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Pappy Takes a Bartending Course |
pappythesailor
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Jul 07, 2005
Posts: 1563
From: Mass.
|  Posted: 2006-09-13 08:49 am Permalink
I will try to keep this post on-topic tiki-wise. At least I'll try to make it interesting. As the local vocational high school is just three minutes from home, I couldn't resist signing up for the 8-week bartending course they offer. I thought you rum heads might appreciate knowing what they teach at one of things.
WEEK 1 -
Met the instructor. He talked and talked about being a bartender for thirty years, how he's burned out, getting a divorce and how he lives with his mother. Then, we went around class and introduced ourselves. I've decided to keep a low profile in class and make like Sgt. Schultz at all times.
Interesting things I learned:
1) how to pronounce orgeat: (OR-geet)
2) how to pronounce curaçao : (KRAK-ow)
3)if you get job in a chinese restaurant, you'll probably have to make a Mai Tai the incorrect way they tell you, not the incorrect way they tell you in the Old Mr. Boston guide
4) If you make a Fuzzy Navel in New England, it doesn't have vodka in it. If you put vodka in it, it's called a Hairy Navel. Bleaaah.
5) if you're working with a bartender who's really crummy, it's OK not to share tips with him
Next week we start learning 20 drinks including the "Woo Woo". Woo Woo? More next week!
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Chip and Andy
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Jul 13, 2004
Posts: 2079
From: Corner table, Molokai Lounge, Mai-Kai.
| Posted: 2006-09-13 12:02 pm Permalink
Lie low, keep an eye on the guards....
Pass it down the line, when they get to the Margeurita Slushy Machine...
That is when we will RISE UP!
Take the guards first! Take no prisoners and burn the Hairy Navel Recipe first!
And then, suddenly....
Good luck and enjoy the ride. And try not to laugh too hard when they get to the rum drinks...
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thinkingbartender
Tiki Centralite
Joined: Apr 06, 2006
Posts: 62
From: London, England
| Posted: 2006-09-13 1:04 pm Permalink
orgeat: (OR-je-aa)
curaçao : (kur-ra-saow)
"3)if you get job in a chinese restaurant, you'll probably have to make a Mai Tai the incorrect way they tell you, not the incorrect way they tell you in the Old Mr. Boston guide"
Thats the same with any bar you work in; historical recipes, correct recipes etc do not matter, you are like a chef, you do what the Head Chef says, and you use only their recipes.
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GentleHangman
Grand Member (4 years) 
Joined: Jun 23, 2006
Posts: 350
From: Stuart, Florida
| Posted: 2006-09-13 2:17 pm Permalink
You're NOT actually PAYING for this course are you, Pappy?
GH
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Humuhumu
Grand Member (5 years) 
Joined: Aug 22, 2002
Posts: 3536
From: San Francisco
| Posted: 2006-09-13 2:18 pm Permalink
Ha ha! I have a feeling this is going to be a fun 8 weeks, especially for those of us who don't actually have to go.
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Critiki - Ooga-Mooga - Humu Kon Tiki
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johnman
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Apr 18, 2005
Posts: 452
From: RI
| Posted: 2006-09-13 3:31 pm Permalink
Pappy looks like you'll be mixing drinks if we end up having a room party at Hukilau. My skills will be totally inferior by the time you've completed your training - then again I have a feeling you may have to "unlearn what you have learned".
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MrBaliHai
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Jun 01, 2002
Posts: 775 | Posted: 2006-09-13 3:46 pm Permalink
At last, we have succeeded in planting a mole within the evil bartender empire! Promote the Tiki Cocktail Manifesto, pappy! Try to surpass advanced mixology techniques wherever they are implemented! Work towards a more powerful Navy Grog!
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pappythesailor
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Jul 07, 2005
Posts: 1563
From: Mass.
| Posted: 2006-09-13 6:53 pm Permalink
GH--yes, I had to pay but it does get me out of the house.
Oh, yeah. one more thing I learned yesterday: If you wanna make a "fancy" margarita, you can use Rose's lime juice instead of sour mix.
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GatorRob
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Aug 20, 2004
Posts: 1766
From: 3 hrs 33 mins to paradise
| Posted: 2006-09-14 11:12 am Permalink
OR-geet? KRAK-ow?!? Rose's Lime in a "fancy" Margarita? How do you manage to keep a straight face?
