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Is it wrong to not want kids...? |
sweetpea
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Jan 14, 2003
Posts: 877
From: Seattle
|  Posted: 2004-07-19 5:56 pm Permalink
TNT, I commend you for your work.
I work at a cancer center, and have seen kids going thru chemo and medical proceedures. I could never do it. I'm glad there are folks like you that can! AND DO!!!
I think I figured out where I mucked up in trying to explain myself -note- when I type on weekends, I'm usually a bit on the well, tipsy side... hehehehehehe
Anyhow, I think that I need to not compare the loss of a child to an animal. As I will NOT have children, I will not know what it is like to loose one. SOOOOO therefore at this point in my life, (unmarried, no kids, no significant other,) the worst pain from a loss I felt was my cat, and I think that is quite a pain to suffer, so I think those of us who don't have kids and have animals for aLong time ( I think I spent more time with my cat than most parents spend with their kids, hahahaha) shouldn't be made to feel like we would be ovverreacting in calling our critters our babies. Because for some of us, they are as close as we will ever get.
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Feelin' Zombified
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Jul 15, 2003
Posts: 1328
From: The Exotic Shores of Lake St. Clair
| Posted: 2004-07-19 6:55 pm Permalink
I'm still not sure if this thread is about pets or childlessness. Either way...
My dog is cuter than your dog/cat/son/gerbil/parrot/daughter/ferret/grandkid/elf/etc
Hansel the UberSchnauzer
And he likes tikis
-Z
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TNTiki
Tiki Socialite
Joined: May 15, 2004
Posts: 464
From: Knoxville, TN
| Posted: 2004-07-19 9:20 pm Permalink
[ This Message was edited by: TNTiki on 2004-11-06 15:06 ]
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Velvet Ruby
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Nov 22, 2003
Posts: 117
From: Vancouver
| Posted: 2004-07-20 03:05 am Permalink
This is my companion until I can afford a Boston Terrier..
Her name is Hula, notice her fine markings, and excellent posture..
And this is the savvy loungester in the making that I am totally in love with and privileged enough to nanny..
I completely agree with the sentiments already shared, I can't wait to have children, but I won't until I am stable enough to give them the upbringing they deserve.. pets too! (And I totally agree that there really is no comparison between the two..) I don't want a dog until I know I have a place they can run around outside, and won't go nuts from being alone inside all day by themselves..
Being able to afford food and the vet bills is also another consideration..
until then, I practice not killing my houseplants..
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docwoods
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Feb 29, 2004
Posts: 595
From: outside the windy city
| Posted: 2004-07-20 07:23 am Permalink
TNTiki-thank YOU!Sweetpea,it's a perspective thing-of course you're going to be devestated if a beloved pet dies-I remember when my pet parakeet Linus flew out the window,I was inconsolable for weeks.It's a tough thing to have to go through.
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mattfink
Tiki Socialite
Joined: May 05, 2003
Posts: 579
From: Detroit
| Posted: 2004-07-20 08:02 am Permalink
Pets aint kids, but don't tell that to my dog Scooter:
Pets can certainly give you unconditional love (well at least dogs can), but can they take care of you in your old age? Pets are like children that never grow up as they will always be dependent upon you as the owner for their well being. I don't have any kids yet, but I can imagine the reward of being a parent is successfully raising a healthy independent child into an adult.
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vwtikigirl
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Jan 01, 2004
Posts: 218
From: austin
| Posted: 2004-07-20 09:02 am Permalink
Here are our pups Bean and Frankie. We also have a "human" kid, but I don't want to touch this whole discussion, just post a pic of my puppies.
-vw
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johntiki
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Mar 31, 2002
Posts: 1525
From: MD
| Posted: 2004-07-20 12:34 pm Permalink
TNT - that was beautifully put!
