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Zombie Alert!
Satan's Sin
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jun 13, 2004
Posts: 729
From: Imperial Beach, CA
Posted: 2005-05-25 2:17 pm   Permalink

Found this in Lotta Livin' but I figured there'd be a few fans here:


Monday, May 23, 2005
Shaken up by a burglary attempt: A Keene man tells of strange ordeal

Sentinel Staff

Barking dogs and a gunshot weren’t enough to scare off a man who used a shovel to try to force his way into a Keene house Saturday night, the homeowner said.

Travis Saulnier, 26, of 173 Washington St., Keene, was arrested Saturday on a slew of charges. He is accused of attempting to break into the house at 342 Chesterfield Road Saturday at about 10:15 p.m.

Police allege they found Saulnier trying to pry open a door with a shovel. Cpl Eliezer Rivera said Saulnier refused to drop the shovel when asked to by police.

“He’s lucky he’s alive today,” said homeowner Dale J. Peloquin, 40, who said he fended off the would-be burglar Saturday night before police arrived.

“I just keep thinking what would have happened if he had gotten in the house with that shovel? What would he have done? I would have had no choice but to end it right there.”

Peloquin said he was getting ready for bed when he heard his dogs barking and looked outside to see what the problem was.

He said he noticed someone wandering onto his property and thought maybe the man had been drinking or had been in an accident and needed help. The house is located near Route 9 in a remote part of Keene.

“He started making these zombie-like noises at the top of his lungs,” Peloquin said.

“He was groaning and grunting, but really really loud, so I hollered out to him, and he just kept making these noises. I figured he was under the influence of something. So, I hollered out to him again to get off my property. That’s when he decided he was going to try to come in my house.”

Peloquin alleges Saulnier began bouncing himself off the glass sliding-door at the back of his house.

“I just stood there on the other side of the slider in disbelief, wondering if this was really happening,” he said.

Tammy L. Kenyon, 38, who also owns the house, was on the phone with police as Saulnier continued to hurl himself and other objects at the glass door, Peloquin said.

Saulnier then gave up on the back door and went around to a front sliding door. He again tried to get in, gave up, went to the front porch and picked up a shovel, Peloquin said.

That’s when Peloquin went for his gun, he said.

“He smashed the shovel through the window next to my door and started cleaning out the glass in the frame like he was going to come in,” Peloquin said.

“I cocked my gun and squeezed off a warning shot — blew a chunk right out of the siding in my house. I told him the next one was his. He was going to eat it. It didn’t even phase him. He just kept pounding on the door.”

The intruder started using the shovel to bash in the front door.

Peloquin braced himself against the door as the intruder continued to beat it down. This seemed to go on forever, Peloquin said.

Then the door jam gave way.

“Just then the police showed up,” Peloquin said. “Next thing I know there’s cops all over my front lawn with AR-15 assault rifles pointed at him.

“He’s lucky, because I had just reached decision time as to what would happen if he got in,” Peloquin said.

Even as police arrested Saulnier he seemed to be unaware of what was happening, Peloquin said.

“He was still making those noises; he was a total freak show,” Peloquin said.

He was taken to the Cheshire County jail in Westmoreland, where he has been held for lack of $3,000 cash bail.

Charges against Saulnier include: attempt to commit burglary, trespassing, possession of burglary tools, possession of marijuana, resisting arrest, loitering and criminal mischief.

He was scheduled to be arraigned today in Keene District Court.

This morning, Peloquin said he and Kenyon were still coming to terms with what happened.

“We’re both pretty shook up today,” Peloquin said. “It was quite an ordeal.

“Crime in our area is next to nothing, unacceptable is not a strong enough word for what happened. The more I think about this the more wound up I get. ... It just goes to show you what can happen to you in just a matter of minutes.”

Now take this test:


I, of course, scored aces on it. But then, I've been preparing for this MY WHOLE LIFE.Back to top


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Doctor Z
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Aug 01, 2002
Posts: 1617
From: The Hale Moana Lounge, Torrance, CA
Posted: 2005-05-25 4:44 pm   Permalink

Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack

1. Organize before they rise!
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don’t need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.
10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on.

The Zombie Survival Guide.
Purveyor of
Doctor Z’s 'Not-Quite-Patented' Hangover Remedy
“Sworn BY, not sworn AT”
Ask for it by name!

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Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jun 14, 2002
Posts: 1219
Posted: 2005-05-25 5:57 pm   Permalink

Official Survivor. I'm going to the Winchester!

[ This Message was edited by: turbogod on 2005-05-25 20:39 ]

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Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jan 21, 2004
Posts: 1513
From: calgary
Posted: 2005-05-25 6:23 pm   Permalink

70% official survivor.

