FEATURES | MUSIC | BOOKS | DRINKS | FORUMS | GAMES | LINKS | ABOUT


advertise on Tiki Central

Celebrating classic and modern Polynesian Pop
  [Edit Profile]  [Edit Preferences]  [Search] [Sign Up]
[Personal Messages]  [Member List]  [Help/FAQ]  [Rules]  [Login]
Tiki Central Forums » » Bilge » » I'm Just Glad That Cows Can't Fly
I'm Just Glad That Cows Can't Fly
woofmutt
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Mar 26, 2002
Posts: 2605
From: Seattilite Telstar
Posted: 2010-03-27 08:53 am   Permalink

Here's a picture I took in Chinatown yesterday afternoon. It came at a price, a story I'll tell you below the photo. But it's fairly disgusting so don't read while eating breakfast or lunch or if you're easily grossed out.




Late in the afternoon on Friday, March 26th I was in Chinatown. The sun was out and there was some great light on the old buildings and I was wandering around taking useless photos. I took the above shot of the tree and poles and wires and stepped a few feet west to see the other side of the building. As I was looking up at the building a pigeon shit in my mouth.

No, my mouth was not wide open, it was just open enough that as the pigeon shit made an angular splash across my face and shoulder a dollop of it landed right inside the corner of my mouth.

As I began spitting the slightly salty and acidic but otherwise flavorless pigeon shit (now you know) out of my mouth I wasn’t so much disgusted by the immediate situation as I was concerned about all the diseases one might be exposed to via pigeon shit. Yes, it was disgusting, but the idea that I could become “Patient X” for the next wave of deadly bird flu was really really annoying.

I grabbed a bandana I usually have in my satchel and wiped the affected part of my mouth. I was spitting and cussing when a semi-present possibly drunk woman who had been the one human witness to the pigeon’s triumph commented on the birds shitting on people.

"One just shit in my mouth," I told her.

"Oh," she replied, "Oh yeah, the birds they...I'll remember you."

Unimpressed with the impression I had made I headed around the corner to Bush Gardens where I was meeting friends for Happy Hour. I walked in and right to the bar and said to the bartender "I'm going to be having a drink, but first I need a glass of water because a pigeon just shit in my mouth." He didn't even hesitate and gave me a glass of water.

I headed to the bathroom and rinsed. I noticed the soap dispenser, added a small shot to the glass, swirled, and rinsed. I did that again, and again, and again, and again.

My phone rang, it was Sparky. He and Cookie had just arrived at Bush Gardens and he was asking where I was.

"I am in the Bush Gardens bathroom because the second worst thing that can happen to someone in the city just happened to me."

"A bum shit on you," Sparky replied without hesitating.

"I said the second worst thing."

"A bum puked on you."

"OK, the fourth worse thing," I said, skipping what I knew would be number three.

"A bird shit on you," he said again without hesitation.

"Not on me," I replied, "A pigeon shit in my mouth."

“What, were you staring up at the sky with your mouth wide open?” he asked.

Sparky had called from the bar and I told him to buy me vodka so I could rinse with that. I figured having a pigeon shit in your mouth was probably on a list of situations that allowed you to demand a friend buy you a drink.

I walked back to the bar and handed the bartender the glass.

"It's been rinsed with lots of soap and water,” I told him so he wouldn't think I had brought back a glass covered in spit and pigeon shit.

"You know that's good luck," the bartender said to me.

"A pigeon shitting in your mouth is good luck?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes, good luck. People get shit on by birds, it's good luck."

"I think you're just making that up, but thanks."

I asked Sparky if he'd got me a vodka. Sparky said the booze would have to be at least 50% alcohol in order to be effective.

"You should get a shot of 151," he said.

I asked the bartender if they had 151 rum. He said they did and I ordered a shot.

“I got this,” the bartender said refusing my money. I think he knew the incredible luck I had brought into the bar meant it would be a profitable evening. I tipped him a couple bucks, headed back to the bathroom, and on the way took a good big sip of the rum and rinsed.

“I think that was a mistake,“ I thought having forgotten the feel of 151 in the mouth. My tongue, cheeks, and roof of my mouth felt as if they were giving up their outer layer of skin.

I walked into the bathroom and spit the 151 in the sink. I added some water to the remainder and rinsed again and followed that up with a few more rinses. There was one other guy in the bathroom and I apologized for all the rinsing and spitting into the sink.

