearly 15 feet!

The entire crowd let out a burst of laughter. Ol' Audrey, got up, brushed herself off, lit another cig and hit the bar to refill her now empty cup.

For some odd reason no one ever spoke of that event after that.
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Alnshely
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Joined: Mar 24, 2002
Posts: 974
From: Oceanside CA
Posted: 2005-03-09 9:35 pm   Permalink

When I was two years old, I woke up up about 5:00 AM and escaped the bondage of my crib. My parents had had a bender the night before and party carnage was everywhere. I drank all the half empty beers, hopefully avoiding the ones with cigarettes. After I was good and plastered I ate a box of garlic croutons. My folks said I was totally wasted and smelled like foster Brookes.
Mahalo,
Al


 
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Jungle Trader
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Joined: Jan 04, 2003
Posts: 3735
From: Trader's Jungle Outpost, Turlock, Ca.
Posted: 2005-03-10 07:11 am   Permalink

Quote:

On 2005-03-09 21:35, Alnshely wrote:
When I was two years old, I woke up up about 5:00 AM and escaped the bondage of my crib. My parents had had a bender the night before and party carnage was everywhere. I drank all the half empty beers, hopefully avoiding the ones with cigarettes. After I was good and plastered I ate a box of garlic croutons. My folks said I was totally wasted and smelled like foster Brookes.
Mahalo,
Al



AAUUWWEE, you were only a baby. I WOULD DIE if I saw a baby in that condition.


 
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Jungle Trader
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Joined: Jan 04, 2003
Posts: 3735
From: Trader's Jungle Outpost, Turlock, Ca.
Posted: 2005-03-10 07:48 am   Permalink

Alright.
During a few parties my dad would get out the 16mm movie cam. He would always zoom in on the tail end of various dancing ladies. When we played the film for the entire family my mother would scream out his first and last name. This caused incredible grief and suffering thruout my childhood and to this day I fear I will forever be haunted by those images.

edited to embellish the fear part



[ This Message was edited by: Jungle Trader on 2005-03-10 16:38 ]


 
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kctiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Apr 22, 2003
Posts: 439
From: Kansas City
Posted: 2005-03-13 08:34 am   Permalink

Quote:

On 2005-03-08 13:34, Tiki-bot wrote:

A couple days ago I saw a preview for the evening "news" that said something like, "Lawnmower manufacturer takes a tip from double-edge razor technology" and they showed the mower, but I couldn't see the second blade.




Well there you go, drunk or sober, Pops was a genius ahead of his time.

He only enjoyed one year of retirement before he keeled over on his treadmill. He spent much of that year using a miniature sewing machine to sew rip-stop nylon patches into the crotch of all his pants. Undoubtedly that will be the wave of the future.


 
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