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Tiki Socialite

Joined: Oct 17, 2004
Posts: 483
Posted: 2005-05-25 6:42 pm   Permalink

I was 70% too. Not too shabby for a female. Usually all we do is in a Zombie attack is scream and freeze in place, and hope a macho dude comes along in time to save us. ha ha.
I have to admit though when I saw the post title I was thinking about the drink....
mmmmmmmmmm zommmmbiesssss.....

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Feelin' Zombified
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 15, 2003
Posts: 1338
From: The Exotic Shores of Lake St. Clair
Posted: 2005-05-25 6:45 pm   Permalink

Naive Fools!

there ARE NO survivors!


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Tiki Socialite

Joined: Nov 29, 2002
Posts: 1794
From: San Diego, CA
Posted: 2005-05-25 6:46 pm   Permalink

Zombies hate fire. Keep some handy.

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Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 21, 2003
Posts: 979
From: Like Oh My Gawd..San Fernando Valley
Posted: 2005-05-25 6:51 pm   Permalink

Holy Crap! Zombies! My ultimate nightmare! I saw Dawn of the Dead years ago and scared the living daylight out of me. I usually avoid zombie movies like the plague as I
tend to have nightmares for days or weeks.

I've had nightmares about driving down the 405 and a frickin' zombie hand will reach out from the floor boards and grab my feet.
Nightmares about zombies under my bed. Zombies in my backyard. Zombie trying to break their way into my house. Even a nightmare of trying to save my little brother from zombies (the stupid ass ventured outside, after dark and got locked out--and I had to go find and save him). I've had dreams about waking up next to a lesbian zombie.

The moaning, the jacked-up, slow moving, stumbling walk....ZOMBIES FREAK ME OUT!
They walk so slow--yet they always catch you!
Their mouths are always gaping open.

Just great man, now I'm thinking about frickin' zombies.

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Satan's Sin
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jun 13, 2004
Posts: 729
From: Imperial Beach, CA
Posted: 2005-05-25 6:58 pm   Permalink

CheekyGirl --

Have no fear. Simply remember the immortal words of the redneck Sheriff in Night of the Living Dead:

"Kill the brain, kill the ghoul."

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Tiki Socialite

Joined: Sep 14, 2004
Posts: 4284
From: Sydney, Australia
Posted: 2005-05-25 7:50 pm   Permalink

74%! Cheeky girl apparently you better hang around me...

"There, pretty as a picture. Arggh! Zombies! There, pretty as a picture" - Groundskeeper Willie finishes the garden, watches a zombie climb out, then fixes up the garden.

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Tiki Socialite

Joined: Aug 01, 2004
Posts: 530
From: Enchanted Bay Area, CA
Posted: 2005-05-25 8:24 pm   Permalink

I figure I'll just try to decapitate them with old LP's I'm not too fond of a'la "Shawn of the Dead" until the zombies are arrested for "criminal mischief".

Zombies with bail money... there's something new to worry about.

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Tiki Socialite

Joined: Mar 31, 2002
Posts: 1528
From: MD
Posted: 2005-05-25 9:19 pm   Permalink

81% - I'd kick some serious zombie ass!!! You think Dwayne Jones did a decent job keeping the zombies at bay? You ain't seen me in action!

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Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jun 03, 2002
Posts: 488
From: The fly-over states
Posted: 2005-05-25 10:17 pm   Permalink


On 2005-05-25 18:51, CheekyGirl wrote:
I've had dreams about waking up next to a lesbian zombie.

This is a BAD thing?
Check out Tiki Quest at
Tiki Central members get a discount and a special premium!

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Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 14, 2002
Posts: 1290
From: Bangkok
Posted: 2005-05-26 04:58 am   Permalink


On 2005-05-25 18:51, CheekyGirl wrote:
Holy Crap! Zombies! My ultimate nightmare!

Great I'm not alone, i think everyone has their ultimate monster, my wife is reduced to tears by "Frankenstein" after a childhood meeting at Universal studios gone wrong.
With me its Zombies, I'm now banned from watching zombie flicks after i acted out in my sleep twisting a zombies head around and then blowing its brains out with my 9mm, unfortunatly the zombie was my wife (luckily the 9mm was my finger. She was not impressed.

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Grand Member (first year)  

Joined: Feb 18, 2003
Posts: 893
From: Bay Area
Posted: 2005-05-26 10:09 am   Permalink

Hilarious! I love it~
70% survivor - my score I assume would be higher if I knew anyone capable enough to go target shooting with... (any takers in the Bay Area, let me know!)

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