||new lease on life
Joined: Jun 13, 2006
From: Dog Patch - San Diego
|Posted: 2007-12-17 3:03 pm  Permalink|
My girlfriend recently gave me an ultimatum: Quit drinking or she’d leave me. It was a difficult decision, but I reluctantly decided to make a symbolic gesture that our love was true and gathered up all the rum in the house.
I first opened the bottle of Myers, poured myself a drink to toast my future sobriety, drank the rum and poured the rest down the sink. Then I opened the Cruzan, poured and drank a glass, then emptied the rest of the bottle into the sink. Next I opened the Bacardee and drank the bottle, and poured the glass down the sink. Thn I opend the bottle of Appletoon took a shot, drunk a sink and purred the bottle down the hatch.
Nexxxt me opened up thuh bootle of Hava Clubb gargled a shoot and placed thah bittle on my head. Hee hee hee. I drained the sink down th buttle and parred miself anudder drink. After gett in the sink, an testin the Run Rico and Floor de Canna, I counted the bottles and the sinks, and poored the toast down that ol drain. Finelly came the Prusserers an the Gooslings, whitch I scolded an drinked an toosted an pored myself a sink. Leenin up agenst theee fluur, I dranked a shoot of rim, cownted the ceeling tiles and powered myself down the sink.
Den I git on tha compooter an sined upp on eharmony.
"I am Lono!" -- Hunter S. Thompson
Joined: Jan 04, 2003
From: Trader's Jungle Outpost, Turlock, Ca.
|Posted: 2007-12-17 4:47 pm  Permalink|
HAHA! Love it. I'm alomost theer. hickup
Joined: Apr 29, 2004
From: Sarasota, Fla.
|Posted: 2008-08-06 5:07 pm  Permalink|
your twin was at my house last weekend.
Joined: Jan 09, 2004
From: Port Saint Lucie, Florida
|Posted: 2008-08-13 02:22 am  Permalink|
Do you have a new girl friend yet?
Joined: Jun 17, 2008
From: Satellite Beach, FL
|Posted: 2008-08-13 06:55 am  Permalink|
Some doctor on the telly this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see the things I'd started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Bwandy, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a bo! x a chocolets. Yu haf no idr who gud I fel. Pelase sen dis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov inr pece.
Joined: Sep 25, 2006
From: NSW Central Coast, Australia
|Posted: 2008-08-13 12:51 pm  Permalink|
Joined: Jun 11, 2008
|Posted: 2008-08-21 7:11 pm  Permalink|
Amazing. Hope eharmony works out for you!
Joined: Aug 10, 2004
|Posted: 2008-08-23 3:06 pm  Permalink|