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Tiki Central Forums Tiki Drinks and Food Check out this link for a perfect Luau
Check out this link for a perfect Luau
quickiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Dec 29, 2005
Posts: 139
From: Stockton, CA
Posted: 2006-06-16 11:19 am   Permalink

I saw this magazine article the other day and had to laugh at their suggestions for throwing a perfect Luau. This is the link to article that appeared in the magazine:

http://www.sanjoaquinmagazine.com/articles/sizzlin_summer.aspx

According to the article, it's only a luau if you cook a whole pig. Note the rip-off Shag illustration and the suggestions for dress, drink and music. Absolutely amazing. I wouldn't be caught dead going to a party like this.

[ This Message was edited by: quickiki 2006-06-16 11:20 ]


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pappythesailor
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 07, 2005
Posts: 1563
From: Mass.
Posted: 2006-06-16 11:30 am   Permalink

I love how they tell you how not to focus on one dish or a main course and in the same breath tell you to roast a whole pig! How is that not going to be the main course?

 
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Rum Balls
Grand Member (first year)  

Joined: Oct 04, 2004
Posts: 860
From: Portland, OR
Posted: 2006-06-16 12:27 pm   Permalink

No "loud Hawaiian shirts"??? I guess I am not a "cool hipster."



 
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quickiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Dec 29, 2005
Posts: 139
From: Stockton, CA
Posted: 2006-06-16 1:09 pm   Permalink

I particularly like the music selection of Vampyros Lesbos Sexadelic Dance Party (Crippled Dick Hot)! I'll have to track down that record just to see the cover.

 
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tikicleen
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Nov 11, 2003
Posts: 327
From: ripon: almond capital yet no orgeat
Posted: 2006-06-16 1:30 pm   Permalink

quickiki -- thank you so much for posting this! for some strange reason, we received this magazine two days ago and we are sure that we never subscribed to it. i got such a laugh out of the perfect luau section, i had to have the hat read it when he got home. he was so perturbed by the entire article, we started brainstorming an evil letter to write to the magazine about it. oddly enough, there is no "letters to the editor section" in this mysterious magazine. also, that music section is a hoot. notice that the person who compiled that list is not the same as the author of the article. instead it is just some initials, in which i was unable to track down who they belonged to in the magazine.

supposedly the headquarters to this magazine is in tracy. this may explain some things...
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tikicleen
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Nov 11, 2003
Posts: 327
From: ripon: almond capital yet no orgeat
Posted: 2006-06-16 1:40 pm   Permalink

...and also, every drink they list has flavored rum in it! - bleah! -
and what's up with how the ladies are to wear a black cocktail dress with pumps -- not heels??! who the hell is this person? and men are to wear black. excuse me, but are we attending a wake?

this has to be the worst luau guide ever written.
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lanikai
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 15, 2004
Posts: 490
From: Hawaii
Posted: 2006-06-16 1:48 pm   Permalink

Quote:

On 2006-06-16 11:19, quickiki wrote:
I saw this magazine article the other day and had to laugh at their suggestions for throwing a perfect Luau.

aaah c'mon. give em a break. it's just another in a long string of dogmatic "we are the only ones who know this exclusive info with our own skewed take on "Hawaii fake" kinda articles.

the napa Winery Waikiki in Wine country luau had "contemporary Hawaiian dishes incl. the very popular and traditional roasted pig" and I never in all my decades here in Hawaii have heard it referred to as 'roasted pig". and whatever pig they are pushin' ain't contemporary. Luau pig is not modern.
they said it's a "Hawaiian luau in the Napa Valley." and of course, that is an impossibility on all levels.
The Makai Gents are referred to as a "Hawaiian band." and of course nobody need tell ya that's wrong. What? they play hapa haole songs? k den. Say that. but they are not a "Hawaiian band".
so maybe that article wasn't illustrated by SHAG. and maybe one o da tc'ers didn't write it.
Look at it this way. It is like any other of the many articles of its ilk, it may stir up interest in this kinda stuff and consequently, maybe the number of TC'ers will grow. or maybe it's a closed club, not open to other perspectives?


 
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quickiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Dec 29, 2005
Posts: 139
From: Stockton, CA
Posted: 2006-06-16 1:54 pm   Permalink

That's funny tikicleen. The attire suggestions are sooooo metrosexual! Actually, I guess I beat you guys to the punch about the letter. I sent one off to the editor (the email address is in the front of the magazine) that was probably regrettable, but I wasn't going to let this one go by without a comment. I know you and drunkenhat are valley folks and I wonder how many other valley TCers saw this lame article. I asked my wife if she subscribed to it, but see said that she hadn't, so I guess this crap is just junk mail, eh?

 
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Chip and Andy
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 13, 2004
Posts: 2125
From: Corner table, Molokai Lounge, Mai-Kai.
Posted: 2006-06-16 2:34 pm   Permalink

Quote:

On 2006-06-16 11:19, quickiki wrote:
I saw this magazine article the other day and had to laugh at their suggestions for throwing a perfect Luau. ...



Thank you so much for sharing that. I laughed so hard when I read "Pumps are better than heels if you're planning on getting jiggy with it." that I thought I was going to hurt myself. Jiggy with it is SO in keeping with the theme of the article!

The dress code aside, they do make some interesting recommendations, my favorite being the bar thing. Amen to having a bar you can 'belly up to!'


 
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princessP
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 17, 2004
Posts: 133
From: alameda, ca
Posted: 2006-06-17 3:05 pm   Permalink


Stuffing for a whole pig??



 
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lanikai
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 15, 2004
Posts: 490
From: Hawaii
Posted: 2006-06-17 3:12 pm   Permalink

Quote:

On 2006-06-17 15:05, princessP wrote:

Stuffing for a whole pig??



that "stuffing" is mentioned at all should shock ya. but hey. as they say; we ain't goin for the authentic.


 
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MrBaliHai
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jun 01, 2002
Posts: 788
Posted: 2006-06-18 08:04 am   Permalink

The level of cluelessness on display in that article is truly astonishing (and hilarious). Thanks for sharing.
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princessP
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 17, 2004
Posts: 133
From: alameda, ca
Posted: 2006-06-18 2:56 pm   Permalink

Quote:

On 2006-06-17 15:12, lanikai wrote:
Quote:

On 2006-06-17 15:05, princessP wrote:

Stuffing for a whole pig??



that "stuffing" is mentioned at all should shock ya. but hey. as they say; we ain't goin for the authentic.



That what I was getting at.. stuffing??? That is far from authentic


 
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