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The Rhesus Monkeys!
lucas vigor
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 12, 2004
Posts: 3985
From: SOCAL
Posted: 2010-09-23 4:18 pm   Permalink

Quote:

On 2010-09-23 16:05, Sabu The Coconut Boy wrote:
When is the band going to release that CD of B-sides you talked about, called "Rhesus Pieces"?



After the christmas album!



 
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lucas vigor
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 12, 2004
Posts: 3985
From: SOCAL
Posted: 2010-09-23 4:18 pm   Permalink

Quote:

On 2010-09-23 11:19, bigtikidude wrote:
I wonder who this is in reference to?



Jeff(btd)





That’s a real good question, Jeff, and I am happy to answer it. It’s in reference to my new band, The Rhesus Monkeys. I have noticed that blowing your own horn is commonplace on this forum, so I figured that it’s perfectly ok for me to do the same with my band.

If someone reads anything into this, possibly about the over-commercialization of Tiki, or the shameless self-promotion bordering on Paris Hilton/Jersey Shore type levels, then that’s on them. Read into it what you will. If “insta-success” is the theme du jour, then the Rhesus Monkey’s reign supreme!

I do feel sorry, however, for those bands that toil in obscurity, creating excellent music that no one seems to care about, solely because the kool kids and hipsters don’t dig it. That makes me very sad. It seems in this day and age, true musicianship and talent seems to fall by the wayside, as other (more ruthless) “artists” grab all the headlines, constantly blowing their own horn very publically, or practically hiring others to blow the horn for them.

Even while I am actively being ruthless myself by crowing about my new band, The Rhesus Monkey’s, I tend to feel sorry for those bands or other events who can’t even get a measly thread to stay at or near the top of one of the forum sections without being drowned and pushed back down CONSTANTLY!

I use to have the opinion that musicians were supposed to be a family, supporting each other. I used to think that there was plenty to go around for everyone, and that everyone should be able to wet their beaks a little.

But that attitude has changed. Now it’s about me, me and me! I will grab what success I can for the Rhesus Monkeys at everyone else’s expense, and not feel bad about it at all!

And I don’t expect people to be unhappy about this at all. They should be used to it, since it happens all the time. In the old days, if a product was really good it would practically sell itself. But not anymore. Now you just find an idea or concept someone else worked hard to create, then duplicate it. If you are popular enough, then you will be successful at it. You will become “internationally known” overnight!

I will let you in on one secret I discovered, Jeff. There is yet another band forming right now, that is playing Hapa Haole music in the vintage Hawaiian style. But this band is made up of three fez-wearing tatted out dudes, who are friends with all the hipsters on this forum. Yes, this band is a pale imitation of the Smoking Menehunes, but I have every confidence that they will have much more success then the Menehunes ever did! You know why, Jeff? Because it’s all about two things: Hype, and who you know! If one of the kool kids says that this new group is most excellent, then everyone will flock to it, regardless whether the band is actually any good, or just has “Maggie’s Drawers”.