“A pigeon shit in my mouth,” I explained.

“You should buy a lottery ticket,” he replied.




[ This Message was edited by: woofmutt 2012-06-11 16:12 while he was revisiting this message and saw a glaring spelling error.]





[ This Message was edited by: woofmutt 2012-06-11 16:12 ]


 
View Profile of woofmutt Send a personal message to woofmutt  Email woofmutt Goto the website of woofmutt     Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
beadtiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Aug 24, 2007
Posts: 929
From: Bothell, Washington
Posted: 2010-03-27 09:04 am   Permalink

Ewwwwww - glad I was only drinking my coffee sans creamer! Good luck Woofy - hope you didn't contract some dreadful bird flu!
_________________


 
View Profile of beadtiki Send a personal message to beadtiki      Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
woofmutt
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Mar 26, 2002
Posts: 2605
From: Seattilite Telstar
Posted: 2010-03-27 09:16 am   Permalink

There is the possibility the bird had been eating radioactive bread crumbs and I will now have some sorta pigeon based superhuman powers.
_________________
Attribution is the sincerest form of flattery.


 
View Profile of woofmutt Send a personal message to woofmutt  Email woofmutt Goto the website of woofmutt     Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
talo ka
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 26, 2007
Posts: 451
From: tampa, fla
Posted: 2010-03-27 09:56 am   Permalink

lemme know if you feel a strong desire to sit atop of statues and poop too.

 
View Profile of talo ka Send a personal message to talo ka      Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
Jungle Trader
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jan 04, 2003
Posts: 3736
From: Trader's Jungle Outpost, Turlock, Ca.
Posted: 2010-03-27 10:55 am   Permalink

damn you woof, this story should be in "Wild, and Notso Wild America" Good story, did you buy a lottery ticket? That would count as 10 tickets.
_________________

Oki NiKsoKoWa
(Hello all my relatives)
TikiJungle.com

 View Profile of Jungle Trader Send a personal message to Jungle Trader  Goto the website of Jungle Trader     Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
Unga Bunga
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jun 06, 2003
Posts: 5822
From: CaliTikifornia
Posted: 2010-03-27 1:25 pm   Permalink

Quote:

On 2010-03-27 09:16, woofmutt wrote:
I'm Just Glad That Cows Can't Fly




Fetchez La Vache!


COW-Abunga!


 View Profile of Unga Bunga Send a personal message to Unga Bunga      Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
little lost tiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jun 12, 2006
Posts: 7594
From: Orange,CA-right near the Circle!
Posted: 2010-03-30 4:13 pm   Permalink

sounds like you won the PIGEON LOTTERY!

say the word
and we'll gather up the crew
and go Pigeon hunting!


 
View Profile of little lost tiki Send a personal message to little lost tiki  Email little lost tiki Goto the website of little lost tiki     Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
woofmutt
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Mar 26, 2002
Posts: 2605
From: Seattilite Telstar
Posted: 2010-03-31 07:25 am   Permalink

If we start a hunt every time something shits on us next thing you know we'll be in an office building hunting down critics.
_________________
Attribution is the sincerest form of flattery.


 
View Profile of woofmutt Send a personal message to woofmutt  Email woofmutt Goto the website of woofmutt     Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
The Gnomon
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 01, 2007
Posts: 1293
From: MD-DC-VA
Posted: 2010-03-31 11:45 am   Permalink

Apparently, all of the real health hazards associated with pigeon poop is after it has dried. It is susceptible to fungi that can cause disease in humans once it has dried and become airborne. Here is part of an article posted on nyc.gov (as if NYC had pigeon problems) regarding the possible ailments.

===

Pigeons are common to New York City. They often make nests in buildings and rapidly reproduce. Breeding occurs throughout the year, usually taking place between March and July. During these months, the DOHMH often receives questions about possible health risks associated with cleaning pigeon droppings. Contact with pigeon droppings may pose a small health risk. Three human diseases are known to be associated with pigeon droppings: histoplasmosis, cryptococcosis, and psittacosis.

Histoplasmosis
Histoplasmosis is a disease caused by a fungus, which grows in pigeon droppings. It also grows in soils and is found throughout the world. When cleaning droppings a person may breathe in some of the fungus, which in cases of high exposure can cause infection. Common activities, such as cleaning off windowsills, will not result in high exposures.

