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Tiki Central Forums Bilge dum joke
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dum joke
john
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 05, 2005
Posts: 345
From: Chandler, Arizona
Posted: 2005-07-11 01:10 am   Permalink

this pirate walks into a bar, he's got a steering wheel down the front of his pants. the bartender looks at him an goes whats with the steering wheel...the pirate replies, arrgh it drivin me nuts!



[ This Message was edited by: john 2005-07-12 06:14 ]


 
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stuff-o-rama
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Nov 20, 2003
Posts: 751
From: Central Coast of California
Posted: 2005-07-11 9:01 pm   Permalink

A bear walks into a bar an says to the bar tender, "I would like a bourbon and...... a coke."

The bar tender says "What's up with the big pause?"

The bear said "I've had them all my life"

More can be found
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Tikiwahine
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Apr 09, 2003
Posts: 3288
From: Victoria, BC
Posted: 2005-07-11 9:06 pm   Permalink

What's brown and sticky?

-------------------

A stick


 
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john
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 05, 2005
Posts: 345
From: Chandler, Arizona
Posted: 2005-07-12 06:13 am   Permalink

what?

a skeleton walks into a bar, the bartender goes "what can i get for you?"-the skeleton says "a beer and a mop"





[ This Message was edited by: john 2005-07-12 06:14 ]


 
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Riptide
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jan 12, 2005
Posts: 379
From: Garden Grove, CA
Posted: 2005-07-19 10:43 am   Permalink

A guy walks into a bar wearing nothing but GLAD Cling Wrap. The bartender says, "Sir, clearly I can see your nuts."

 
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Tiki Matt
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 06, 2004
Posts: 924
From: North O.C.
Posted: 2005-07-19 1:00 pm   Permalink

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?"

 
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Tikiwahine
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Apr 09, 2003
Posts: 3288
From: Victoria, BC
Posted: 2005-07-19 1:56 pm   Permalink

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"

"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."

The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."

"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."

"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."

"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."

"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."

"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!"

"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."


 
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8FT Tiki
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Joined: Nov 30, 2003
Posts: 1227
From: Kansas City, MO
Posted: 2005-07-19 3:51 pm   Permalink

A mushroom and a carrot walk into a bar. The bartender says to the carrot " Hey, you can stay but your buddy has got to go."
The carrot replies "Aw come on man let him stay he's really a 'fun guy'"
_________________
I once was lost.....but now I'm found.....


 
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john
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 05, 2005
Posts: 345
From: Chandler, Arizona
Posted: 2005-07-19 11:43 pm   Permalink

a grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender goes " i've got a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies...you've got a drink named carl?
_________________

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saxotica
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 03, 2005
Posts: 213
Posted: 2005-07-20 3:33 pm   Permalink

Old guy says to his friend "I just got a new hearing aid. It's the finest hearing aid money can buy". His friend says "Yeah? What kind is it?" Old guy glances at his watch..."quarter till three."

 
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Rum Demon
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jun 20, 2005
Posts: 254
From: Portland, Oregon
Posted: 2005-07-21 10:40 am   Permalink

There's a new pirate movie coming out. It's rated aRrrrrr.

What's a pirate's favorite TV show? E.aR.rrrrr

What's a pirate's favorite food? Spaghetti!


 
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MachTiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Feb 16, 2004
Posts: 1364
From: San Diego, CA
Posted: 2005-07-21 10:48 am   Permalink

Q: What has 8 arms and 8 legs?

A: 8 Pirates!


 
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Chongolio
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Joined: Oct 02, 2002
Posts: 2765
From: The Coast of Kauai
Posted: 2005-07-21 3:59 pm   Permalink

A dude walks in to the psychiatrist's office sayin' " I am a wig-wam. I am a teepee" over and over.
The doctor tells him...."relax your two tents. (to tense)


Chongolio
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john
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 05, 2005
Posts: 345
From: Chandler, Arizona
Posted: 2005-07-22 12:06 am   Permalink

a man walks into a bar....ouch!

 
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MachTiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Feb 16, 2004
Posts: 1364
From: San Diego, CA
Posted: 2005-07-22 10:54 am   Permalink

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and hears a small voice say, "You look nice today." A few minutes later he again hears a small voice, "That's a nice shirt." The guy asks the bartender, "Who is that?" The bartender says, "Those are the peanuts. They're complimentary!"

A guy walks into a bar and there is a horse behind the bar serving drinks. The guy is just staring at the horse, when the horse says, "What are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a horse serving drinks before?" The guy says, "No, I never thought the parrot would sell the place."

A polar bear, a giraffe and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
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