||MadDog Mike's Platterful of Pupule - 100 Years of Stephen Crane Art Swap
Joined: Jun 08, 2003
From: Lancaster, SC
|Posted: 2012-09-10 06:44 am  Permalink|
Mike, that bottle is very cool. Love the finished look and glad to see that the hemp cord did add a bit of marking and wasn't just a dumb idea. WOOHOO!!
Ok...I'm ready to see more stuff now. Well done!
Joined: Oct 19, 2004
|Posted: 2012-09-10 06:51 am  Permalink|
Very nice, sir. I could see that with two little handles on the neck as a tiki drink canteen!
Joined: Jul 18, 2010
From: Las Vegas
|Posted: 2012-09-10 07:27 am  Permalink|
I like it
Looks very cool mad dog
Came out great
Should look great in the Vamp lounge
Worst sound ever, slurp of an empty tiki mug through my straw!!!
|Atomic Tiki Punk|
Joined: Jul 19, 2009
From: Costa Misery
|Posted: 2012-09-10 11:27 am  Permalink|
Mike, Your a creative animal!
|little lost tiki|
Joined: Jun 12, 2006
From: Orange,CA-right near the Circle!
|Posted: 2012-09-10 11:40 am  Permalink|
Totally looks like an old artifact!
Mike-you never cease to Amaze.....
When we gonna have a weekend Art jam?!?!?!?!
Grand Member (8 years)
Joined: Jun 17, 2002
|Posted: 2012-09-10 10:30 pm  Permalink|
Wow that Trader Vic's bottle is so terrific that you should show them what can be done. Vamp you are so lucky. It's just outstanding. Mike you are the bomb and the wick on fire. Wendy
Joined: Jul 03, 2011
|Posted: 2012-09-11 5:19 pm  Permalink|
The bottle came out great Mike!
And I can't wait for Camo's hacker to finish the story.... LOL.
Joined: Nov 25, 2004
|Posted: 2012-09-11 8:12 pm  Permalink|
Cammo don't leave that there cock hangin' that'd be jus' imperlite.
Beautiful bottle Mike!
Joined: May 18, 2006
From: San Diego
|Posted: 2012-09-12 08:02 am  Permalink|
Helen Saves The Schoolhouse
Then the schoolteacher, you know, old Mr. Hassam, you remember him? Well, he come around the corner just as I was plucking Charlie Chillwutt’s cock once and you should have heard him, it was like I was doing something wrong! He yelled at me and got mad at me and I had to explain that I knew I wasn’t too good at it but I was just a beginner and I needed practice.
Well, Schoolteacher Friggins kept me after school that day and scolded me and told me I was a real bad girl but he’d make me a good one by showing me the secret techniques of cock plucking that they taught him at teachers school. Then he brought out his cock, and you know what? That was the biggest, ripest, bright reddest, most muscular cock I ever seen, Schoolteacher Friggins was real proud of his cock and I told him he should put it in the State Fair cause that cock would get a couple of gold medals and he could brag about it until he was old and rocking on the porch every day. No, Schoolteacher Friggins said, this cock needs plucking. Right now it needs plucking but I wasn’t supposed to tell anybody I was learning it from him because it would “ruin my amateur standing” whatever that meant. If ever there was a cock that needed it, his cock was it, and he showed me how to start at the bottom and work my way right up to the head and then go over it all over again carefully and slowly, getting it right, then finish up real fast yanking and yanking until it was plucked and plucked good. Now it seemed like Friggins had a whole farmyard of bright red cocks cause every single day he’s bring in a new cock and pop it out right in front of me and tell me to get to work on it.”
“Good fer YOU!” yelled BadDog, “That’s my girl!”
“Yeah, I was doing pretty good, huh? But then the darkest of dark days came along. Schoolteacher Friggins gave a speech first thing in the morning to the whole school, all fourteen of us, and he told us that our school was going to be condemned on the basis of a definite lack of achievement scores in comparison to national standards of scientific acumen.”
“What?” said BadDog.
“Don’t make me say it again. It was hard enough the first time.” says Helen, “So he says we’re all gonna have to go to the big school, maybe as far away as Hopkinsville and have to wear shoes and do Geography and Number Learning just like the rest of the kids. And the schoolhouse would be bulldozed down and probably be given over to feedcorn farming. And he was awful sad about it all. And the Commissioner of Internal Academic Affairs, don’t make me say that again or I’ll hawl back and slap you BadDog, that Commissioner was coming that very day to close the school and kick us all out.”
