FEATURES | MUSIC | BOOKS | DRINKS | FORUMS | GAMES | LINKS | ABOUT


advertise on Tiki Central

Celebrating classic and modern Polynesian Pop
  [Edit Profile]  [Edit Preferences]  [Search] [Sign Up]
[Personal Messages]  [Member List]  [Help/FAQ]  [Rules]  [Login]
Tiki Central Forums » » Bilge » » Things You've Learned From Movies & TV
Goto page ( Previous Page 1 | 2 | 3 Next Page )
Things You've Learned From Movies & TV
aquarj
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Apr 02, 2002
Posts: 1105
From: SF bay area, CA
Posted: 2012-03-06 11:48 pm   Permalink

Female Russian spies are universally smart, sexy, and extremely passionate lovers. That's the field agents though. Any female boss back at the home station looks like an angry toad.

Phone repair men are never really phone repair men.

When you're infiltrating some kind of compound with uniformed guards, it's enough cover to just use one of their uniforms. You might think the other guards know each other well because that's the only human contact they get in otherwise dreary jobs. But you can still proceed and safely assume that no one will think it's odd that they don't recognize you.

If you're going to beam down to a planet, make sure there's at least one person in the visiting party of lower rank (and with fewer lines) than you.

If you love football, but you're shorter, slower, and more clumsy than everyone already on the team, don't let that bother you. Just persevere and someday you'll get your chance on the team and win the big game.

If you want to acquire a new skill, play an upbeat song and perform little snippets of gradual improvement. You'll be an expert in no time.

If you're receiving some form of witness protection, give your guardians a hard time and constantly try to give them the slip. Self-preservation is boring.

If the bad guys capture you for questioning, give them a lot of snotty remarks and insults. They might beat the crap out of you, but they can't take away the pleasure you'll get from a few choice zingers. Again, self-preservation is boring.

If you're any kind of law enforcement and about to retire, and you're called out to ONE LAST active crime scene involving any kind of violent offender, go for it. Don't just take the rest of the day off instead. Sure that nice pension is waiting, but again, self-preservation is boring.

Everyone aged 18-25 from 1967 to 1970 was drugged out the entire time, with no memory whatsoever of their activity during those years. Not a single person in that age group was living a normal productive life.

Before 1970, all cars on the road were spotless.

Wives always figure out the stupid secret plans their husbands have made, through the force of pure intuition alone. But they always forgive the big lunks after they own up and apologize.

-Randy


 
View Profile of aquarj Send a personal message to aquarj  Goto the website of aquarj     Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
woofmutt
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Mar 26, 2002
Posts: 2639
From: Seattilite Telstar
Posted: 2012-03-07 10:31 am   Permalink


"If you want to acquire a new skill, play an upbeat song and perform little snippets of gradual improvement. You'll be an expert in no time."


This also works if you're trying to accomplish a labor intensive or tedious task such as remodeling an old house or canvassing a city with promotional materials.


 
View Profile of woofmutt Send a personal message to woofmutt  Email woofmutt Goto the website of woofmutt     Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
VampiressRN
Grand Member (8 years)  

Joined: Nov 23, 2006
Posts: 6153
From: Sun City Lincoln Hills (NorCal)
Posted: 2012-03-07 10:44 am   Permalink

I too have learned all the things mentioned so far. I think stopping to look back at your suspected murderer when you are running away is really important so you can be sure to trip and fall. Also, all of our animals are able to speak to us and plan hijinx!
_________________
"Oh waiter, another cocktail please!!!"


 
View Profile of VampiressRN Send a personal message to VampiressRN  Email VampiressRN Goto the website of VampiressRN     Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
Atomic Tiki Punk
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 19, 2009
Posts: 7048
From: Costa Misery
Posted: 2012-03-07 3:19 pm   Permalink

The best way to follow or watch someone is to just stand right out in the open
When following in a car, just drive right behind them.

also if you act super creepy at a bar or nightclub, you can get a women to leave with you.

If you are watching a police procedural the best known guest star on the credits
is doing the crimes.

If you get knocked out, you are probably just fine after wards, so no need to see a doctor
a bag of frozen peas will heal you right up.


