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Tiki Central Forums » » Bilge » » Oh, How I Hate Them Untiki Neighbors...
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Oh, How I Hate Them Untiki Neighbors...
PockyTiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Feb 28, 2006
Posts: 556
From: central MA
Posted: 2006-03-01 7:56 pm   Permalink

Quote:

On 2006-02-27 18:26, hewey wrote:
Invite them over for a ritual sacrifice to the heathen gods.



Oh, and don't forget to drink goat's blood from a skull chalice, with a raging fire in the backround.


 
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joefla70
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jan 17, 2005
Posts: 354
From: Fort Lauderdale
Posted: 2006-03-02 1:56 pm   Permalink

.... and flash your boobs at them while drinking the blood! That will show them!

 
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hewey
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Sep 14, 2004
Posts: 4278
From: Sydney, Australia
Posted: 2006-03-02 5:52 pm   Permalink

One of the girls got a camp or something coming up? Perfect time for it. Just as long as the neighbour doesnt know. Or ship her to the grandparents during the holidays (just the one daughter though)
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Hau 'oli Tiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Feb 03, 2005
Posts: 408
From: Lamegoona Hills, CA
Posted: 2006-03-16 10:12 am   Permalink

Here's the update. The 15 year old IS going away for a Spring retreat. Sooooo, we're planning some kind of theater. Nothing too crazy. I don't want the cops involved (I don't have permits for the palapa, pirate ship, etc...)We are actually thinking of telling them we want our girls to become more aware of the tiki/Hawaiian culture and that we are sending them away one by one to learn from an old tiki master and retired hula dancer. Kinda like a Finishing School for the Polynesian arts, but with a savage, tikigod like, native twist. They'll think this is the worst thing to ever do to a young Christian girl! A sacrifice to the Tiki Gods!! On return, we'll dress her up in face paint and grass skirt complete w/ clam shell or coconut shell bra and tell her to do a little ceremony "honoring" the earth of her home and the spirit of the Tikis. Complete w/ knees on the earth and a little chant, etc...
Oughta be a hoot!
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hewey
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Sep 14, 2004
Posts: 4278
From: Sydney, Australia
Posted: 2006-03-16 5:27 pm   Permalink

Thats tops! Cant wait to hear the results!!!

 
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hewey
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Sep 14, 2004
Posts: 4278
From: Sydney, Australia
Posted: 2006-03-16 6:22 pm   Permalink

Even better - make up a flyer for the tiki school and show them! Put on bogus address but no phone or internet address - they are too easily found out to be false. I'll PM you about making a flyer up, and Ill email to you to print.

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[ This Message was edited by: hewey 2006-03-17 00:04 ]


 
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hewey
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Sep 14, 2004
Posts: 4278
From: Sydney, Australia
Posted: 2006-03-16 11:07 pm   Permalink

Update:
I am pleased to announce the establishment of The International Tiki Institute! (aka TITI haha). The institute aims to perpetuate Polynesian heritage for all.

It was established by Hewey Lika Mih Tiki (Hewey Like-a-my-tiki). The brochure will also include testimonials from our former course participants "thanks to the institute, I was able to reach out to my non-tiki neighbours, and involve them in my pagan god appeasement rituals. Thanks so much..." Oh, Ive only just began...

I will also include my email address so if they do chose to ask any questions I can answer it

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[ This Message was edited by: hewey 2006-03-17 04:18 ]


 
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Gigantalope
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Aug 01, 2004
Posts: 913
From: Shinola, California
Posted: 2006-03-17 06:46 am   Permalink

For your ritual...don't forget little figures of them...your neighbors. (with a filthy syringe in thier hearts) and placed on the fence.



 
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Hau 'oli Tiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Feb 03, 2005
Posts: 408
From: Lamegoona Hills, CA
Posted: 2006-03-18 09:12 am   Permalink

I think this is a fabulous idea! I'm on board to sign the girls up ASAP! Make it look real cultish and brain-washy so the neighbors think we're just nuts!
I may even have "retreats" here at the Lanai for a weekend of Higher Tiki Awareness sessions!
This just may take off w/ a life of it's own!
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hewey
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Sep 14, 2004
Posts: 4278
From: Sydney, Australia
Posted: 2006-03-30 6:01 pm   Permalink

Check out the brochure I got for the Tiki International Knowledge Institute or TIKI for short!

Front:
http://www.tikiroom.net/gallery/tc/bjr

Back:
http://www.tikiroom.net/gallery/tc/bjs


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hewey
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Sep 14, 2004
Posts: 4278
From: Sydney, Australia
Posted: 2006-03-30 6:07 pm   Permalink

Here's the text all written out for those that cannot read it:

TIKI
The Tiki International Knowledge Institute


Perpetuating our Polynesian Heritage for all

Message from our Founder:
Aloha!