Helen stopped and caught her breath.
“So what happened?”
“What happened is one of the most amazing things I ever seen. All day long Schoolteacher Friggins was moping around looking awful droop-tailed and down, he was way down in the dirt he was, and when the Commissioner arrived in a big black truck out front towards the end of school, he looked even more miserable if that was possible. Then he sort of looked at me and I looked at him and BAM! It was like Schoolteacher Friggins was struck by lightening and got religion and suddenly looked happier than three puppies in the morning! He jumped up and ran outside and shook that Commissioner’s hand like he was an old friend and slapped him on the back, and pushed him inside the schoolroom and he started bragging about us! He said we were the best, smartest and most terrific kids in the whole dang You-Nited States and he could PROVE it and there was no way he could close the school down if we broke every academic record in the whole world right there in front of him! Then he said he’d pick the smartest kid in the whole school and get show the Commissioner what he was talking about.”
“Well, that Commissioner was looking at him, then at the schoolroom with no floor, we still had a dirt floor that year, and at us sitting there and we all looked at Schoolteacher Friggins like he had gone crazy, which was the only explanation I could think of or anybody else could either!”
Then the Schoolteacher bragged about his best student, and said all kinds of crazy stuff about Grade Point Averages and Unique Testing Scores and said his best student could ace them all, and then he said,
“Let me introduce you to my best student. Her name is ...
It was me he was talking about!
And then he said that class was dismissed and everybody should go home and not worry about the school being closed, cause that weren’t gonna happen. And then it was just me and those two men in the room and BOY was I scared! But I shut up and let Schoolteacher Friggins have his say cause he was cruisin’ at 90 now and there weren’t no way to stop him.
“Go ahead,” Schoolteacher Friggins says, “Quiz Helen on any subject you can name.”
“Alright,” the Commissioner says, taking the bait, “Helen, what’s the square root of 144 divided by the square root of 100?” Then he smiled.
“Um,” says me, “What’s a square root?”
“It’s a mathematical definition.”
“What’s a mathematical definition?”
“It’s something you learn in Math Class.”
“What’s Math Class?”
“It’s how you learn to add and subtract numbers.”
“Is a number the things at the end of the alphabet?”
Well that got the Commissioner read mad, he looked at me and Schoolteacher Friggins and looked like he was gonna kick us both right there, but Schoolteacher jumps in all smiling and says quick -
“You haven’t asked her about American History. That’s one of her best subjects!”
“Alright,” Commissioner says, hands on his hips, “Helen, where was the Declaration of Independence signed?”
“On a table?”
“Yes, on a table, but what city?”
“Uh, Independence, Missouri?”
“Close, it’s a little East of there.” Schoolteacher Friggins whispered to me.
“Um, St. Louis?”
Commissioner threw up both of his hands. “This is the most pathetic example of American Educational Decay I have ever witnessed! Never in all my travels have I ever seen a more dirty, vile and miserable excuse for a schoolroom and if I ever get out of...” and he started walking to the door like he was gonna knock it down himself and the whole building too, but Schoolteacher Friggins beat him to the door and stood there in his way, smiling like summer sunshine all the same.
“You didn’t ask me what her BEST subject is. History is her second best, not the first.” Schoolteacher says.
Commissioner stops right there. Something about Schoolteacher stops him and you can just see the little question marks popping out of his head. He looks right at Schoolteacher and asks him in a real serious voice, I never heard such a serious voice ever -
“What’s her best subject?”
“Well, you just LAY YOUR COCK RIGHT HERE ON MY TABLE AND SHE’LL SHOW YOU!”
And you know what? That Commissioner was a fair and able man and he had his cock with him, most men from Kentucky carry their cocks around wherever they go, you know, just in case, and he had that cock out on the table faster than you could say Jack Sprat and then Schoolteacher yells
“GO HELEN! Pluck it right now! DELUXE VERSION 3, just like I TAUGHT YOU! YEEEEEEHAAAW!”