Ask him how he pronounces Cointreau. This should be good.
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DJ HawaiianShirt
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Feb 04, 2006
Posts: 148
From: NoVA, DC
| Posted: 2006-09-16 06:41 am Permalink
Ask him if a martini is made with vodka.
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GentleHangman
Grand Member (4 years)
Joined: Jun 23, 2006
Posts: 350
From: Stuart, Florida
| Posted: 2006-09-16 07:39 am Permalink
Ask him: "Would you rather be shaken or stirred?"
GH
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twitch
Grand Member (4 years)
Joined: May 12, 2006
Posts: 415
From: Vacant lot where T. Vic's, Van. was
| Posted: 2006-09-18 8:46 pm Permalink
Pappy - are those tears streaming down your cheeks from the strain of stifled laughter, or from the grief of all those innocent drinks being slaughtered?
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pappythesailor
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Jul 07, 2005
Posts: 1563
From: Mass.
| Posted: 2006-09-20 11:24 am Permalink
Before I start: The instructor can pronounce Cointreau. He went on a tirade about people who don't know what a martini is (gin and vermouth) but then he UNdid what he had just mended by going off on how picky martini people could be about their drinks. Then he got a half point BACK by picking on the guy who got snooty about his bar not having "pomegranite vodka".
Week 2: General ramblings about being a bartender. He then read to us (ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzz....)the recipes for twenty of the fifty most popular drinks (in the central MA area).
Interesting things I learned:
1) doctors, lawyers, accountants, insurance people, car dealers are the worst tippers
2) cops, firemen, construction workers and funeral directors are the best tippers
3) people are always trying to steal your corkscrew.(!) Try to keep it on your person.
4) mixers are anything non-alcoholic that you put in a drink
a) juices: orange, grapefruit, pineapple, cranberry and tomato juice are the juices you will use
b) I am able to control from screaming when lemon and lime are left out of the juice list
5) when someone asks for tonic, they don't mean they want soda or pop in their drink (You'll have to take my word for this. In Worcester County, "tonic" is a synonym for soda or pop, esp. with older people)
6) grenadine is cherry-flavored syrup made only by Rose's
7) rocks are ice cubes
 liquor proportions in drinks don't matter too much except for a few drinks like the Martini and Manhattan
9) in MA, any liquor you serve in a bar must be puchased from a licensed distributor. If the owner sends you in the back with a funnel, empty bottles & liquor from the NH state liquor store, lock the door!
10) Choosing a glass is easy!
Any mixed drink goes in a highball glass (10 oz)
Any drink with just hooch or teensy amount of mixer--rocks glass (5 oz)
Small drinks go in a cocktail or "up" glass.
Big drinks go in a shaker
Teensy drinks go in a shot glass.
11) Most small bars fill their top shelf bottles with whatever swill they can get for as long as they can get away with it. (We all knew this but it still hurts to know it for sure...)
First 20 drinks: Black Russian, Bloody Mary, Cape Codder, Mudslide, Fuzzy Navel, Greyhound, Kamikaze, Long Island Iced Tea, Madras, Melon Ball, Pearl Harbor, Screwdriver, Sea Breeze, Sex on the Beach, Vodka Collins (made with sour mix--yum!), Vodka Gimlet, White Russian, Frozen Mudslide, Hawaiian Seabreeze and the Woo Woo.
I don't really want to go anymore.
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Swanky
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Apr 03, 2002
Posts: 4807
From: Hapa Haole Hideaway, TN
| Posted: 2006-09-20 12:50 pm Permalink
Sounds like you may get lessons on how to scoop ice and pour out of a bottle. Proper shaking. Wiping the bar with a rag. Filling the bin with ice and getting a barback to do it... Lots of great bartending stuff... Got the money up front... He'll save the story about how he served a drink to Christie Brinkley for last...
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Chip and Andy
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Jul 13, 2004
Posts: 2079
From: Corner table, Molokai Lounge, Mai-Kai.
| Posted: 2006-09-20 2:20 pm Permalink
Quote:
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On 2006-09-20 11:24, pappythesailor wrote:
....I don't really want to go anymore. |
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Please keep going! I can't wait for week three! Maybe he is saving the best drinks and recipes for last......
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