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johntiki
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Mar 31, 2002
Posts: 1525
From: MD
| Posted: 2004-07-20 1:08 pm Permalink
Quote:
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On 2004-07-17 01:42, Atomicchick wrote:
Johntiki, like I said it was food for thought. To compare a positive idea that could possibly help people be better prepared for parenthood to Hitler? You must be a complete loon! Geez, you should really watch what you say, for all you know (or in your case don't know) I could be Jewish, married to a Jew or have Jewish relatives.
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What you may consider to be a positive tool to help people prepare for parenthood sounds awfully fascist to me! I'm sure our parents didn't need classes or even books to "teach" them to be parents - parenting for a good portion of society is instinctual and natural. To require people to do things that some people perceive as "helping society" is insulting! A policy like this could potentially lay the groundwork for further policies restricting people's ability to live their lives without governmental involvement!
As for the reference to Hitler...if a tongue in cheek comment equating an idea I feel is fascist to history's most reviled fascist dictator insults you, then it obviously went over your head. I believe any reasonable person (Jewish or Gentile!) would understand my comparison.
Finally as for you referring to me as a "Loon" - that's a title I will wear with pride - just check out my new signature! 
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JohnTiki
Aloha from the enchanted Pi Yi Grotto the Looniest Tiki Bar in Bel Air Maryland!
[ This Message was edited by: johntiki on 2004-07-20 13:11 ]
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Geeky Tiki
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Oct 15, 2002
Posts: 533
From: Las vegas
| Posted: 2004-07-20 1:33 pm Permalink
I enjoyed taking some classes with my wife before baby number one.
We took a class on breast feeding because my wife's mom was from an era of bottle feeding and we really didn't know what to expect for the best way to pump, freeze, do proper nipple care, etc.
It sounds dopey, but we enjoyed the time together and learned about feeding intervals and nutrition for her, safe vitamins, all sorts of things. It made the actual arrival less stressful.
We also took a "get ready to deliver class" that was reassuring to her.
I'm chuckling as I type this 'cause it sounds so dumb-yuppy-guy, but I bet if enough people were offered the chance or had their OB's make it part of the process, we'd have alot fewer people showing up for care for the first time as they are delivering.
I'm not saying we should force anybody, but creating an expectation of preparedness on the part of society may go a long way to helping people cope and do a better job.
I don't know if there is one, but an organization that helps parents organize their home and get their shit together the first week a baby comes home would help many people. Maybe there are some already, but I'd vote to make it higher profile. I think much of the baby abuse/ child abuse in this world comes from not knowing how to cope with these rather stressful creatures.
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SON OF MOTHRA
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Jul 20, 2004
Posts: 200 | Posted: 2004-07-20 3:18 pm Permalink
Rocky and Lily, Mothra's favorite barflies
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TNTiki
Tiki Socialite
Joined: May 15, 2004
Posts: 464
From: Knoxville, TN
| Posted: 2004-07-20 5:11 pm Permalink
[ This Message was edited by: TNTiki on 2004-11-06 15:06 ]
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TNTiki
Tiki Socialite
Joined: May 15, 2004
Posts: 464
From: Knoxville, TN
| Posted: 2004-07-20 5:20 pm Permalink
[ This Message was edited by: TNTiki on 2004-11-06 15:06 ]
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vintagegirl
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Jun 12, 2002
Posts: 537
From: Los Angeles
| Posted: 2004-07-20 7:07 pm Permalink
People should think of preparing for childbirth like training for a marathon. You can never be too prepared. (Start getting in shape and learn everything you can about nutrition even before you get pregnant.)
I prefer to be the eccentric aunt (in the words of my niece, "Why doesn't she go to the mall and buy some new clothes?") and Atomic enjoys being the uncle that comes to his brother's house and gets the kids really wound up and hyper, then hands them back to the parents once they are bouncing off the walls.
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Bamboo Dude
Tiki Socialite
Joined: Jul 05, 2004
Posts: 164
From: Orange Countiki, CA
| Posted: 2004-07-20 8:05 pm Permalink
Atomic sounds like my Bro...makes my wife CRAZY!
[ This Message was edited by: Bamboo Dude on 2004-07-20 22:15 ]
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