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Tiki Central Forums Bilge Oh, How I Hate Them Untiki Neighbors...
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Oh, How I Hate Them Untiki Neighbors...
Tiki Centralite

Joined: Oct 13, 2005
Posts: 23
From: Hawaii
Posted: 2007-06-26 12:05 am   Permalink

Ahhhh... I don't miss that.

I'm lucky- my neighbors are for the most part super cool. The neighbors downhill from me even own a Hawaiian crafts store and coach canoe racing and generally are beyond the absolute best. Everyone else is still pretty cool, despite a couple dork outbreaks here and there. Basically I moved into a small, local neighborhood in Hawaii 15 years ago and we all have known each other for that long or longer. Somebody called the cops when we were playing ukulele and guitar (not electric) on the porch a couple years ago, but I think it's the rental three doors up. They apparently only rent to people who are against fun and stuff, because a year ago the new tenant came and told me my dogs were vicious (they're truly big puppies- total wussie dogs- they're just big.) He was a dork from Manhattan beach who spent ten minutes telling me how he rode the biggest wave ever ridden in California and then after I listened to his complete bullshit for all that time tries to tell me "the neighborhood got together and asked him to come down because they're afraid". I was chuckling inside at that one- my neighborhood doesn't have 'meetings' or any crap like that. So I just looked at him and asked, "You know why they're scared to come talk to me? Cause I'm f*cking crazy." No shit. and before he could say a word I started my weed whip back up and went about my gardening. Dude never spoke to me again.

We're getting all kinds of new neighbors down on the other side of the neighborhood where there were a lot of rentals. Housing prices have gone up so much that a lot of the rentals are selling, and we're getting a lot of people who would probably be cool except they don't know how to shut up, listen and learn how things are. Instead they start right in with the bullshit of sticking their noses into other people's business and telling everyone 'how they do it back home' and in Kona in a small independent local neighborhood (read: not a development with rules and an association)- that gets you absolutely nowhere.

Whoever the poor soul is with those awful neighbors- I had a guy hassling me once who didn't like my pups. I try to keep them in but the one is a fricken circus performer. She can escape anything. So the guy is a real dick and I'm super trying to stay positive. He's trying to sell his house and I understand- that's hard. But still- he finally becomes so insufferable that I paint a 4x8 sheet of plywood: Coming soon: Skateboard halfpipe and punk rock band practice spot!" I hung it from my front gate for a couple days and got a half dozen phone calls from people I know, wanting to come skate my halfpipe. I never heard from the dork again, and he never did sell his house. He's the perfect neighbor- he doesn't speak to me.

I also think I'd consider sending in those reader cards for magazine subscriptions for them, signing them up for a few hundred mortgage companies to cold call them, get them subscriptions to really gnarley porn. filling their car with styrofoam peanuts and shrink-wrapping the entire outside would be creative. I had a customer that stiffed me for several thousand dollars and my construction crew and I would have a few beers on a Friday night and use
http://www.fakecaller.com/ to call him and ask whoever answers if he ordered a hooker, if he was going to meet her for the date, etc....

Aloha! Happily being left alone at present!

[ This Message was edited by: T_lifehater 2007-06-26 00:07 ]

[ This Message was edited by: T_lifehater 2007-06-26 00:09 ]

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Tiki Centralite

Joined: Jun 21, 2005
Posts: 27
Posted: 2007-07-15 12:24 am   Permalink

This was a pretty amusing thread - although I'm sure if you're living it, it's not so hot.

You could do something really hostile, like spraying something naughty on their lawn using Round Up - which, btw, will kill anything, including, mmm, orchids or other some such greenery.

Good luck!
Mick a lick a hi micka hiney ho!

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Tiki Socialite

Joined: Mar 25, 2002
Posts: 446
From: LongBeach
Posted: 2007-08-06 8:58 pm   Permalink

You can always rant to the world by contributing to the map.

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Joined: Nov 05, 2005
Posts: 4
From: Rumlandnesia
Posted: 2007-10-11 08:32 am   Permalink

WOW !!! Did anyone read the current Fall Atomic Ranch 'Zine !?! One featured person spews forth Anti-Tiki remarks... but does go to lament on available homes in his neighborhood ... HMHMH We buy them and Tikify his surrounding yard !!! Good Fun !!!


[ This Message was edited by: dano_tiki 2007-10-11 08:34 ]

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Tiki Socialite

Joined: Apr 29, 2004
Posts: 446
From: Sarasota, Fla.
Posted: 2007-12-19 08:57 am   Permalink

Lucky me, I have only one neighbor and she is cool. We set off fireworks and have bonfires and I have been chainsaw carving and blasting my stereo. She just joins in when she can.
When I was younger I partied, I partied HARD! And as I look back I realize I was probably a nightmare for some of my neighbors and I would not know want to live next to the me of 15 years ago.
My lifestyle drove my decision on purchasing the remote property that I currently own. With age comes wisdom. Chip gave great advise, learn the laws and the codes and use them as they have been used against you. It's important never to lose ones "cool" and spout with rage, it only fuels animosity and gives the intolerant a-holes excuses to continue their attack. Smart, Subtle and Smiling is the best way to approach ones defense. I hope that they all get Tiki Holiday Cards depicting a virgin sacrifice.

