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Tiki Central Forums » » Bilge » » Writing Critique Needed
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Writing Critique Needed
MadDogMike
Grand Member (6 years)  

Joined: Mar 30, 2008
Posts: 7292
From: The Anvil of the Sun
Posted: 2014-02-14 11:33 pm   Permalink

I want to slip these into my wedding invitations. Whaddayathink?

Neither Teresa nor my daughter Jenna know I slipped this in the invitation as they would think it's uncouth. But I'm old and crotchety, I think I can get away with it.
RSVP - I know people don't like to RSVP, they don't want to commit because they think the might get a better offer at the last minute. But the caterer needs a headcount so if you don't RSVP you won't get a meal. You can send back the card that I have been so kind to stamp for you or you can email me at
xxxx@xxxxxxx.com
Church Seating - We have invited 200 people and the church seats about 180. I suggest you show up early or wear comfortable standing shoes. Also, the ceremony will be short and sweet. Don't show up 50 minutes late and expect to see me kiss the bride.
Kids - Please leave your children at home so that you and the other guests can enjoy the evening.
Gifts - Teresa and I have each spent the last 30+ year collecting stuff, we don't need another set of Target mixing bowls. Enjoying your company on our special evening is gift enough. However, if you feel you have to, there will be a box provided for any gifts which will fit into an envelope
Thank you,
Mike
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When you hurry through life, you just get to the end faster.
Pirate Ship Tree House


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Atomic Tiki Punk
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Joined: Jul 19, 2009
Posts: 6003
From: Costa Misery
Posted: 2014-02-14 11:36 pm   Permalink

I concur!

 
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lucas vigor
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 12, 2004
Posts: 3985
From: SOCAL
Posted: 2014-02-15 07:06 am   Permalink

In a perfect world, Mike, you probably would never have to even ask these things...but I guarantee ALL of these things will happen, especially kids coming...and crying and then acting up with their parent's doing nothing to stop it. I have played at countless weddings, and have seen it time and time again. People filming the actual ceremony, the flowers, the lights, everything perfect...and the kid wailing away in the back ground. It happens.

By warning people up front to conduct themselves in the proper manner...it may result in some people just deciding not to come, and you having a small wedding...if you are cool with that, go for it!


 
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nui 'umi 'umi
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Feb 21, 2011
Posts: 1057
From: La Mirada Atoll
Posted: 2014-02-15 11:25 am   Permalink

Great idea but it does make it seem that you’re "old an crotchety” Most of us know better!
Wish you and the lucky lady much happiness.
David and CeCe


 
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tikiskip
Grand Member (8 years)  

Joined: Nov 26, 2005
Posts: 2816
Posted: 2014-02-15 12:58 pm   Permalink

"I want to slip these into my wedding invitations."

"Neither Teresa nor my daughter Jenna know I slipped this in the invitation as they would think it's uncouth."

Are you thinking of doing this?
Or have you already done it?


 
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MadDogMike
Grand Member (6 years)  

Joined: Mar 30, 2008
Posts: 7292
From: The Anvil of the Sun
Posted: 2014-02-18 08:40 am   Permalink

Skip, I haven't done it yet - I'm trying to decide if I can get away with it
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Cammo
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Joined: May 18, 2006
Posts: 1952
From: San Diego
Posted: 2014-02-18 10:34 am   Permalink

What the heck? You'll only lose the friends that are uncool and get a standing ovation from the ones you like!

GO FOR THE GOLD!

And if crotchety means not crying while the minister talks about responsibilities, obviously the crotchetier the better!


 
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tikiskip
Grand Member (8 years)  

Joined: Nov 26, 2005
Posts: 2816
Posted: 2014-02-18 10:58 am   Permalink

You have only heard from men so far.
Weddings are of the ladies world.
Men just show up, and try not to f up!

So... you need to ask at least 7 ladies about this.
I think you will get a majority of horrified don't do its.
As for me I too would say don't do it, I agree with you, but it would do more harm than good.

And you are going to start your new life with your new wife with a cloud
of I don't know, not good.

you should be able to share and agree on most things with her, And this is a big one in the
world of the ladies.

