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Tiki Central Forums General Tiki Tiki Jokes?
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Tiki Jokes?
professahhummingflowah
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Mar 11, 2005
Posts: 296
From: honolulu, hawaii & boston, ma
Posted: 2007-04-10 12:54 pm   Permalink

Quote:

On 2003-03-14 18:53, GECKO wrote:
this is not a tiki joke but I know you guys on da mainland don't see signs like dis often or at all....unless ya'll from da deep country. you get signs like lost dog or cat. I thought it was funny.

or a Filipino family eating pork adobo....eww you guys gotta try dat on da mainland!!! if you gotta a Filipino friend, ask dem to make you pork adobo. (or chicken)
if you don't have a Filipino friend, GET ONE!
great cusine!



NAH CUZ! U GOTTA ASK FO DA 'CHOCOLATE MEAT' ... DINIGUAN STEW!!!!!!!

HAHAHA i laughing too....
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Tamapoutini
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Aug 30, 2006
Posts: 1530
From: Aotearoa (New Zealand)
Posted: 2007-06-29 02:04 am   Permalink

(rescued from pg5!! outrageous.)



---
Knock, knock...
---



T3


 
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finkdaddy
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 11, 2004
Posts: 2061
From: Wisconsin
Posted: 2007-06-29 04:37 am   Permalink

Who's there?

 
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Tamapoutini
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Aug 30, 2006
Posts: 1530
From: Aotearoa (New Zealand)
Posted: 2007-06-30 7:13 pm   Permalink

Tiki... (of course!)

T3


 
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The Gnomon
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 01, 2007
Posts: 1293
From: MD-DC-VA
Posted: 2007-07-16 09:14 am   Permalink

I am Ishmael.

In his quest to vanquish Moby Dick, Captain Ahab has brought a giant tiki onto the Pequod, a tiki known as Tangaroa, one of the great gods and god of the sea. The captain commanded Tangaroa to guide the ship to the great white whale.

What the captain did not realize was that this tiki god represents all sea creatures and not humans. So when Moby Dick was sighted and the captain cast off in the harpoon boat he was in for plenty of trouble.

Captain Ahab shot the harpoon into the white whale, but Moby Dick was too powerful and was only angered. In the process, the captain became entangled in the harpoon line, was snatched from the boat into the rough sea, and soon found himself lashed to the whale, unable to free himself.

The first mate shouted out from the Pequod, "Captain! What are your orders?"

The captain shouted back, "Ask the tiki and hurry!"

So the first mate called out to the great Tangaroa, "Oh, mighy tiki god of the sea, what is your order?"

Then, in a deep resounding voice that could be heard throughout the entire ship the tiki god spoke, "I'll have a venti triple shot, double pump, no whip, skim, Raspberry Mocha and a doppio skim Espresso Macchiato".






Whether that's a joke or not remains to be seen. I just made it up today on my way back from Starbucks. This 'joke' assumes that everyone knows Starbuck was the first mate.


 
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finkdaddy
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 11, 2004
Posts: 2061
From: Wisconsin
Posted: 2007-07-16 09:33 am   Permalink

Quote:

On 2007-06-30 19:13, Tamapoutini wrote:
Tiki... (of course!)

T3



Tiki who?
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Leeward Lounge Ukuleles

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Tamapoutini
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Aug 30, 2006
Posts: 1530
From: Aotearoa (New Zealand)
Posted: 2007-07-16 5:59 pm   Permalink

Jeez, it's been so long Ive forgotten the punchline...

---
A: er, Tiki your hands up; this is a robbery!
---

(ok lame, but at least Im trying) Tiki jokes anyone..?

T


 
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MadDogMike
Grand Member (8 years)  

Joined: Mar 30, 2008
Posts: 8755
From: The Anvil of the Sun
Posted: 2017-07-10 11:28 am   Permalink

Did you hear about the Polynesian Chieftan who collected chairs carved from stone? He collected so many that his grass hut was completely filled with these chairs. So his collection spilled over to the attic (sounds familiar?) One night while he was sleeping, the bamboo rafters gave way and the stone chairs crushed him to death. The moral of the story is that people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
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aquarj
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Apr 02, 2002
Posts: 1104
From: SF bay area, CA
Posted: 2017-07-13 11:06 am   Permalink

Quote:
On 2017-07-10 11:28, MadDogMike wrote:
...people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.


Ding ding ding! Great one!

-Randy


 
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KokoKele
Tiki Centralite

Joined: Feb 08, 2012
Posts: 93
Posted: 2017-07-21 12:00 am   Permalink

What did the tiki do when his political party chopped him with an axe?
He joined a splinter group!


 
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KokoKele
Tiki Centralite

Joined: Feb 08, 2012
Posts: 93
Posted: 2017-07-21 12:01 am   Permalink

Who's the greatest tiki lawman?
The Lono Ranger!


 
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KokoKele
Tiki Centralite

Joined: Feb 08, 2012
Posts: 93
Posted: 2017-07-21 12:03 am   Permalink

What happens when the tiki snuggles with his girlfriend?
He gets wood!


 
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KokoKele
Tiki Centralite

Joined: Feb 08, 2012
Posts: 93
Posted: 2017-07-21 12:05 am   Permalink

Why did the cracked tiki mug give up drinking?
He couldn't hold his liquor!


 
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KokoKele
Tiki Centralite

Joined: Feb 08, 2012
Posts: 93
Posted: 2017-07-21 12:08 am   Permalink

What did the tiki name the little son that Crazy Al carved for him?
Chip!


 
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KokoKele
Tiki Centralite

Joined: Feb 08, 2012
Posts: 93
Posted: 2017-07-21 12:11 am   Permalink

What party do they throw when a Jewish tiki comes of age?
A Tiki Bar Mitzvah!


 
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