Symptoms of histoplasmosis begin to appear about 10 days after initial infection and include fatigue, fever, and chest pains. Most people, however, do not show any symptoms. Those with compromised immune systems such as cancer patients or people living with HIV/AIDS are generally more at risk of developing histoplasmosis. The disease cannot be transmitted from person to person.

Cryptococcosis
Cryptococcosis is another fungal disease associated with pigeon droppings and also grows in soils throughout the world. It is very unlikely that healthy people will become infected even at high levels of exposure. A major risk factor for infection is a compromised immune system. According to the US Centers for Disease Control (CDC), nearly 85 percent of cryptococcosis patients are HIV-positive.

Psittacosis
Psittacosis (also known as ornithosis or parrot fever) is a rare infectious disease that mainly affects parrots and parrot-like birds such as cockatiels, and parakeets, but may also affect other birds, such as pigeons. When bird droppings dry and become airborne people may inhale them and get sick.

In humans, this bacterial disease is characterized by: fatigue, fever, headache, rash, chills, and sometimes pneumonia. Symptoms develop about 10 days after exposure. Psittacosis can be treated with a common antibiotic.

Since 1996, fewer than 50 confirmed cases were reported in the United States annually. In New York City, psittacosis is very rare with less than one human case identified each year. According to the CDC, about 70% of infected people had contact with infected pet birds. Those at greatest risk include bird owners, pet shop employees, veterinarians, and people with compromised immune systems. No person-to-person cases have ever been reported.

===




[ This Message was edited by: The Gnomon 2010-03-31 11:59 ]


 
View Profile of The Gnomon Send a personal message to The Gnomon      Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
Unga Bunga
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jun 06, 2003
Posts: 5822
From: CaliTikifornia
Posted: 2010-03-31 12:41 pm   Permalink

Woof, I'm sure you've seen this.
It's an old FAIL! clip.

FAIL!


 View Profile of Unga Bunga Send a personal message to Unga Bunga      Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
woofmutt
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Mar 26, 2002
Posts: 2605
From: Seattilite Telstar
Posted: 2010-03-31 6:09 pm   Permalink

Interesting information, The Gnomon. I had meant to look into it but got distracted with a newly developed interest in bread crumbs and freshly washed cars.

Other than the extremely rare Psittacosis it seems the main risk comes from things the average city dweller is probably inhales on a regular basis.


No, Unga Bunga, I have not seen that clip (still) as I watch very little video online (other than the "Look in the lower right corner of the frame, how the mountain background has been manipulated to hide whatever is throwing the shadow across the general and congressmen..." clips Liloti send me links to) and I am one of those underprivileged Americans NPR just did a story on who doesn't have high speed Internet access from home.
_________________
Attribution is the sincerest form of flattery.


 
View Profile of woofmutt Send a personal message to woofmutt  Email woofmutt Goto the website of woofmutt     Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
Jungle Trader
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jan 04, 2003
Posts: 3736
From: Trader's Jungle Outpost, Turlock, Ca.
Posted: 2010-04-01 9:34 pm   Permalink

Okay this isn't bird crap in the mouth, something else and extremely funny. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAznSouZS80
_________________

Oki NiKsoKoWa
(Hello all my relatives)
TikiJungle.com


 View Profile of Jungle Trader Send a personal message to Jungle Trader  Goto the website of Jungle Trader     Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
Hakalugi
Site Administrator

Joined: Aug 10, 2004
Posts: 3093
From: Redondo Beach, CA
Posted: 2010-04-01 11:37 pm   Permalink

Quote:

On 2010-03-31 12:41, Unga Bunga wrote:
Woof, I'm sure you've seen this.
It's an old FAIL! clip.

FAIL!




That reporter has some pretty bad luck. Check out this clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-fAajaSeiA

 View Profile of Hakalugi Send a personal message to Hakalugi      Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
beadtiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Aug 24, 2007
Posts: 929
From: Bothell, Washington
Posted: 2010-04-02 11:06 am   Permalink

Like Woof - I rarely look at videos because my computer spends MOST of the time buffering, etc. However, I just couldn't resist. Yuck (as in "gross) and yuck-yuck-yuck (as in LOL). That one reporter really got a bad case of potty mouth from whatever flew into it!
_________________


 
View Profile of beadtiki Send a personal message to beadtiki      Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
lucas vigor
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 12, 2004
Posts: 3985
From: SOCAL
Posted: 2010-04-02 11:59 am   Permalink

Quote:

On 2010-03-27 08:53, woofmutt wrote:
Here's a picture I took in Chinatown yesterday afternoon. It came at a price, a story I'll tell you below the photo. But it's fairly disgusting so don't read while eating breakfast or lunch or if you're easily grossed out.