And I rips off my shirt to get a better grab and jumps right on that cock and starts plucking lick the dickens. I thinks this is it, this is my shining moment, my whole life has been leading up to this and this is it, the Olympics of plucking and I was America’s one chance for a medal so I plucked and plucked and the whole schoolroom started swaying back and forth with the intensity and the velocity of my fierce plucking Commissioner looks happy but sort of scared, and then suddenly Schoolteacher Frigginswheips out his big red cock and yells
“TWO AT ONCE!”
...and throws it down on the table beside me so I grab that one too and I’m working up a pretty good sweat now but that ain’t nothing cause I done two before, both hands at the same time and then I think I was the one who went crazy cause everything starts going into bright colors and there were explosions going off all around me and I think the table broke in half and there was a lot of screaming and bellowing then I blacked out and when I came to everybody was lying on the floor beside me and those two cocks were good and plucked, all limp and laying there flat.
Those cocks never had a chance.
Commissioner was the first one to move. He sort of nods his head a bit and shakes it back and forth. He looks around like he can’t believe what happened and then he nudges Schoolteacher Friggins awake. They both sit up with a bit of a smile and Commissioner says,
“Well, that was really something.”
Which was not what he meant. What he meant was that he liked me plucking his cock, he must have liked it a WHOLE LOT because he said he’d keep the schoolhouse in business, give Schoolteacher Friggins a raise in pay (double!) give the schoolhouse a brand new oak wood floor, donate a whole lot of books to us, and put us on the National Register of Historic Buildings or something like that to make sure that the excellent quality of the education available here at Woodrose Corners Schoolhouse #1 would be available for generations of young women to come.
He also said that he would personally oversee the improvements and that he’d be bringing new cocks this way for quite some time if it wasn’t too much trouble for me.
I said it weren't too much trouble at all, thank you sir.
Grand Member (8 years)
Joined: Mar 30, 2008
From: The Anvil of the Sun
|Posted: 2012-09-12 10:18 am  Permalink|
Cammo - whoever is hacking into your account deserves a Pullitzer prize!
Vamp - glad you like it, I hope to get it in the mail this week
LittleGiles, Hang10, ATP, Lori & Tiger - thank you very much!
Kinny - what do you say we meet half way? Say, Buzzy's house on the 29th. One of these days I'll make it up there for a weekend artjam at your studio!
Hale - great idea about the handles, see below. I wanted to do some twine or wire to make marks diagonally across the body of the body, handles will give a place to attach the wire or twine.
I'm working on a pirate rum bottle next. The pirate is from a candy mold and I think I'll put a "Why is the rum all gone?" inscription on it.
I have a runny green glaze that I'm going to experiment with. I think patches of that with the saggar firing will look like algae on a ship wreck treasure.
I ordered half a dozen corks so I have more bottles planned
Gellhorn - "There's a lot of rum in this rum"
Hemingway - "In this joint they don't drink to get drunk, they drink to stay drunk"
Joined: Mar 10, 2011
From: Gresham, Oregon
|Posted: 2012-09-12 10:44 am  Permalink|
Great looking rum bottle MadDog!
Joined: Feb 06, 2010
|Posted: 2012-09-12 11:20 am  Permalink|
Awesome work on the bottles Mike! The pirate one looks very promising!
Joined: Oct 19, 2004
|Posted: 2012-09-12 1:02 pm  Permalink|
See. They look freaking awesome. I dig the skull too, man. Looks good.
Joined: May 18, 2006
From: San Diego
|Posted: 2012-09-12 1:55 pm  Permalink|
Nice bottle, the green is great, maybe you can drip some dark glaze down from the top like it's bubbling out!
I have to really sincerely apologize about that last post, apparently it isn't as easy to protect your TC account as I thought. For security purposes I have only given my password out to MadDogMike, tonga hut, Swanky, Soccertiki, Woohoowahine, BayParkBuzzy, Sandra Dee, bigtikidude, Otto, JOHN-O, Bora Boris, Big Vic, Rongo29, Atomic Tiki Punk and hanford_lemoore.
So I think it's safe. Should be no more problems. Sorry again, MadDog!
|Atomic Tiki Punk|
Joined: Jul 19, 2009
From: Costa Misery
|Posted: 2012-09-12 2:07 pm  Permalink|
Can you resend that password, Cammo....
Mike, Now your just making the rest of us look bad
Here is to you