The Tiki International Knowledge Institute (TIKI) is dedicated to the ongoing preservation and practice of our Polynesian heritage as practised by our forefathers. The influence of “civilised” society, which began with over zealous religious missionaries, has seen our society reduced to little more than a marketing gimmick to sell holidays to those stupid enough to settle in places where it snows in the colder months.

By inviting people of all backgrounds to participate in our pagan rituals, we aim to increase the knowledge and respect that people hold for our island cultures. One only needs to search for TIKI on the internet to witness the extent of people who assist us in advocating tiki culture. We believe we can inspire you to do the same, and help you to share the aloha ohana spirit with those closest to you.

Hewey Lika Mih Teakee
Founder –Tiki International Knowledge Institute

Participant Feedback:
Edward – I really enjoyed learning from some of the true tiki masters. I especially liked the workshop on involving your friends, colleagues, and neighbours in tiki based events. We had a big luau and everyone got in and did a traditional honouring of the island gods – it was wild! We are already preparing our next one to coincide with the next full moon! Thank you so much!

Tina – I really enjoyed learning how to do a Tantric hula. The moves I can do really get my boyfriends attention! My love life is so much better, and his wife can’t work out why he is so content and satisfied. Love Tina!

Davo – Mate what a top place! Not only did I have a great time partying under the stars, I also learnt heaps of stuff about all that tiki stuff! It was tops!

Activities:
Here at TIKI, we run a number of activities in which participants can immerse themselves in island culture.
· Guide to incorporating tiki culture into your suburban life.
· Traditional tiki carving and painting basics.
· Workshop on involving your friends, neighbours and colleagues to participate in traditional island ceremonies.
· Traditional island god appreciation.
· Introduction to voodoo and island black magic.
· Advanced guide to voodoo and island black magic.
· Workshop on how to hold a successful luau.
· Hula dancing lessons.
· Tantric hula lessons (for advanced students only).
· How to use traditional island weapons (with a particular focus on home security and self protection).
· Fire walking for beginners.
· Workshops on crafting traditional tiki items such as grass skirts, coconuts bikinis, traditional weapons, cannibal forks, and shrunken heads (no, we no longer use human heads, but we do have some authentic examples you can view).

Location:
The TIKI is located on a small and isolated tropical island not far from the Hawaiian islands. Its lush green rain forest, and pristine white beaches make it a perfect venue for people to get into contact with their inner tribal spirits. We have found it to be a great environment for people to escape their boss, their mobile phone, emails, and persistent tax collectors.

Contact Us:
Here at TIKI, we like to live a lifestyle as close as possible to a traditional island lifestyle. For that reason we do not have a connection to the telephone or other contact means. We do have an internet connection (hey, ebay rocks!), so please email us on
contacthewey@hotmail.com (Please put TIKI in the subject line so we can sort you from the drug and porn spam.
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Hau 'oli Tiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Feb 03, 2005
Posts: 408
From: Lamegoona Hills, CA
Posted: 2006-10-21 11:26 am   Permalink

UPDATE: IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE!!

I haven't been on TC for ages because I've been busy battling with those crappy neighbors. They have now dragged in my surrounding neighbors. They decided to take their hating up a notch. I have had the city code enforcement, animal control enforcement, sheriff and neighborhood watch called on me countless times. I have to endure visits from them all to follow through on the bogus calls!

Apparently, my palapa is border line illegal. Thanks to neighbor across the street (Mr BitterChips)I may have to destroy the entire thing due to code/permit errors. He's a semiretired Realtor selling a house 4 doors down. He thinks it looks unsafe.

The Peeper (directly next door) calls the police whenever the RV and dirt bikes/boats are parked on the street out front before/after trip pack ups/clean outs. I can't park ANYTHING on the curb! I get back from the River at 2 AM and I'm not allowed to leave the rig on the curb until storage opens?! Thanks wanker!

The Asshole, directly behind me, decides to come visit at 10 PM when I'm home alone and tell me I'm a crazy bitch (still not clear why, but I think it had something to do with my daughter's 16th birthday party.)He and his girlfriend just stood there yelling like lobotomized tards on my porch, ignoring my repeated requests to leave my property...from behind a closed front door. So I called 911 because he was just pounding on the door and yelling! Scared the poopoo right out of me! So he responds by calling the police a few days latter and telling them he thinks the residents of (our house) the next door neighbors are a security risk. So I get a visit from HOMELAND SECURITY!!!! My Ex is an Army Ops and, thank God, was the one that received my case!! He actually came in handy for once and wrote it off as a retaliation call. But now we're on the radar w/ Big Bro. Like we thought we weren't before?

The recent one is Asshole, Peeper and BitterChips are trying to get video of our dogs barking. They have all signed an intent to sue for excessive barking. I take my dogs everywhere with me, so I have no doubt that they will end up with hours of quiet back yard tape.