Good luck.
And congrats!!!!




 
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MadDogMike
Grand Member (6 years)  

Joined: Mar 30, 2008
Posts: 7292
From: The Anvil of the Sun
Posted: 2014-02-18 11:39 am   Permalink

Thanks for your thoughts and well wishes.
Skip, weddings are definitely a woman's realm. I suggested that since she got to pick out the wedding dress and the bridesmaids dresses, I should take my groomsmen and pick out our attire. And she wouldn't see them until she walked down the aisle. My son suggested tophat and tails with shorts and flip-flops. My fiancee suggested that it might be a cold and lonely honeymoon if I did


 
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Atomic Tiki Punk
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 19, 2009
Posts: 6003
From: Costa Misery
Posted: 2014-02-18 1:15 pm   Permalink

Whatever you decide, suit up & look your best!
no beach flops!


 
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lucas vigor
Tiki Socialite

Joined: May 12, 2004
Posts: 3985
From: SOCAL
Posted: 2014-02-18 1:29 pm   Permalink

ATP and I are both troll sociopaths and now sadists to boot, but both of us have been in long term relationships and know the right things to do to keep them that way. ATP makes the most awesome dinners for his honey, and I, Lucas the sociopath just do everything my gal and daughter tell me to do, when they want me to do it, 100% of the time.

When it comes to weddings, women need to call the shots. It is my theory (and also because I am a hardcore supporter of feminism) that women are generally smarter then us dudes, usually make better style decisions...and we as men are just better off listening to them....

no shorts, no flip flops, no "instructions" slipped into the wedding invites. MDM, if she wants you to wear a white tux and sing the theme from MASH at her wedding, just do it!


And thank me later~


 
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tikilongbeach
Grand Member (first year)  

Joined: Aug 05, 2011
Posts: 1309
From: Long Beach, CA via Dallas, TX
Posted: 2014-02-18 1:35 pm   Permalink

I'll throw my 2 cents in.

Edit the gifts section to read, "In lieu of gifts please donate to the charity of your choice" or something like that.

It's a wedding with a set time as is stated on your invitation. If they can't get to the church on time than they're SOL. There is no need to include anything in your note about that.

Instead of leave your children at home you could include something like "Due to limited venue space, Adults only please”. I took that from an etiquette website.

Including your email address in addition to the stamped reply envelope should be good enough. I suppose you could even create an Evite if people don't want to go to the trouble of sending an email or going to a mailbox.
www.evite.com
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-Lori


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Atomic Tiki Punk
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 19, 2009
Posts: 6003
From: Costa Misery
Posted: 2014-02-18 1:37 pm   Permalink

Just in case, here are the lyrics for the MASH theme song

Johnny Mandel – Suicide Is Painless

Through early morning fog I see
Visions of the things to be
The pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

I try to find a way to make
All our little joys relate
Without that ever-present hate
But now I know that it's too late, and

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

The game of life is hard to play
I'm gonna lose it anyway
The losing card I'll someday lay
So this is all I have to say

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

The only way to win is cheat
And lay it down before I'm beat
And to another give my seat
For that's the only painless feat

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

The sword of time will pierce our skins
It doesn't hurt when it begins
But as it works its way on in
The pain grows stronger watch it grin, but

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

A brave man once requested me
To answer questions that are key
Is it to be or not to be
And I replied 'Oh, why ask me?'

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

'Cause suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please

And you can do the same thing if you please


 
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Atomic Tiki Punk
Tiki Socialite

Joined: Jul 19, 2009
Posts: 6003
From: Costa Misery
Posted: 2014-02-18 1:38 pm   Permalink

Lori has some good thoughts, maybe we should let her stick around for a bit

 
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MadDogMike
Grand Member (6 years)  

Joined: Mar 30, 2008
Posts: 7292
From: The Anvil of the Sun
Posted: 2014-02-18 6:44 pm   Permalink

I was married for 30 years, long enough to know any power a man perceives to have in a marriage is an illusion

Yes I will do what I am supposed to do like a good little puppet king of my domain. I was just kidding about the insert
_________________
When you hurry through life, you just get to the end faster.
Pirate Ship Tree House

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