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Hau 'oli Tiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Feb 03, 2005
Posts: 410
From: Lamegoona Hills, CA
Posted: 2009-04-21 10:03 pm   Permalink

It's that time again! Time to piss off those neighbors, Mr Peeper and Bitterchips! We're tearing down the pirate ship and building...a pirate ship. This time the bow, not the back end (aft?) I'm tired of looking at his 'greenhouse'. The shed frame outfitted in plastic.

Meanwhile, the Mr. is trying his hand at carving. He's got an 8 foot palm log that's been drying out in the garage for 3 years. Set it up right next to the fence...4 feet from Mr Peepers's master bedroom window. You know, he likes to sleep in 'til noon, before he heads on over to the Home Depot for his late shift.

OH. Must fill you all in on the past year or more... the young Peeper Jr fell hard in love with our eldest daughter. Asked her out and everything! She wisely stated that it would be weird, like kissing your brother. (She's like Switzerland, stays neutral and overly sweet.) I say it would be like kissing the rashy butt of a baboon, but what do I know.

The thing is, their 2 boys and our 2 girls were actually getting along. And then, after "The Horrible Denial That The Whole Family Is Shamed With Daily" incident, they got very hostile and downright rude with us all. Like their whole family were shamed or something?

We then received an anonymous letter from someone stating that our RV parked on the opposite side of our house on the main road, away from their view completely...was an eyesore. And a hazard. It blocks your view when trying to make a right turn. If you NEED to see what's going on THAT far down the street, I'm thinking maybe you shouldn't be drivin. The letter said things like, "Since you've moved in, you've been pleasant enough" and "we've enjoyed having you join our community". The give away was when this 'anonymous' idiot stated he was "a little upset when you wouldn't go in on the rock wall on the property line with the other neighbors". Uh, dumb ass. It's just you and me on that line. This ain't 4 Corners, Einstein! (Best revenge is MY lavender completely covers HIS fauxgly 3 foot stone wall...which is why I wouldn't pay for it in the first place, telling him it would be obscured in a year!)

Then we started getting broken glass and nails/screw on our driveway. A little pile of them right under a tire. I'm not saying for sure it was them, but it's the same "trick" done to someone they didn't like that the boys were laughing over about a year ago. Duh.

We were also politely told that we needed to shut our dogs up for a wedding they were having in their backyard. Our dogs go to bed by 5 pm, inside, and they know that. And we should not play any of our 'different' music out by the pool during the wedding. No Ape or TO for a whole evening. And could we do something about those toads that croak so loud? (why do you think I got 'em?!)

So what with the hostile glares, the obvious snubs, the harassment, and the complaining and whining, we decided it's time to awaken from our hibernation. Time to fire up the ole annoyance machine.

Stay tuned to see if anything comes of it.

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Jungle Trader
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jan 04, 2003
Posts: 3755
From: Trader's Jungle Outpost, Turlock, Ca.
Posted: 2009-04-22 07:38 am   Permalink

THIS is gonna be good.
(rubs hands together)


[ This Message was edited by: Jungle Trader 2009-04-22 07:42 ]

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Hau 'oli Tiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Feb 03, 2005
Posts: 410
From: Lamegoona Hills, CA
Posted: 2009-04-23 6:18 pm   Permalink

OK. So my son, The Boy, has moved back in. He's 22. Him and his sisters have got to be the loudest people EVER. We put him in the room right next to the neighbors bedrooms.

Him and the girls keep yelling "Wayne!!" I guess it's from a show called Tim & Eric. They sound frantic and nutty.

They also play the goofiest music. Play GTA4 too loud. Do one liners from movies...way too loud. It's great!

We have our bedroom downstairs, so we don't hear it so bad. Besides, it bugs them more than us!

Today, we noticed them measuring the bedroom windows. Shutters? Double glass?

heh heh heh.....

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Queen Kamehameha
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Oct 21, 2003
Posts: 1413
From: So Cal
Posted: 2009-05-15 12:50 am   Permalink

Hau 'oli Tiki, Yes, I have had the same issues, with Cigar guy behind me and Wally next door, between the 2, they reported me 127 times over 5 years for things they said were wrong. I never let it get to me until the architectural committee said after looking at all the things in my yard and coming to my parties, The Tiki bar needed to move 4 1/2 feet from the rear wall. The boat was ok, it didn't have a roof, the dock was sort of ok, the roof needed to come off. We got a lawyer, we had fights and after not going to the yard for 1 1/2 years, we decided to move the bar and plant many, many, many ficus trees that now block both sides of our yard.

It was worth it, they still complain, but we ignore them, we have the rule book, we have the county rule book and we stay inside the guidelines which really annoys them! Good Luck, if you give in, you lose, stay with it and plant tall hedges


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Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 18, 2006
Posts: 1974
From: San Diego
Posted: 2009-05-16 08:23 am   Permalink

"The best neighbor is a fence."

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Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 06, 2007
Posts: 571
From: Palm Springs
Posted: 2009-07-05 08:49 am   Permalink


On 2009-05-16 08:23, Cammo wrote:
"The best neighbor is a fence."

And the best revenge is Round-Up.

It's slow acting, takes about three weeks to complete its effect and leaves the area poisoned for a long time afterward. Try writing words in the offending neighbor's front lawn. My favorite is ASSHOLE Lives Here.

The effect happens slowly and appears like a natural disease.

I've used it to great effect.

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