Many years ago there lived an Emperor who was so exceedingly fond of fine new clothes that he spent vast sums of money on dress. To him clothes meant more than anything else in the world. He took no interest in his army, nor did he care to go to the theatre, or to drive about in his state coach, unless it was to display his new clothes. He had different robes for every single hour of the day.
In the great city where he lived life was gay and strangers were always coming and going. Everyone knew about the Emperor's passion for clothes.
Now one fine day two swindlers, calling themselves weavers, arrived. They declared that they could make the most magnificent cloth that one could imagine; cloth of most beautiful colours and elaborate patterns. Not only was the material so beautiful, but the clothes made from it had the special power of being invisible to everyone who was stupid or not fit. for his post.
"What a splendid idea," thought the Emperor. "What useful clothes to have. If I had such a suit of clothes I could know at once which of my people is stupid or unfit for his post."
So the Emperor gave the swindlers large sums of money and the two weavers set up their looms in the palace. They demanded the finest thread of the best silk and the finest gold and they pretended to work at their looms. But they put nothing on the looms. The frames stood empty. The silk and gold thread they stuffed into their bags. So they sat pretending to weave, and continued to work at the empty loom till late into the night. Night after night they went home with their money and their bags full of the finest silk and gold thread. Day after day they pretended to work.
Now the Emperor was eager to know how much of the cloth was finished, and would have loved to see for himself. He was, however, somewhat uneasy. "Suppose," he thought secretly, "suppose I am unable to see the cloth. That would mean I am either stupid or unfit for my post. That cannot be," he thought, but all the same he decided to send for his faithful old minister to go and see. "He will best be able to see how the cloth looks. He is far from stupid and splendid at his work."
So the faithful old minister went into the hall where the two weavers sat beside the empty looms pretending to work with all their might.
The Emperor's minister opened his eyes wide. "Upon my life!" he thought. "I see nothing at all, nothing." But he did not say so.
The two swindlers begged him to come nearer and asked him how he liked it. "Are not the colors exquisite, and see how intricate are the patterns," they said. The poor old minister stared and stared. Still he could see nothing, for there was nothing. But he did not dare to say he saw nothing. "Nobody must find out,"' thought he. "I must never confess that I could not see the stuff."
"Well," said one of the rascals. "You do not say whether it pleases you."
"Oh, it is beautiful-most excellent, to be sure. Such a beautiful design, such exquisite colors. I shall tell the Emperor how enchanted) I am with the cloth."
"We are very glad to hear that," said the weavers, and they started to describe the colors and patterns in great detail. The old minister listened very carefully so that he could repeat the description to the Emperor. They also demanded more money and more gold thread, saying that they needed it to finish the cloth. But, of course, they put all they were given into their bags and pockets and kept on working at their empty looms.
Soon after this the Emperor sent another official to see how the men were ,getting on and to ask whether the cloth would soon be ready. Exactly the same happened with him as with the minister. He stood and stared, but as there was nothing to be seen, he could see nothing.
"Is not the material beautiful?" said the swindlers, and again they talked of 'the patterns and the exquisite colors. "Stupid I certainly am not," thought the official. "Then I must be unfit for my post. But nobody shall know that I could not see the material." Then he praised the material he did not see and declared that he was delighted with the colors and the marvelous patterns.
To the Emperor he said when he returned, "The cloth the weavers are preparing is truly magnificent."
Everybody in the city had heard of the secret cloth and were talking about the splendid material.
And now the Emperor was curious to see the costly stuff for himself while it was still upon the looms. Accompanied by a number of selected ministers, among whom were the two poor ministers who had already been before, the Emperor went to the weavers. There they sat in front of the empty looms, weaving more diligently than ever, yet without a single thread upon the looms.
"Is not the cloth magnificent?" said the two ministers. "See here, the splendid pattern, the glorious colors." Each pointed to the empty loom. Each thought that the other could see the material.
"What can this mean?" said the Emperor to himself. "This is terrible. Am I so stupid? Am I not fit to be Emperor? This is disastrous," he thought. But aloud he said, "Oh, the cloth is perfectly wonderful. It has a splendid pattern and such charming colors." And he nodded his approval and smiled appreciatively and stared at the empty looms. He would not, he could not, admit he saw nothing, when his two ministers had praised the material so highly. And all his men looked and looked at the empty looms. Not one of them saw anything there at all. Nevertheless, they all said, "Oh, the cloth is magnificent."
They advised the Emperor to have some new clothes made from this splendid material to wear in the great procession the following day.
"Magnificent." "Excellent." "Exquisite," went from mouth to mouth and everyone was pleased. Each of the swindlers was given a decoration to wear in his button-hole and the title of "Knight of the Loom".
The rascals sat up all that night and worked, burning more than sixteen candles, so that everyone could see how busy they were making the suit of clothes ready for the procession. Each of them had a great big pair of scissors and they cut in the air, pretending to cut the cloth with them, and sewed with needles without any thread.
There was great excitement in the palace and the Emperor's clothes were the talk of the town. At last the weavers declared that the clothes were ready. Then the Emperor, with the most distinguished gentlemen of the court, came to the weavers. Each of the swindlers lifted up an arm as if he were holding something. "Here are Your Majesty's trousers," said one. "This is Your Majesty's mantle," said the other. "The whole suit is as light as a spider's web. Why, you might almost feel as if you had nothing on, but that is just the beauty of it."
"Magnificent," cried the ministers, but they could see nothing at all. Indeed there was nothing to be seen.
"Now if Your Imperial Majesty would graciously consent to take off your clothes," said the weavers, "we could fit on the new ones." So the Emperor laid aside his clothes and the swindlers pretended to help him piece by piece into the new ones they were supposed to have made.
The Emperor turned from side to side in front of the long glass as if admiring himself.
"How well they fit. How splendid Your Majesty's robes look: What gorgeous colors!" they all said.
"The canopy which is to be held over Your Majesty in the procession is waiting," announced the Lord High Chamberlain.
"I am quite ready," announced the Emperor, and he looked at himself again in the mirror, turning from side to side as if carefully examining his handsome attire.
The courtiers who were to carry the train felt about on the ground pretending to lift it: they walked on solemnly pretending to be carrying it. Nothing would have persuaded them to admit they could not see the clothes, for fear they would be thought stupid or unfit for their posts.
And so the Emperor set off under the high canopy, at the head of the great procession. It was a great success. All the people standing by and at the windows cheered and cried, "Oh, how splendid are the Emperor's new clothes. What a magnificent train! How well the clothes fit!" No one dared to admit that he couldn't see anything, for who would want it to be known that he was either stupid or unfit for his post?
None of the Emperor's clothes had ever met with such success.
But among the crowds a little child suddenly gasped out, "But he hasn't got anything on." And the people began to whisper to one another what the child had said. "He hasn't got anything on." "There's a little child saying he hasn't got anything on." Till everyone was saying, "But he hasn't got anything on." The Emperor himself had the uncomfortable feeling that what they were whispering was only too true. "But I will have to go through with the procession," he said to himself.
So he drew himself up and walked boldly on holding his head higher than before, and the courtiers held on to the train that wasn't there at all.