Late in the afternoon on Friday, March 26th I was in Chinatown. The sun was out and there was some great light on the old buildings and I was wandering around taking useless photos. I took the above shot of the tree and poles and wires and stepped a few feet west to see the other side of the building. As I was looking up at the building a pigeon shit in my mouth.

No, my mouth was not wide open, it was just open enough that as the pigeon shit made an angular splash across my face and shoulder a dollop of it landed right inside the corner of my mouth.

As I began spitting the slightly salty and acidic but otherwise flavorless pigeon shit (now you know) out of my mouth I wasn’t so much disgusted by the immediate situation as I was concerned about all the diseases one might be exposed to via pigeon shit. Yes, it was disgusting, but the idea that I could become “Patient X” for the next wave of deadly bird flu was really really annoying.

I grabbed a bandana I usually have in my satchel and wiped the affected part of my mouth. I was spitting and cussing when a semi-present possibly drunk woman who had been the one human witness to the pigeon’s triumph commented on the birds shitting on people.

"One just shit in my mouth," I told her.

"Oh," she replied, "Oh yeah, the birds they...I'll remember you."

Unimpressed with the impression I had made I headed around the corner to Bush Gardens where I was meeting friends for Happy Hour. I walked in and right to the bar and said to the bartender "I'm going to be having a drink, but first I need a glass of water because a pigeon just shit in my mouth." He didn't even hesitate and gave me a glass of water.

I headed to the bathroom and rinsed. I noticed the soap dispenser, added a small shot to the glass, swirled, and rinsed. I did that again, and again, and again, and again.

My phone rang, it was Sparky. He and Cookie had just arrived at Bush Gardens and he was asking where I was.

I am in the Bush Gardens bathroom because the second worst thing that can happen to someone in the city just happened to me."

"A bum shit on you," Sparky replied without hesitating.

"I said the second worst thing."

"A bum puked on you."

"OK, the fourth worse thing," I said, skipping what I knew would be number three.

"A bird shit on you," he said again without hesitation.

"Not on me," I replied, "A pigeon shit in my mouth."

“What, were you staring up at the sky with your mouth wide open?” he asked.

Sparky had called from the bar and I told him to buy me vodka so I could rinse with that. I figured having a pigeon shit in your mouth was probably on a list of situations that allowed you to demand a friend buy you a drink.

I walked back to the bar and handed the bartender the glass.

"It's been rinsed with lots of soap and water,” I told him so he wouldn't think I had brought back a glass covered in spit and pigeon shit.

"You know that's good luck," the bartender said to me.

"A pigeon shitting in your mouth is good luck?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes, good luck. People get shit on by birds, it's good luck."

"I think you're just making that up, but thanks."

I asked Sparky if he'd got me a vodka. Sparky said the booze would have to be at least 50% alcohol in order to be effective.

"You should get a shot of 151," he said.

I asked the bartender if they had 151 rum. He said they did and I ordered a shot.

“I got this,” the bartender said refusing my money. I think he knew the incredible luck I had brought into the bar meant it would be a profitable evening. I tipped him a couple bucks, headed back to the bathroom, and on the way took a good big sip of the rum and rinsed.

“I think that was a mistake,“ I thought having forgotten the feel of 151 in the mouth. My tongue, cheeks, and roof of my mouth felt as if they were giving up their outer layer of skin.

I walked into the bathroom and spit the 151 in the sink. I added some water to the remainder and rinsed again and followed that up with a few more rinses. There was one other guy in the bathroom and I apologized for all the rinsing and spitting into the sink.

“A pigeon shit in my mouth,” I explained.

“You should by a lottery ticket,” he replied.







I think I am starting to see why some people think Woof and I are the same person!


 
View Profile of lucas vigor Send a personal message to lucas vigor      Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
U-Moderate:
  
v1.5

[ About Tiki Central | Contact Tiki Central | Advertise on Tiki Central ]
(c) 2000-2014 Tikiroom.com (tm), Tiki Central (tm)

Credits & copyright infomation