 
View Profile of Atomic Tiki Punk Send a personal message to Atomic Tiki Punk      Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
aquarj
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Apr 02, 2002
Posts: 1105
From: SF bay area, CA
Posted: 2012-03-07 6:15 pm   Permalink

In any martial arts clash between any two groups of different sizes, honor dictates that the larger group must take turns against the smaller group. When the ratio is something like 10-1, protocol dictates that all members of the larger group must stand in a circle around the opponent, and rush in one by one.

Corollary: when martial arts is involved, no participant should bring a gun.

Anyone exposed to radioactive material is blessed with fun new powers, and/or uncontrollable supersizing.

The only way to effectively report on a storm is to go stand in it. Otherwise no one will believe you.

When driving to a crime scene, police are trained to always arrive with a screeching skid. Then jump out and leave the doors open with the keys inside.

-Randy


 
View Profile of aquarj Send a personal message to aquarj  Goto the website of aquarj     Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
VampiressRN
Grand Member (8 years)  

Joined: Nov 23, 2006
Posts: 6153
From: Sun City Lincoln Hills (NorCal)
Posted: 2012-03-07 6:37 pm   Permalink

If you are in the lead...your hair will always look perfect even after jumping out of a plane or kicking butt on a goon squad.
_________________
"Oh waiter, another cocktail please!!!"


 
View Profile of VampiressRN Send a personal message to VampiressRN  Email VampiressRN Goto the website of VampiressRN     Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
woofmutt
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Mar 26, 2002
Posts: 2639
From: Seattilite Telstar
Posted: 2012-03-07 8:43 pm   Permalink

During a car chase the tires on the cars will always make screeching noises no matter what surface the cars are driving on.

And horse hooves usually make a crisp clean noise no matter what surface the horse is running on/being ridden on.
_________________
Attribution is the sincerest form of flattery.


 
View Profile of woofmutt Send a personal message to woofmutt  Email woofmutt Goto the website of woofmutt     Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
woofmutt
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Mar 26, 2002
Posts: 2639
From: Seattilite Telstar
Posted: 2012-03-07 8:46 pm   Permalink

If you discover a bag of white powder and you're wondering if it's drugs juts lick a finger, dip it in the powder, and taste it. If it tastes like drugs it probably is drugs.
_________________
Attribution is the sincerest form of flattery.


 
View Profile of woofmutt Send a personal message to woofmutt  Email woofmutt Goto the website of woofmutt     Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
woofmutt
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Mar 26, 2002
Posts: 2639
From: Seattilite Telstar
Posted: 2012-03-08 08:11 am   Permalink

If you're going away for the weekend and you don't think your teenage kids will have a party or you tell them to not have a party they will have a party.

If you're a cop and you holler "Stop in the name of the law!" or "Stop! Police!" they will not stop.


 
View Profile of woofmutt Send a personal message to woofmutt  Email woofmutt Goto the website of woofmutt     Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
ErkNoLikeFire
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Aug 07, 2010
Posts: 434
From: Michigan
Posted: 2012-03-09 12:30 am   Permalink

In Japan, men come first, women come second. .... if your a spy

Any car you drive in a chase will have more than four hubcaps.

Superman can laugh at bullets, but will duck at everything else.

You never have to worry about wearing your seatbelt, unless the killer in the car with you also fails to buckle up. Only then do you put it on.

Sharks and their families can all hold a long term grudge against transplanted New York cops and their families.

Hacking a computer is just as visually exciting as getting sucked into Tron.

It will be the adventure of a lifetime, but you don't get to keep whatever you were after.

Nic Cage is the most rational person in any given plot or scheme, and something will be on fire.

Somebody in your life will say the exact right thing you need to hear at the exact right time.

If someone is shooting at you or trying to stab you, just let them hit you in the shoulder or arm. Once that's out of the way, you can ignore it and get back to getting your beatdown on. This does not work if your the villian, but you do get to absorb just as much punishment and save it all up for once last slow motion chance at stabbing,shooting, or triggering the bomb moment.


_________________
"I've been ionized, but I'm okay now." - B. Banzai

“The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.” Martin Mull

"Rum is not drinking, it's surviving" Robert Shaw THE DEEP


 
View Profile of ErkNoLikeFire Send a personal message to ErkNoLikeFire  Email ErkNoLikeFire     Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
Bruddah Bear
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Apr 07, 2011
Posts: 629
From: Los Angeles Basin, Westside
Posted: 2012-03-09 02:23 am   Permalink


Any crime, no matter how complex or out of the ordinary, can be solved in the span of an hour.