_________________
http://soundcloud.com/lucas-vigor/sets/set-3/

I AM A SOCIOPATH!


 
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lucas vigor
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 12, 2004
Posts: 3985
From: SOCAL
Posted: 2010-09-23 8:01 pm   Permalink

Me, with my casio:




The rest of the "band"














_________________
http://www.myspace.com/lucasvigor

"yer jus not tuned into the series of tubes yet, let it soak in".

[ This Message was edited by: lucas vigor 2010-09-23 20:02 ]


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lucas vigor
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 12, 2004
Posts: 3985
From: SOCAL
Posted: 2010-09-23 8:22 pm   Permalink

And of course, we are going LATIN for next years Tiki oasis....(Oh yeah, we will be on the main stage, Saturday night, 10:00!)

(Thanks to one of our German fans for uploading this great shot!)

(yep, we are WORLD FAMOUS INTERNATIONALLY KNOWN)





_________________
http://www.myspace.com/lucasvigor

"yer jus not tuned into the series of tubes yet, let it soak in".

[ This Message was edited by: lucas vigor 2010-09-23 20:24 ]


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bigtikidude
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Aug 10, 2004
Posts: 8728
From: Anaheim,Ca.
Posted: 2010-09-25 4:17 pm   Permalink

thank you for the short n sweet answer.

Jeff(btd)



 
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VampiressRN
Grand Member (7 years)  

Joined: Nov 23, 2006
Posts: 5514
From: Sin City Lincoln Hills (NorCal)
Posted: 2010-09-25 4:21 pm   Permalink

Quit monkeying around and get busy Lucas!!! CONGRATULATIONS

 
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lucas vigor
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 12, 2004
Posts: 3985
From: SOCAL
Posted: 2010-11-27 07:53 am   Permalink

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzEzK7Y4574
_________________
http://soundcloud.com/lucas-vigor/sets/set-3/

I AM A SOCIOPATH!


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lucas vigor
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 12, 2004
Posts: 3985
From: SOCAL
Posted: 2011-06-03 4:22 pm   Permalink

I know it's been more then a few months since the Rhesus Monkey's last posted....but we have some exciting news!

First and foremost, we ended up NOT being selected to "headline" this year's Tiki Oasis...the "powers that be"decided we were not "right" for the line-up, and the reasons were that we had not won any Hawaiian music awards lately.

We did, however, win the "noble piece prize"....no, not the world famous prize that is awarded to heads of state or super world-famous "exotica" bands....This is a lesser award, and we won it for creating this year's most derivitive sound-alike album!

