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Having Kids is for people with Unsatisfying Careers? |
Satan's Sin
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Jun 13, 2004
Posts: 729
From: Imperial Beach, CA
|  Posted: 2005-08-01 09:17 am Permalink
I love my kids and would give my life for them.
But I would not marry them.
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joefla70
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Jan 17, 2005
Posts: 354
From: Fort Lauderdale
| Posted: 2005-08-01 10:06 am Permalink
If the talk show host was suggesting that people who have unsatifying careers should have kids because that will make them happy, then I must take issue with that statement. People should have kids if having children is something that will make them happy. There are plenty of people who have satisfying careers who also have children. And I'm sure that there are plenty of people who have crappy careers that have absoutely no desire to have kids. For the latter, having kids is not going to be a panacea for them.
Personally, I couldn't imagine not having children. My wife and I had our first child four months ago and we couldn't be happier. We tried for almost a year to have her. I think part of the reason why I wanted kids so much is becuase I come from a very close-knit family and I see how much myself and my brother and sister mean to my parents and how much a part of their lives we are, and how fulfilling their lives are with us in them -- especially now that they are in their 70s. My mom told me that back when she was working as a fashion illustrator (40 years ago at the time when my older brother was born) she remembered how some of the older "career women" told her that they regretted the fact that they never had families and that they had chosen to devote themselves to their careers. I know that my mom is very happy with the decision she made to give up her very successful career to have us.
Having said that, I understand that having kids is not for everyone and I really respect people like TikiGardner who recognize this and choose not to have children. I must say that I think it is extremely UNselfish of people who really don't want to have kids... not to have them. I think that the people who ARE selfish are the ones who care most about their careers, but still have kids anyway because think they its something that they should do. A lot of the kids who grew up in my neigborhood had parents that fell into this category. They were essentially raised by nannys and babysitters and, to this day, are not close to their parents at all.
The bottom line is that people should do what makes them happy. If having a life without kids is what makes them happy, then that's great. Personally, I couldn't imagine not having kids, but I'm sure there are plenty of people that can't picture themselves having them. There's nothing wrong with either decision.
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Urban Tiki
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Aug 18, 2004
Posts: 527
From: The Tropical Isle of Manhattan
| Posted: 2005-08-01 12:01 pm Permalink
I am 47 without children, and plan to keep it that way (thank goodness my wahine agrees), but am not particularly fulfilled by my job either, but I live a very happy and full life.My job does not define me but, fortunately, provides a pretty comfortable living which allows me to pursue other interests and hobbies like tiki and music (and tiki music). I love my neices to death, however, and love spending time with them being Crazy Uncle Ray.
You do not have children in order to fill a hole in your life, nor do you automatically have children because society dictates that as the natural course of events. Having children should be a concious decision that is made because you genuinely want to have the children and the responsibility that goes with it.
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TikiGardener
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Mar 24, 2002
Posts: 1359
From: 1st website dedicated to Tiki Gardens
| Posted: 2005-08-01 1:48 pm Permalink
HERE HERE!!!
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alohabros
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Feb 04, 2004
Posts: 533
From: westernus
| Posted: 2005-08-02 07:06 am Permalink
"... it's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day...."
homer simpson
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TikiGardener
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Mar 24, 2002
Posts: 1359
From: 1st website dedicated to Tiki Gardens
| Posted: 2005-12-06 01:51 am Permalink
And boy was I wrong about everything.
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Geeky Tiki
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Oct 15, 2002
Posts: 533
From: Las vegas
| Posted: 2005-12-06 07:59 am Permalink
Quote:
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On 2005-12-06 01:51, TikiGardener wrote:
And boy was I wrong about everything.
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OK, please 'splain!
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mrs. pineapple
Tiki Socialite
Joined: May 12, 2003
Posts: 611 | Posted: 2005-12-06 3:39 pm Permalink
Quote:
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On 2005-12-06 07:59, Geeky Tiki wrote:
Quote:
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On 2005-12-06 01:51, TikiGardener wrote:
And boy was I wrong about everything.
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OK, please 'splain!
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I get it.....
_________________
"You're the mayor of shark city, people think you want the beaches open."