AND...we have to take apart the pirate ship wreck we built over the pool pump equipment because it doesn't conform to original specs. This was discovered during the palapa complaint/inspection. All that time and money, not to mention a cool ship...gone.

The city has told us they are looking into the possibility that using thatch on a patio covering could be outlawed due to the fear it would be a fire hazard (even though it's treated per code!), used for a temp dwelling, or viewed as an undesirable look associated with Third World countries barrio-type housing (?!). The banana trees are too tall. The vines are too thick. Mined you, I do not live in an HOA! I now believe the chick from the city is riding tall on her high horse and in cahoots with the 3 tards.

We can't leave the house in the evenings for a night out...the kids get harassed by Peeper's kids and I'm afraid one of them will call Child Protection Services! Or they call Animal Control for the dogs barking INSIDE the house and state they've been doing so for so long "they were worried they'd been abandoned by the owners"!! We drove away once and parked on another block and snuck up behind the house through the school yard (cattywampus to our property) and saw them all congregating out front. They had a video camera and regular camera's and were taking pix of the front yard and house! There was nothing wrong, except some ongoing re-landscaping, so I have no clue what they were doing. We popped out the front door, much to their shock, and they all scattered.

I am so tired of all of this that we are seriously considering moving to the middle of no where and scraping all human contact! I am at my wit's end as to what to do next! You would think we were the biggest ass holes to warrant such behavior from these people, but honestly, we are very quiet and keep to ourselves! We have no parties, loud music, crazy front landscaping/colors...etc.

I think this all started when we had our pool built and put in the exotic decor. One of Peeper's turds asked my daughter if she thought she was "hot stuff" (yes, that was the actual terminolgy he used-sounds like he heard that one from his folks) because we had a pool and dirt bikes and boats and thought we were rich (?). My daughter replied, "Just because someone gets something you don't have doesn't make them richer than you. It just means they are willing to work harder to pay for it." His Mom once told me he's upset that my daughter and him aren't as close as they were when they were in elementary together. She thinks he has a crush on her. She wouldn't give him the time of day, so he does the typical thing of being mean to her. She's popular, outgoing and social. He lives under a rock, shuns all things social and regularly puts down everyone. His parents treat him like he could beat Jesus at anything. Is this all just retribution for a social snub?

Thanks for letting me vent/blog. Anyone want to trade houses?


 
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PoisonIvy
Tiki Centralite

Joined: Mar 04, 2005
Posts: 72
Posted: 2006-10-21 8:50 pm   Permalink

SCREW UM! You sound overly concerned. Fuck it, you own the property....carry on.

 
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hewey
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Sep 14, 2004
Posts: 4278
From: Sydney, Australia
Posted: 2006-10-22 05:13 am   Permalink

What a load of the proverbial! I'd like to say stay there to piss everyone off, but sometimes its not worth the hassles when it gets this extreme.

My girlfreind had a similar neighbour, called the cops on them for a "raging property" - it was her and some freinds when they were kids watching a movie! The cops realised it was one particular spiteful neighbour, but were still required to go out every time. Same with Council...

I can think of plenty of things to stir them up, but this has gone way too far already, and needs to be nipped in the bud.

Might be worth seeing if there are local independant mediators for these disputes or talking to the cops about harrasment. Problem is they will gang up on you and corroborate, but they also need proof (hence the video). Maybe if you can reasonably prove that they are being tools, the cops can tell them to back off.

Problem is, very hard to stop them completely.

Good luck with it! Definitely sucks.
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Chip and Andy
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 13, 2004
Posts: 2216
From: Corner table, Molokai Lounge, Mai-Kai.
Posted: 2006-10-22 06:57 am   Permalink

Sorry to hear they are ganing up on you. It is much easier if you are taking them on one-at-a-time, but in a group they have the louder voice when dealing with any of the City functionaries.....

Working for my local Government I can offer the following.....

Go and spend a lot of time at your local government office that is in charge of building permits, spend some time in the zoning and landuse office, spend some time in the office that is in charge of Code Enforcement (or what it is called in your government), and then spend a bit of time talking to the police department. The more you know about what can and can't be done and how to do it, the easier it will it be to call off the horible neighbors. When they call and say your dogs are being a nusiance, you will be able to talk to the officers responding in the correct language proving that you are the better citizen and the neighbors are being a bunch of old-bitties. Like G.I.Joe said, Knowldge is Power.

And, since you are not in an Association and don't have the formal rules associated, you have a lot more power over your own property than all of your neighbors seem to think. The hardest part of the whole thing is that they are ganging up on you which makes it very hard for you to stay on the offensive. When you have confirmed that you have all of your permits and paperwork in order, you can then turn the tables and remind them that they too have something in their yards that Code would like to look at. Doesn't that plant in the back corner look an awfull lot like a Pot plant? And wasn't the neighbor kid hanging around with 'those' kids a lot lately?

Good luck, keep the faith. We are here for you, let us know what we can do to help.....


 
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