See, our strategy was really simple....using a casio keyboard and then buying the services of a lot of famous folk...we completely ripped of The Tikiyaki Orchestra..almost note for note (but just not as good). We were hoping no one would notice how we ripped off Jim's band...but our album just skyrocketed! Sales took off!
It really reminds me of that scene in the 4th Pink Panther movie, where former Chief Inspector Dreyfuss is talking to Clousseux about how Clousseux was occupying his former position and reaping the rewards that should have rightfully been his...oh well, it's truly an old story and history repeats itself....

But don't worry..even though the Rhesus Monkey's have been relegated to playing lesser venues and smaller stages....our spirit remains un-broken! No matter how much we are disrected, kicked to the dirt, thrown in the "where are they now?" bin, the Rhesus Monkey's always seem to pull out of the tailspin at the last moment!

Why? Because we are real musicians...musicians that take immense pride in what we do. Sure, we won't win any popularity contests on tiki central....but we know we are the REAL DEAL! We didn't purchase our way to the top of the tiki food chain...(we just stole it note-for-note and then called it our own!)

So start sending those letters to the powers that be! Start a petition! Don't you want to see the Rhesus Monkey's headlining Tiki Oasis!


 
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JOHN-O
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 16, 2008
Posts: 2646
From: Dogtown, USA
Posted: 2011-06-03 4:34 pm   Permalink

How about "Goin' Primitive" in Oct ??

Isn't that a monkey theme ??


 
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lucas vigor
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 12, 2004
Posts: 3985
From: SOCAL
Posted: 2012-12-16 1:24 pm   Permalink

To answer your question, John....sadly, the rhesus monkeys were NOT chosen to win this year's Hawaiian music awards.
Seems they have this funny little clause in the contract that says you must pay a huge entrance fee on the order of 10,000 dollars to even be considered.
Now, I was talking with my agent, Steve (who happens to be my older brother, Steve Vigor) and he told me a little bird told him that in order to be nominated for the Hawaiian music awards you could not actually play any real hawaiian music. I asked if "Jawaiian" music counted, and Steve told me that even that was called "so 90's" by the source he had on the judging committee.
So looks like we are out.
I did send a letter to the panel, asking them to reconsider. I even told them we had made some personnel changes....

(I had to fire a few monkeys because they were starting to upstage me.)

Our new band consists of:

Lucas Vigor: Casio and a trust fund
"greedy John Baxter (Yes, an 8th cousin to Les): Drums
Ann Chaino: (yes, THAT Chaino!) flute
Marcie Midler: (Yes, her half sister) Dancer
Colleen Degeneris: Dancer
Ethel Spears: (Brittney's niece)Dancer
John-O: Percussion
Adrian Poly-Pop: Percussion
Big Tiki Dude: Mellotron

Despite my hard feelings toward the hawaiian music awards in general, I am happy to announce that a new Rhesus Monkeys album is currently being produced. I am going for broke this time, pulling out all the stops.....

I can't reveal too much at this point, but I guarantee you this music will be accompanied by the usual excessive hype. Songs are being recorded right now that don't even threaten to groove! At one point on the 3rd song, there is actually a major scale played by my fake casio-vibraphone!

I am sure I have created the perfect combination that will get this band to be "internationally known"....heck, we may even finally get a wikipedia page of our own, crediting us with being a real "exotica" act in the same league as Don Tiki and the martini kings! (Hey, all it takes are rabid fans to do my dirty work for me, and make up lies and false accolades!)

Onward and upward!

Additionally, Simon Fuller has just signed us to an exclusive contract. He is even supplying the computer loops and instrument downloads, auto-tune and pro tools to record the whole thing. I asked Simon if it was ok that we had never really paid our dues as a band, slogging away, playing on a rainy tuesday night for 3 people....and he said YES! He said "it's done all the time, Lucas!".

I asked him if it was ok to bill ourselves as a "supergroup" and he said "sure!"...being as honest as I am, I initially questioned how this could be a supergroup when at the most, members of this band have not really gigged anywhere, and he told me "It's image and hype that counts! This is the music BUSINESS"...

I guess the old adage is true: if you say a thing enough times, it becomes true.


_________________
http://soundcloud.com/lucas-vigor/sets/set-3/

"yer jus not tuned into the series of tubes yet, let it soak in".

[ This Message was edited by: Lucas Vigor 2012-12-16 17:54 ]


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bigtikidude
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Aug 10, 2004
Posts: 8728
From: Anaheim,Ca.
Posted: 2013-04-02 3:14 pm   Permalink

Bump

 
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