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Tiki Central Forums » » Tiki Central Ohana » » new lease on life
new lease on life
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jun 13, 2006
Posts: 1434
From: San Diego
Posted: 2007-12-17 3:03 pm   Permalink

My girlfriend recently gave me an ultimatum: Quit drinking or she’d leave me. It was a difficult decision, but I reluctantly decided to make a symbolic gesture that our love was true and gathered up all the rum in the house.

I first opened the bottle of Myers, poured myself a drink to toast my future sobriety, drank the rum and poured the rest down the sink. Then I opened the Cruzan, poured and drank a glass, then emptied the rest of the bottle into the sink. Next I opened the Bacardee and drank the bottle, and poured the glass down the sink. Thn I opend the bottle of Appletoon took a shot, drunk a sink and purred the bottle down the hatch.

Nexxxt me opened up thuh bootle of Hava Clubb gargled a shoot and placed thah bittle on my head. Hee hee hee. I drained the sink down th buttle and parred miself anudder drink. After gett in the sink, an testin the Run Rico and Floor de Canna, I counted the bottles and the sinks, and poored the toast down that ol drain. Finelly came the Prusserers an the Gooslings, whitch I scolded an drinked an toosted an pored myself a sink. Leenin up agenst theee fluur, I dranked a shoot of rim, cownted the ceeling tiles and powered myself down the sink.

Den I git on tha compooter an sined upp on eharmony.

"I am Lono!" -- Hunter S. Thompson

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Jungle Trader
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jan 04, 2003
Posts: 3755
From: Trader's Jungle Outpost, Turlock, Ca.
Posted: 2007-12-17 4:47 pm   Permalink

HAHA! Love it. I'm alomost theer. hickup

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Tiki Socialite

Joined: Apr 29, 2004
Posts: 446
From: Sarasota, Fla.
Posted: 2008-08-06 5:07 pm   Permalink

your twin was at my house last weekend.


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Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jan 09, 2004
Posts: 10397
From: Port Saint Lucie, Florida
Posted: 2008-08-13 02:22 am   Permalink

Do you have a new girl friend yet?


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Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jun 17, 2008
Posts: 798
From: Satellite Beach, FL
Posted: 2008-08-13 06:55 am   Permalink

Some doctor on the telly this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see the things I'd started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Bwandy, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a bo! x a chocolets. Yu haf no idr who gud I fel. Pelase sen dis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov inr pece.
Pupule Tiki!

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Tiki Trav
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Sep 25, 2006
Posts: 639
From: NSW Central Coast, Australia
Posted: 2008-08-13 12:51 pm   Permalink

Comedy Gold!

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Tiki Centralite

Joined: Jun 11, 2008
Posts: 12
Posted: 2008-08-21 7:11 pm   Permalink


Amazing. Hope eharmony works out for you!


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Tiki Socialite

Joined: Aug 10, 2004
Posts: 9192
From: Anaheim,Ca.
Posted: 2008-08-23 3:06 pm   Permalink



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