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Tiki-bot
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Jun 24, 2002
Posts: 1345 | Posted: 2005-12-06 4:09 pm Permalink
Quote:
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On 2005-07-28 22:30, TikiGardener wrote:
NOT HAVING KIDS IS GREAT!
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Ohhhh, the irony!
Seriously, congrats on the reunion. 'Nuff said.
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paranoid123
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Dec 13, 2002
Posts: 374
From: New York City
| Posted: 2005-12-06 4:36 pm Permalink
Reading through the thread and seeing what (I assume) happened to TG, I think the issue of having kids or not is similar to Morphius offering Neo the red or blue pill. You choose the blue pill, and you'll live the rest of your life how it is, never knowing the "joys" of having children. Chose the red one, and for better or worse, you'll know.
For me, everyone telling me how great and wonderful kids how much fulfilment you gain, well, that just sounds as crazy as if they had told me that my reality is actually controlled by a giant computer. This comes from seeing all the whiney spoiled children in public; to my niece, whom I love dearly and seen at least once a week since her birth up into her terrible twos. I have philisophical issues about having children. And if any parent wants to call me non-commital or selfish, that's fine.
I'm with Jab, I live my life for leisure time. My job is just there to make sure I have a means to a quality leisure time. I'd rather take the blue pill. I don't want any children, and I don't really care to know how great and fulfilling it is.
_________________
[ This Message was edited by: paranoid123 2005-12-06 16:43 ]
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alohabros
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Feb 04, 2004
Posts: 533
From: westernus
| Posted: 2005-12-06 5:19 pm Permalink
Quote:
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On 2005-12-06 16:36, paranoid123 wrote:
I'm with Jab, I live my life for leisure time. My jab is just there to make sure I have a means to a quality leisure time. I'd rather take the blue pill. I don't want any children, and I don't really care to know how great and fulfilling it is.
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... some are non breeders, indeed... for those, the little blue pill is merely a party drug... be safe...
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Geeky Tiki
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Oct 15, 2002
Posts: 533
From: Las vegas
| Posted: 2005-12-06 5:20 pm Permalink
OK, I found the thread.
Incredible!
It was very moving and I admire your reaction. Nothing but openness and high class.
I showed my wife, who read through the whole thread and then giggled - which surprised me a little.
She said, "Well, he got to skip feedings, diapers, and potty training, but he signed on just in time for college!"
She was also moved by how naturally you made someone's life that much more complete. Plus, now there is one more person in the world to love you and be loved by you!
We both wish you all the best.
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TikiGardener
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Mar 24, 2002
Posts: 1359
From: 1st website dedicated to Tiki Gardens
| Posted: 2005-12-06 7:33 pm Permalink
Well, one of the things I learned early on about being
a healhty human being is this. When an idea you had no longer
reflects reality, you have to abandon it. If you don't, what are
you left with. An inability to recognise reality.
I know there is an actual quote by someone about this fact.
So I have a daughter who means the world to me. And who I know
can teach me a world of lessons.But dont worry, I wont try
to convert anyone to the cult. My daughter and I have our own
cult. And the membership is very select.
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DawnTiki
Grand Member (first year) 
Joined: Sep 01, 2002
Posts: 1674
From: next stop Hulaville!
| Posted: 2005-12-06 7:41 pm Permalink
Here's the tastiest sounding recipe for crow I could find...
Vegetarians can even partake 
Jamaican Crow Recipe
Ingredients:
2.0 oz Club Soda
0.5 oz Grenadine
1.0 oz Lime juice
1.5 oz Light Rum
Directions:
Fill a Shaker half full with ice cubes. Pour all ingredients except soda into Shaker and shake well. Fill a Collins glass almost full with ice cubes and strain drink into glass. Add the Club Soda and stir well. Garnish with an Orange Slice and a Maraschino Cherry.
Congratulations and thanks TG for sharing.
I was telling your story to a friend over lunch today and we both got more than a little a little verklempt.
Only the best of wishes to you and your daughter!
_________________
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Gigantalope
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Aug 01, 2004
Posts: 913
From: Shinola, California
| Posted: 2005-12-06 9:29 pm Permalink
I don't akshully HAVE anykids, but if'n I did, this is the summer camp they would go to.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5854686068870249151
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