Any familial, school, work related, or interpersonal problem can be resolved in 30 minutes.



 
View Profile of Bruddah Bear Send a personal message to Bruddah Bear      Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
Club Nouméa
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 03, 2010
Posts: 450
From: Wanganui
Posted: 2012-03-10 7:04 pm   Permalink

Cowboys' six-shooters can magically fire an unlimited number of rounds without reloading when shooting at redskins.

In Normandy in WWII, US soldiers always bunched together, because staying in camera shot was more important than avoiding mass casualties from German machine guns, mortars and light artillery.

In the Vietnam War, once again for the camera, US soldiers on patrol in ambush country always walked along hill crests on clear moonlit nights so they would be perfectly silhouetted for miles around.

The US single-handedly found out the secret of Germany's Enigma coding machine in WWII when it captured the U571 in a Hollywood scriptwriter's imagination. This intelligence coup owed absolutely nothing to pre-war Polish intelligence or WWII British cypher breakthroughs, and in particular had nothing to with the Royal Navy's actual capture of the U100 with its real Enigma coding machine.

American and British actors can portray white or black South Africans far more convincingly than white or black South African actors...

And an Australian or NZ accent is pretty much the same as a British one...








_________________

Toto, j'ai l'impression que nous ne sommes plus au Kansas !



[ This Message was edited by: Club Nouméa 2012-03-11 17:26 ]

[ This Message was edited by: Club Nouméa 2012-03-11 17:28 ]


 
View Profile of Club Nouméa Send a personal message to Club Nouméa      Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
woofmutt
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Mar 26, 2002
Posts: 2639
From: Seattilite Telstar
Posted: 2012-03-12 07:43 am   Permalink

No one ever actually plays chess for enjoyment. Chess is only played because...

    - The player is a genius.

    -The player feels obligated to not let down a chess playing father or grandfather.

    -The player is a spy and the moves are actually codes.

    -The player is missing/has been murdered/is a serial murderer and the game on the player's (or the victim's) chess board is actually a secret message. (If it's not a secret message it's a an extremely valuable clue.)

    -It's a metaphor for war/the interaction between rivals/life, the universe, and everything.


 
View Profile of woofmutt Send a personal message to woofmutt  Email woofmutt Goto the website of woofmutt     Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
Sophista-tiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Sep 13, 2005
Posts: 1893
From: Seattle WA
Posted: 2012-03-12 1:33 pm   Permalink

Just because you get killed in one episode doesn't mean you can't come back as someone else in a different episode.

All Hawaiian shirts are to be worn with white pants through 1980.

easy body disposal methods,
drop in volcanic vent
shove over cliff
sink in shark infested waters

Only McGarrett is allowed to wear super flowery long sleve hawaiian shirts

the same piece of hotel art can be used over and over again even though it got destroyed several episodes back.


only tourists and lounge acts wear matching outfits.

no one has bigger or pointier collars tham pimps.

anyone can take a suitcase full of money and a gun on a plane, no questions asked.


_________________
etsy.com/sophistatiki. Everything from my newest line- Castaway Cravats to prints of my Tiki Magazine Cover.


 
View Profile of Sophista-tiki Send a personal message to Sophista-tiki  Email Sophista-tiki Goto the website of Sophista-tiki     Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
Sophista-tiki
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Sep 13, 2005
Posts: 1893
From: Seattle WA
Posted: 2012-03-12 1:49 pm   Permalink

in the 70's if you were poor everything in your house was beige
now if your rich everything in your house is beige.
_________________
etsy.com/sophistatiki. Everything from my newest line- Castaway Cravats to prints of my Tiki Magazine Cover.


 
View Profile of Sophista-tiki Send a personal message to Sophista-tiki  Email Sophista-tiki Goto the website of Sophista-tiki     Edit/Delete This Post Reply with quote
Goto page ( Previous Page 1 | 2 | 3 Next Page )
U-Moderate:
  
v1.5

[ About Tiki Central | Contact Tiki Central | Advertise on Tiki Central ]
(c) 2000-2017 Tikiroom.com (tm), Tiki Central (tm)

Credits & copyright infomation